"Meet them among others"

This is me, writing my feelings publicly since I am quite melancholic at the moment...

I can't seem to contain my bittersweet emotions because of this honey-bee couple that really steals my attention... 

The We Got Married "Gong-Lee" couple  Lee Jong Hyun (of CN Blue) and actress Gong Seung Yeon..it feels weird that I wish that they would end up together in real life and love bravely and generously despite all the crazy, delusional fans that don't want them to be real...err.. am I among those delusional fans? LOL! Strange enough, I wish all these for them when they are total strangers...why, I should be praying these things to happen for me instead, right? Since I am single, available and unattached to anyone romantically..as if my love cells have already died long time ago, since I'm not interested in anyone at the moment...but I seriously want these for them...Hahaha...

and here..this is them, sweet, aren't they? :)

  

And..here is the song that reflects them which I am currently listening repetitively on my playlist...

The original title of the song would be "meet him among them' 그 중에 그대를-만나 by Lee Sun Hee ... but I'll change it to "Meet them among others"

그렇게 대단한 운명까진

바란적 없다 생각했는데

그대 하나 떠나간 내 하룬 이제

운명이 아님 채울 수 없소

별처럼 수 많은 사람들 그 중에 그대를 만나

꿈을 꾸듯 서롤 알아보고

주는 것 만으로 벅찼던 내가 또 사랑을 받고

그 모든건 기적이었음을

그렇게 어른이 되었다고

자신한 내가 어제같은데

그대라는 인연을 놓지 못하는

내 모습, 어린아이가 됐소

나를 꽃처럼 불러주던 그대 입술에 핀 내 이름

이제 수많은 이름들 그 중에 하나되고

오~ 그대의 이유였던 나의 모든 것도 그저 그렇게

별처럼 수 많은 사람들 그 중에 서로를 만나

사랑하고 다시 멀어지고

억겁의 시간이 지나도 어쩌면 또다시 만나

우리 사랑 운명이었다면

내가 너의 기적이었다면

Meet Him Among Them

I never wished for fate

to bring us so close

Now that you're gone

my days are useless

Of all the people, I met you

It was like a dream

And the love I got from you

It was like a miracle

I thought I was ready

I was sure I'd be fine

But look where I am

I can't let you go

Of all the people, I met you

It was like a dream

And the love I got from you

It was like a miracle

You used to call my name

with the sweetest voice I know

But now I'm just another face

And everything I have

means nothing to me

Of all the people, we met

but we parted ways

Maybe we'll meet again someday

if we were meant to be

It'll be a miracle

They departed from the show already...and that's among the reasons why I'm having this withdrawal syndrome...be strong, heart...brave this phase and everything will be back to normal soon, hopefully...

Be happy to both of you, Jong Hyun & Seng Yeon...may this photo will be a reality some years ahead..oh, my shipper's heart and delusional mind :)

Life is picturesque.

I love this photo so much. (Credit to the genius photographer: Uncle Ikmal )

As to the people who have known me for quite sometime would already understand that, one of my must-do activities every year is travelling abroad. 

So guess...where is this? 

A famous place of course, Namiseom (in Hanguel)  or Nami Island, Gyeonggi-do,  South Korea. 

This photo was taken back in late November last year (my 2nd trip to the country but the first one to the place). It was during the changing season of Autumn to winter. That's why you could see yellow leaves on the ground but there was also snow falling at the same time.

Splendid, isn't it?

Objective of the photo above? To pose like models, as if we were making the cover for our album (the kind that singers often do for their songs' album...LOL)

As the conclusion for this entry, feast your eyes with superb nature offered by Nami Island: 

A lake across the place with a bridge connecting the separated lands

Ground view of the line-up pine trees

People talk. People smile. People laugh. People cry. 

These are emotions.

And among the extreme emotion is SHOUTING, SCREAMING or BELLOWING your voice out loud so that the world around you knows and understands your feelings. 

That's exactly what I feel like doing right now. But a sure thing for me to do is doing the other way around. That means NOT TO DO just exactly that. For I believe that letting yourself to be consumed with too much of radical emotion is BAD, in many sense:

i- BAD for your health (imagine the sore throat and migraine that will come afterward - nightmare!

ii- BAD for your beauty (smiling only takes 3 of your muscles to work but frowning takes more than 200 muscles! What's more with screaming! Your beauty sure will degrade tremendously!)

iii-BAD for your image (people will see you as someone who is insane? Worse,  when people assume that I am immature and can't handle my job professionally)

To me, there are MORE bad effects rather than GOOD effects. Sure, I would have felt immediate relief and instant satisfaction. But that's it. No more than that. Instead, to deal with the after effects is more hassle. Changing people's perception towards us is way difficult (usually this will last for months or years) than enduring your feelings alone. Life is about connecting with people (NOKIA has the right tagline), not isolating yourself and segregating people around you. That's why there are concepts of family, friendship, relationship etc. 

Therefore, I believe that being a rationale and mature person is important. You get a bonus if you are wise and knowledgeable too! 

And for all those reasons that I have stated, it's better to keep hold of my emotions, rather than letting it loose. Once, I was very good at it that people used to describe me as INDIFFERENT. I was  good once, why can't I do the same, now?


I'll end this entry with one of my favourite quotes:

It's the KEYBOARD!

Salam to all...

It has been soooooooooooo long since I last updated this blog...years ago (last entry was in July 2012!)...My gosh...2012 was like almost err...2 years ago? Haaa....dah bersawang pun blog ini ibaratnya....and if it is symbolised as a baby, the baby would have walked and run by now! Hehe...nay, for quite some times, I lost my passion in writing my thought publicly (but I still keep a conventional, personal diary though)...

Maybe...perhaps...probably, I will start writing again since my new keyboard is really, really, really a BIG temptation for me to run my fingers on it, pouring out my thoughts while listening to its' sound and feeling the smoothness of its' surface...It feels like...falling in love? Haha...that's too exaggerating, honestly, but somehow, this one really ignites my once put out passion and love towards blogging...and so now I believe that a tool is really important to a writer! (Hee...in the olden days,  it would be the pen that is important I guess, however, during this advance science and technology, the keyboard is very crucial - well, at least to me!)

As for tonight or morning? (my clock just ticked 12.11 am), I just wanna talk about how much my KEYBOARD has influenced me to write...just for less than 15 minutes, this 3-long-paragraph essay is the outcome of it...see, how powerful it is, my KEYBOARD (err...should I give a name to it?), words and sentences just keep flowing freely without any problems and puff! here is the product...hurm, shall I celebrate this result? 

Well, I guess this could be the new beginning ...we'll see how long it lasts...hehe...and even though I have lots of other things to write, but I 'll keep it to myself at the moment for my body already sends me a warning and signs of sleep deprive (been staying up late these days to complete the files for Nazir's observation)... till then, adios!

Teacher Huda on 09/05/2014
--Had an extra class with 5T  and loved their reaction tonight! TQ! You made me feel appreciated--

as pendulum swings..and i've become emotional..

Happy that sambutan sedekad Intesaber goes on smoothly.. Enjoy the moment very much especially with The ex students who came.. However...a bit rasa terkilan felt here: Forgive me if my statement is hurtful and Wrong..but as a teacher who started my career in 2008..the batch of 2008 is Considered as my first baby..was hoping to see many of 2008 faces during the event.. But..only 1 out of so many hundreds of Them came..thank you Shamilah Hasanah for coming.. I was quite disappointed..dulu ada juga saudara Fakhruddin yg sering menjenguk kami di sini.. Tetapi i understand his situation who is studying Abroad now.. Mungkin mereka mempunyai masalah yang tidak Mampu untuk dielakkan untuk menghadirkan diri.. Tidak mengapalah..cuma sbg seorang guru mungkin Terdetik satu conclusion bahawa batch 2008 adalah Batch yg tidak begitu menyayangi Intesaber Sebagaimana batch2 yg lain.. Mereka jarang datang melawat kami di sini.. Agak berbeza dgn batch2 2009-2011 yg sangat rajin datang beramai2 sekaligus memeriahkan suasana Di bilik guru...sbg seorang guru..jujurnya..perkara ini amat dihargai walau mungkin perasaan sebenar tidak pernah dinyatakan secara terang-terangan.. Akan tetapi..terubat jua rasa terkilan di hati ini Apabila anak2 dari batch 2009, 2010 & 2011 begitu Ramai hadir memeriahkan acara ini (sekadar mengambil Batch dr thn mula mengajar shj)..as an oldie, who has started to become emotionally attached now the presence of all of you meant so much to me.. Honestly..you guys really made my day! And for that..komawo..THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! note: batch2 awal dr thn 2004, 2005, 2006 & 2007 juga ramai yg hadir kerana terdapat begitu ramai wajah2 yang kurang Familiar hadir...dan terharu juga kerana melihatkan cara mereka melayani guru-guru mereka dgn ramah walau sudah lama tidak bertemu.. Yang dikatakan terkilan ialah apabila batch 2008 hanya 1 orang sahaja wakil walaupun diketahui ramai diantara mereka yang tinggal berdekatan dalam daerah Sabak Bernam ini dan sedang bercuti.. tetapi tidak dpt menghadirkan diri...tak mengapalah.. mereka pasti punya alasan tersendiri.. Untuk pelajar2 n bekas2 pelajar yang pernah bersama dengan teacher Huda..teacher sayang kamu semua walaupun korang selalu kena marah, kutuk & denda dengan teacher.. Setiap kali ungkapan "WE LOOOVEE TEACHER" lillahita a'la bergema di penghujung kelas.. Teacher selalu menjawab "ok..have a nice day everyone" Tetapi...dalam hati sering diikuti dengan ungkapan "teacher loves u guys too.." Cuma..ianya tidak pernah terluah dengan kata2.. Keegoan seorang dewasa yang menghalang teacher dari mezahirkan perasaan itu dengan kata2.. Maka..di kesempatan ini..let me tell u.. THANK YOU INTESABERIANS..BECAUSE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WHO USED TO PASS BY MY LIFE HAS LEFT A MARK IN MY HEART THAT SHAPES AND COLOURS MY LIFE TEACHER LOVES YOU... BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOU.. I CAN STILL SURVIVE THIS WORLD OF TEACHING.. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN..

Ustaz Azhar Idrus' statement vs K-POP?

the time shows 2.42 am .. in the wee hours of the day I should have slept or done something more beneficial than being hooked up in front of this computer writing my thoughts... but again..the Internet speed is superb (UNIFI - when will u be available in Intesaber) and I just can't resist the temptation to catch up with my favourite drama for the time being Á Gentlemen's Dignity" Duh...Jang Dong Gun is in the lead cast..and still hunky and drooling even after 10 years since "All About Eve"... and I can't also refuse the opportunity of writing in this blog again after almost a long silence being put here... recently..I have been doing some intense reading that serves as an eye-opener to me..and also comes as the revealing, shocking and somehow refreshing knowledge...my faith is restored and I'm super patriotic now...well, will talk about this later; maybe in the next, separate post specifically dedicated for the topic..every single homo sapien who calls himself/herself as a Muslim Malay should read this..then think thoroughly..do discussions with friends, get second opinion from the experts and then make your own wise judgement... as for now..I am in a dilemma... as most people would have known by now I am a K-POP avid fan..everything about K-POP excites me...and seriously..I do admire those Idols and Hanguk actors/actresses - their determination to succeed..the efforts they put into their work and their passion for what they are doing... in my opinion, that's the secret for their huge, tremendous success in the entertainment world...those are the elements that I wish my beloved, bright and talented students would acquire: Determination, Continuous effort & Passion...but why can't people see this instead, rather than making the absolute conclusion that K-POP is BAD for the youth..I'm sorry..not being bias, but if you really know how the Korean entertainment industry works in producing those so well-loved idols; the system that they use, then, can't we just try to adapt, adopt or amend this system in our life so that success will belong to us - Muslims Malays? Ustaz Azhar Idrus said that K-POP itu HARAM (quote: My Mom told me this)...a statement that comes from a very respected person who is so knowledgeable in the Malaysia Muslim's world...his words put me in a dilemma... Me? A Muslim girl who is really obsessed with this? the reason I learn Hangul (able to understand little conversation by now) or went to Korea last CNY, like the Hanguk Cuisines (nay..they are 'mashinde'- delicious by the way) is because of my interest in the K-POP world...that's the serious dilemma..with the desire in wanting to be a good Muslim but at the same time can't resist the temptation to like this world...Nafsu yang perlu disekat? but again...I'm not a huge fan of the entertainment industry..I don't give a damn to Malaysian's artistes, not interested at all to monitor those Hollywood products and not able to bear the Bolloywood movies..hell no! (but I do update myself with news of Malaysia's and the world's industry for my general knowledge)...the only entertainment industry that enlightens me is K-POP/K-Drama/K-World...other than that, there is no passion at all... and knowing that Ustaz Azhar Idrus said that K-POP is HARAM...I am in a serious dilemma... teringat kembali akan artikel yang dibaca Alter Terahsia Bangsa Melayu...adakah daku sudah benar-benar terperangkap di dalam sistem Si Mata Satu? Ya Allah...bantulah hamba-Mu ini.. wallahualam... --HUDA--

hai..again..

Salam Been a long time since my last post...for quite some time, i lost the passion and the interest to write anything in here though there are abundant of issues playing through my mind all these while.. Well..been doing some intense reading recently and hoping that i will be able to share it here soon..a revealing knowledge, shocking n refreshing materials for me..insyaallah..after i have finished my work, i will start writing again..

Cortisol abundance

when life gets busy, not even a K-drama could help to release the cortisol (hormone stress)...i need to do the workout..that's the best way...it helps me a lot during times like this...but then..too many things to attend to (imagine...eveyday is filled with Jamuan..continuition from the Eid Open House! - alhamdulillah..murah rezeki)...gish..i don't even have time to do it..damn..i miss my routine so much...i miss the smelly sweat and the feeling of pushing myself to complete the tiring routines even though it is very hard...

piles of work are still manageable..but life is so disorganised if I can't do the workout.. *sigh*

life..be good to me...*jebal*

cruel to be kind

I am about to break someone's heart..feeling guilty in the process...

being cruel in order to be kind...for the good sake of everyone...

K-World Fetish Part 2

K-POP FETISH: Part B

Kim Hyun Joong

9 years ago, it was the dramas that diverted the whole world’s attention to Korea’s entertainment industry...then came Rain and Boa, followed by idol groups like TVXQ and SS501...and today, the K-POP waves have spread all over the world with their energetic dances, catchy and captivating music, adorable fashion style, amusing variety shows and entertaining entertainment programmes...today, the global phenomenon of Super Junior, B2ST, 2PM, 2AM, Girl’s Generation, KARA, U KISS, MBLAQ, CN BLUE, FT Island, 2NE1, 4 minute (and the list goes on..too many to list down) seems to be unbeatable...


And because of this huge and wide phenomenon of the Hallyu Waves, my addiction towards K-POP world continues one after another...generally, I love most of the songs by the Koreans artistes, be it Ballads, Rock or just pop...for me, those songs are just favourable, easy for the ears even though the lyrics that I can understand are only of a few common words such as “ Sarang”, “Gaseum” “Appa” “Ara” etc..

Jejaka Idaman? hehe

I love SS501, but after their last album in 2009, the members are doing separate projects individually, so, I thought that my addiction will stop there and then...nah, how wrong I was for then, CN Blue debuted with I’m a Loner...hence, I’m hooked with the web of K-POP again and again..

SS501

K-POP world is so huge...and here I would love to divide them into several categories (macam nak bagi awards plak..kekeke)...these are all based on my favouritism...(sorry to those who disagree *wink*)

• FAVE BANDS
--- > It’s CN Blue for their unique talents and taste in music...I love most of their songs...they composed, wrote and produced their own songs! Even the “Banmal” song was composed by Yong Hwa with Seo Hyun in their WGM show..how cool is that? And honestly, the song is just so nice...=)..their music alone is able to grab hold of my attention without the need to do extra like dancing in their performance...It’s just so cool to watch them playing their instrument confidently and with ease...

The talented boys of CN Blue

• FAVE IDOLS
--- > haha... this one goes without saying...they are Kim Hyun Joong (SS501) and Kim Heechul (Suju)...it seems that I like the descendant of “Kim” quite a lot...haha...as for Hyun Joong, it is his 4D unique personality – unpredictable, mysterious, blunt, witty and intelligence...the image of him with the combination of humorous and mysterious elements appeals to my taste in ‘namja’..haha...and for Heechul, he is quick and super funny! And of course, I won’t deny another important factor of liking these two is their physical appearance...Both are just so beautiful =) *Wink* cantik mengalahkan orang perempuan..adoyai..

• FAVE IDOL GROUP
--- > SS501! Well, the reason why I like these 5 boys so much is because they are just so funny together...the Tom & Jerry fight between Park Jung Min & Baby Hyung Jun brings laughter to the atmosphere while the nice Kyu Jong could be mischievous at times...the Prince, Young Saeng is the by nature the quiet one but still able to create loveable moments and with his members, Hyun Joong is his real self...You can’t never see his 100% unique 4D personality at other shows except when he is surrounded by the people that he is comfortable with...and among them are his members in SS501! =)


• FAVE SONGS
--- >there are too many to list down every one of it but the ones that keep on playing over and over again on my Vivaz Pro are:

--- > CN Blue – I’m a Loner, Intuition & L.O.V.E GIRL
--- > G.NA – Black & White and I’ll back off so You can Live
--- > SS501 – Love Ya
--- > Beast – Shock
--- > FT Island – Love Love Love
--- > Kim Hyun Joong – Thank You

Basically, my taste is more prominent towards the energetic songs that could pump up my body to dance along the music as listed above...an exception for Hyun Joong’s Thank You...this song just reminds me of the variety show We Got Married that he did with Hwang Bo...I am one of the JoongBo Believers...I think they will be great together although it was awkward in the beginning...

• FAVE MVs – Really love G.NA’s “Black & White”...the chemistry between both G.Na and Jin Woon (2AM) is so sweet...I also love the mischievous things that the girls of 4 Minute do to Jung Shin (CN Blue) in the MV “Heart to Heart”...and another one that I enjoy is Suju’s “Full of Happiness” especially the part for free hugs...hahaha...just imagine if that really happens, wow, I guess the fans would all go crazy!

The sweet chemistry between G.NA & Jin Woon in Black & White

• FAVE OSTs – No. 1’s choice is of course all the AN Jell’s songs from “You’re Beautiful”! the quadruplets are so amazing! This will be followed by Howl “Have I Told” from the drama Playful Kiss

• FAVE DANCES – for this one, Nuruddin won’t like it but I love 2PM’s ‘tukki’ (Rabbit)+shuffle dance in “I’ll Be back” MV (hehe)...the Bad Boy image in SS501 “Love Ya” is also my favourite along with Girl’s Generation famous leg line dance in “OH”

• FAVE VOICES – Yong Hwa’s (CN Blue) husky voice really turns me on! *wink* he is definitely a singer who really can sing! Plus, FT Island’s main vocalist, Lee Honggi...actually, Honggi’s voice is really unique and rare...it can’t just be found anywhere...it reminds me of my best mate, Baya’s favourite group Radja *terkenang zaman muda-mudi*...and don’t forget the powerful voices from 4 Minute & 2NE1...these 2 idol girl groups are different than the others because they focus on their voice and music rather than just dancing!

• FAVE VARIETY SHOWS – it’s OH MY SCHOOL! Love every episode of this show but the most well-liked one is the Christmas Special with Heechul in it! The Chocoball Group members are just so hilarious...=)...I also like We Got Married (Ssanghu Couple & Goguma Couple), 2 days 1 Night (oh, Lee Seunggi is really cute in it) and SS501 Idol World (old show)...

• FAVE DRAMAS – the all time favourite is “All About Eve” with Jang Dong Gun and Chea Rim as the lead cast...the rest are “Playful Kiss”, “You’re Beautiful” , “My Girl” and “Sungkyunkwan Scandal”...mostly, the main attraction is the storyline, and another factor is of course the gorgeous heroines and charming heroes! (Hehe..I guess, it’s human’s nature and also human’s fault to always like to see the beauty of everything including “saram”)

See? There are too many things to talk about K-POP world...Do you believe me if I say that I watch almost everything in KBS World including their Documentary (e.g. VJ on the Scene & Screening Humanity) just because I love almost everything about it! I just don’t watch the news – why? Because there is no subtitles and I don’t understand it...but, I believe that if I could speak Hangul, surely I’ll watch that as well....haha...

B2ST

Well...don’t misjudge me thinking that I am not patriotic towards my own beloved Malaysia! It is just that in the world of entertainment, their products are triple times better than us! I think that Malaysians artistes need to learn more from the Koreans...they are more humble, not that arrogant like some of our local artiste or Diva-like attitude of Bollywood & Hollywood actors...they work really hard to produce good TV shows and good performances... The effort that they put on makes us feel closer to their celebrity...whereas in Malaysia, we feel the distant feeling as if we can’t never reach out to them...

The truth - K-POP world is not only about human, it’s like a product, a business - that’s why their products are more likeable and selling like hot cakes in the market! And for their good quality product, they give us tremendous satisfaction and addiction! That’s why they are able to spread like a giant wave sweeping through Asia and other continents of the world...

Malaysians – learn something from them!

--- The End... ---

K-World fetish

K-POP FETISH: part A


If we read an entertainment magazines recently, there are a lot of K-POP news and articles being published...be it the local Malay entertainment mags such as HAI, Utopia, or the English ones like Galaxie and of course a magazine that feeds the addiction of the K-POP’s lovers in Malaysia, the ‘Epop’ magazine. I also read this kind of magazine just to satisfy my obsession towards K-POP artistes even though the language used is horrible and funny! I bet all the BM teachers will cry their heart out and faint if they read this mags (Hahaha)...erm, the point that I’m trying to write here is that how I can bear with the bad use of Malay Language written in the mags with its’ funny and awkward phrases and LOTS of spelling errors...I, the person who is very particular with language use, grammar and structures can BEAR all those eye sores just because of the contents presented in it are more appealing to me than those errors...imagine, that is the level of my fetish towards the K-POP world...unbelievable and unstoppable; those are the only words that can describe the phenomenon of K-POP wave that had affected me, my housemate and some of my students (ngee..I have company!)...the Hallyu wave is just like a plague in today’s Asia entertainment industry and it certainly is like a virus that is very difficult to cure in me..

winter sonata - the drama that started it all..

It all started with the first and foremost K-Drama in 2002 entitled “Winter Sonata”, produced by KBS. Bae Yong Jun (as Kang Jung Sang) and Choi Ji Woo (as Yoo Jin), were the main leads...they were so gorgeous that it dropped my jaw (literally) watching them acting the lovely scenes in the drama...plus, their acting skill was so convincing that it felt real to the audience...I cried so many times throughout the drama...and the bonus is the OST of it are so touching...I was only 18 at that time...and I remembered me roaming the shops at Kota Raya and Petaling Street just to buy the VCD box set and the soundtrack... and it was so costly at that time, priced at RM 99.90 per box set and another RM 19.90 for the soundtrack...half of my monthly allowance was gone just like that...

all about eve - the all time favourite

MY Girl - the one I used to be hooked in front of my lappy




dalja & taebong - the one that rekindled everything...

After “Winter Sonata”, there were a few other interesting dramas that hooked me up in front of the idiot box almost everyday...”All About Eve” (this is my all time favourite!), “Hotelier”, “Autumn In My Heart” “Stairway to Heaven” etc...then, the addiction stopped for a while after I went abroad until “My Girl”, “Full House” and “My Lovely Samsoon” came in...it continued for a year but after I started my career in SBPISB, I was too busy with my new world that I lost the passion for a while...even during the fever of “Boys Over Flower” that took over the whole Asia in 2009, I wasn’t really aware about it...until my colleagues Kak Mas & Kak Norah suggested that I watch “Dalja’s Spring” in the middle of 2010 followed by “Sungkyunkwan Scandal” and “Fugitive; Plan B” with hunky Rain and in it...these two dramas were aired in October 2010. Even though I don’t really like the action-spy story like the Fugitive; Plan B, but I figured out that K-Dramas have evolved a lot in their storylines...It has become more international, more sophisticated...it does not really focus on love anymore... Lots of new elements have been induced such as humour and sophistication...however...there is no more portrayal of innocent and pure love... some of them are even more bold with obscene and elaborate kissing scenes...

definitely, the historical fave =)

All in all, the K-Dramas are still enjoyable to watch...I still cry and I still feel the feeling of being stab right through my heart when it comes to sad scenes...and I believe that the addiction will continue so long as they produce good dramas...

--- To be continued --

gasumi apa mamolla 2011

I am tired (driving for 4 hours has become so tiring nowadays – guess that I’m getting old already..huhu)..I am sleepy...my eyes are puffy...seriously, signs of dark circles are already appearing little by little around my eyes...gosh, I am exhausted...work...work...work...unfinished works..these words have become my chants these days...there are too many things that need my attention yet it seems that I can’t finish them all...one after another...those works keep on compiling on my desk and I don’t have extra hours to work on them... I wish there is more than 24 hours in a day...after all the hard work of preparing the examination papers plus arranging the schedules for invigilation with so many amendments to deal with (with SBT & Volleyball tournament in between), now come the marking part...honestly, I love marking essays especially when it comes to reading students’ ideas...some are really awesome, some are just hilarious and there are some that are just ridiculous...all in all, it is fun!


However, nowadays, I am in no mood to mark any of it since I am too tired and also, I am worried about certain unfinished works on my desk...regardless, I still take a day off on Monday (16th May – Happy Teachers’ Day to all teachers out there! It is our day! Yuhuu..) just because I want to have REVENGE! A revenge for not being able to sleep properly since last few weeks, a revenge for not being able to be online and keeping in touch with the world for quite some time and a revenge for not being able to fully satisfy my addiction in K-dramas! It seems that I can’t fulfil my personal interest due to the demanding duty as a teacher...opps...did I ever mention that Aspuri is in really chaotic situation with the girls are being stubborn & taking advantages of our leniency given to them recently? It is because we (me & my housemate) are too tired to even monitor their activities...in some ways, yeah, I have neglected my duty as a warden...please...I am yearning for my personal life that is not related to school, books and students! Give me a break! And after so many months, this is the first time that I could go back home...and for that, I am grateful...


The only personal thing that I can do all this while is my nightly routine – jogging! This is the only time that I can fully indulge myself doing my personal thing...running around the school with my Vivaz Pro blasting energetic music from Beast, CN Blue, G-na, SS501 etc. keeps me being sane for a while...even if it means only an hour a day for my personal time...that’s the only thing that keeps me going, energizing my spirit while I can’t indulge myself in other things that I like...Sometimes, I feel like I am not appreciating myself enough...I don’t love myself enough...because I keep on putting other things as my priority rather than having fun for myself...work and students have always come as my no.1 priority, I am putting them on the top of my must-care list that I often neglect my family...I stay in the hostel weeks after weeks if other wardens need to go away for their personal business that I sacrifice my time with my family...I didn’t go back to see my mom and grandma for months...it is all because of my dearest students *sigh*... there are times when I can’t even sleep soundly at nights because the students are practicing things, thus making so much noise that I would wake up abruptly from my deep slumber dream...this situation too, leads to severe headache in the morning and causing fatigue during the day...yet, I still find the situation bearable...I am coping with it...however, when students are not being appreciative and “mengambil kesempatan”, now my patience is being tested at its’ highest limit...I am like a time-bomb, waiting to explode anytime soon...it is within a matter of time before I really drop the bomb. For now, I am still waiting...unlike the Aspura when the wardens already dropped their temper...for Aspuri...BEWARE!!...You have been warned!!


Oh yeah...this stressful state of affairs has become worse since I lost my passion and enjoyable moments interacting with the students in class...this has become a plague for me this year (2011)...honestly, I haven’t found the lost passion yet since the beginning of the year and I am struggling with it now...I need to find those fire burning desire that used to flame inside of me whenever I think of the students...it seems that the blazing fire has cooled off to be the charcoal...what’s wrong with me? I guess, it is because 2010 was the greatest, happiest and easiest year for me that now, when a harsh stone is being thrown up at me; I am stuck against the wall...2011 is surely a challenging life for me as an educator...everything doesn’t go according to my plan...every time I go inside a class, it feels like I am conducting an experiment, I am anticipating the uncertainty of how the result of the experiment will turn out...and sad to say, up until this moment, most of my experiments failed...the only mode of teaching that works really well is MAFIA games... and time is running out...I need to find the best solution ASAP if I want to work my magic again for 2011 SPM result...indeed, 2011 needs to be better than 2010! Ganbate Huda-san! Fighting!

Ok...enough with all the grumbles, whining and complaints...

It’s time to work out your magic again...

But before that...calm your mind, smile brightly, enjoy your off days...focus on your goals:
---> KOREA 2012 Trip! *big grin...big grin...big grin* (Cik Yam, can't wait to travel with u just like the old times again!)

---> the GG’s leg line dance...hahaha...NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Huda Unnie – You shouldn’t complaint much, shouldn’t frown too much...if not, your wrinkles will show, your dark circles will be visible like Panda’s eyes, the zits will appear like boils and you are going to be OLD before time....27 will look like 33! OMG, if that happens...then it is D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R! Save yourself!... noel saranghae...=)

As a part of my plan for revamping my look, rejuvenating my spirit and reviving my passion...I am going for 2AM’s showcase! A self-reward for the stressful works! Hehehe...now, I am SMILING widely... Gosh.. I am truly addicted to K-POP! seriously severely crazy...haha

Written by Huda,
@ 10.30pm (13/05/2011)
A loyal Boice and Triple S
(in the mood of CN Blue’s - Intuition)

happy teachers' day in advance to all teachers out there!

mirror..mirror..hanging on the wall...

I have...

been having weird dreams recently...is it due to lack of rest (yeah...been so tired, never have proper rest since last school break)...

been feeling something strong lately...is 2011 going to make my dreams come true?

got to know something just now...confirming my anticipating news...

sharing the news with my collegue...and feeling happy for no solid reason...

reminiscing old memories...remembering an old flame...springing up hope...

gosh...bilakah penantian ini bakal berakhir??

Intesaber

though the condition is not really well with cracked buildings here and there, feeling as if I am risking my life everytime I come here..You still give me the joyous feelings even though the location is far away from my favourite city in the world, the glorious Kuala Lumpur and even more far away from the lovely hometown of Penang, my presence here is still cherished by many.. although You lack of many things, You also Give many things.. You show me... You give me.. the friends that add genuine joy in life are super fun & understanding in terms of collaboration, team work and also in sharing feelings..(gossipping? opps...haha..) and for that, I am glad.. (dedicated to all teachers in Intesaber) the students who sometimes give the pride and happiness..who always made my days in many events are inspiring and encouraging..supplying me withe the endless energy to keep on running towards the end line..and for that, I am so thankful.. (dedicated to all people who think of Intesaberians as their home & family) there are also students who hate me so much that they refuse to even smile or galnce at my directions...I know that they are hurt whenever I am being harsh with them...and for that, I am sorry for there are times that I couldn't even control my emotions..these people too, teach me things that I never experience before.. there are people who teach me that working hard is part and parcel of life..in the midst of hardship, we should strive to make things work the way we want...never compromise to the harsh world that could make us feel bad (dedicated to Pai and all Pekerja Pembersihan that really work hard to esnure that Intesaber will always look beautiful..) and the people who always give us tasty, great and delicious food..awesome is the only word that could describe it..loving each dish since my first day here.. (dedicated to all pekerja DM yang best) and to those who are related to Intesaber..believe me, You are blessed! =)

the overwhelming happiness

SPM result for the year 2010 is already out yesterday...

Seeing the familiar figures of the ex-form 5 students who were wandering around the school compound with the look of eagerness, excitement & nervous written all over their faces, I felt the feeling of overflowing happiness and contentment...for some reasons, I also felt nervous..it is odd, but that's the truth..(maybe my feelings are clouded by my own affection towards the 2010 batch, especially the 5 Hidayah peeps! =)

When I was in the class teaching grammar to 5 Maghfirah students, I was restless...30 minutes lesson seemed to be dragging..it seemed to take longer than it used to be..I wanted everything to end so fast so that I could be in the DIK with those ex-students, to know their results...

The moment that I had been waiting for, came at last..I met Akhiar and Paan by chance at the canteen and we had a little chat about their life at the moment..and I could never forget Akhiar's story about being fired from his job as a tuition teacher AND arguing with the principal himself for about an hour defending yousrelf! haha..Akhiar, you sure do have the nerve and courage to put up with your rights!..bravo..err..!remind me never to mess with you..haha..*wink*

Joy - that's the first emotion that I felt after brwosing through the result of 5 Hidayah for English..out of 32 students, only 1 scored B+..the rest is great history ! 31 scored A-, A and A+! What a joyful day! and the good feeling continues as we (the English teachers) discovered this result:

A+ = 26 students

A = 66 students

A- = 31 students

B+ = 11 students

B = 3 students

and the ranking forEnglish subject? no. 14/ 58! The first time ever we chart into top 15! We break our leg! We were ranked 30/ 58 for SPM 2009 while in 2008, we were the LAST in SBP level!...Can you imagine my happiness? and, for the first time in the record track, we've got no C ! what a relief and what a double, triple joy! ..

I love this feeling! I even shouted and jumped happily, dancing myself around the Bilik Guru, looking at the result! People could notice that I was smiling so wide all day long till my jaw hurt because of this overwhelming happiness...even when I jogged with Kak Mas that night, I couldn't stop this overflowing feeling of joy, that I even can't stop running and jumping happily all the way...and the weather was nice, with gentle breeze as if the surrounding is also celebrating my feeling as well..*smiling..smiling..smiling*

Indeed..these feelings are the reason why I love being a teacher! As a teacher, a reward or presents are just a bonus, but the success of the students are the real Rewards of all..the best gift ever!

untuk anak-anak didik sayang, YOU MUST KNOW THAT a happiness to a teacher is not the Gifts you give us (even though we will feel happy receiving those persents)...a happiness is your success and your good attitude that you show us...

I, personally will feel just so happy and overwhelm when I receive a simple text message from you asking me things (even sometimes the things that you ask are just the petty matters, but I love it - honestly!) or even just to wish me Happy Teachers' Day or Happy Birthday! It is the act of not forgetting me as your teacher by keeping in touch that matters, not the presents that you give me (although Thank You Zalikha for the chocolate - my fave flavour! and to Syazana Afiqah as well for the yummy Kerepek Kapal Terbang! Thanks a LOT!)

Your happiness is OUR happiness..=)

this is indeed...THE BEST GIFT OF the year 2010!

the thrill of life

The trip to Phuket last November was memorable and fun even it was not the well-planned trip...Me and my friends (Kak Sally, Kak Norin & Yani) gambled everything since we did not pre-book the tours before landing ourselves at Phuket International Airport.

~~ Kai Island ~~

~~ We are in the famous Thailand's Tuk Tuk~~

It started badly since I caught a nasty cold, high fever and extreme sore throat on the 1st day. I couldn't enjoy the food very well, I was too caught up with fatigue and my head was about to explode...but I dragged myself along.. I was living on the mercy of extra dose of Panadol and Paracetamol..

~~ on the boat to Maya Bay ~~

But hey, something that started off badly didn't always end badly as well...For one, my eyes were blinded by the sight of so many beautiful and blinking gems at the largest gem factory ever in Asia! I couldn't resist the temptation of owning one of the rings displayed there..thus, I bought myself a lovely Black Sapphire Stars with Zirconian stones..the amazing thing is, it costs me only THB 1300! (equal to RM130)

~~ Karon View Point ~~

Cashew Nuts Factory

After splashing money at the gem factory, I was about to experience another event that makes a difference in my life! The Bungy Jumping! Ever since I was in NZ, I was always so excited at the thought of trying those adrenaline rush activities..I had done the jet boating, zorbing and the swing but never had the opportunity to jump from a high cliff (or in this case - crane) to experience one of the most thrilled (and dangerous) activities in the world! well..the adrenaline rush wasn't that good since I was shaking and trembling during the whole process of tying up my feet and risking my life on a piece of thick rope...whoa! what an experience...the funny thing is, I saw Yani did it first and I went for 2nd, and after watching it..I was tremendousky nervous that I even left a will (sort of) to Kak Salina, to tell my mom that if I died, she would have to claim some amount of money from my insurance company! Haha...so much for a bungy jump!

selepas aktiviti ala-ala bunuh diri bungy!

that's the smile of satisfaction with our certificates to prove to the world that we actually did it! hehe..

I did it! Yeay!



different types of bungy jump that u can do here..

well...everything that is risky has always had the after effects...so did we..it turns out that bungy jump is not really good for the body because of the impact that we experience while jumping and bouncing off the ropes...Yani had gum bleeding and something went wrong with her eyes capiliry and I had body ache all over..plus, it made my fever shot up high! All day long after the bungy, there was very little energy left for me to endure another half day activties...while shopping at Cashew Nut Factory, I had to sit down and wait for my friends...I couldn't enjoy the different flavours of cashew nut ( what a waste!), and I had bought only two packets of it..(duit dah habis + takde tenaga dah nak berjalan)

the 2nd day, we went to Phi Phi Island cruise tour (snorkelling, swimming & shopping!) for the whole day..Honestly, Malaysia's treasures of sea creatures and coral reef are so much more beautiful than Phuket..Redang Island is 100% better than Maya Bay/ Kai Island...even the water taste different! The Andaman Phuket's sea is triple saltier and more concerntrated than our Malacca Strait or South China Sea...I even got virus infection in my throat after coming back from Phuket..and I had to use crystal to cure the infection since it was really bad..I lost my voice completely for a week..and now I know how it felt to be a mute person..had to use body language all the time..hehe..

the 3rd day was even better - we went to James Bond Island...it was beautiful..the island was named James Bond because it had been the location of the 2 Bond movies...by the way, Maya Bay had also been a location for the movie entitled "The Beach" starring Leonardo De Caprio..we were the only Muslims on the boat among the tourists!..The good memory of this day was we met Uncle Boo and Irene, the old couple from Sweden..we even promoted Malaysia to them! they were so nice and they always wondered how could we wear full clothes while swimming and canoeing since most of them were wearing swimming suit/ bikini..well..that's the good thing of travelling, right? Dakwah secara tidak langsung...hehe...

The trip came to an end when we had to head our way to the airport to catch our flight back home..we arrived at LCCT at 11.45pm...and the journey was really memorable despite the early challenges..bye bye Phuket..

commitment freak?

takutnya bila fikir soal jodoh...

benar, itu yang terpahat dalam fikiran saat orang bertanyakan perihal teman hidup...mungkin sebab itulah istilah pernah bercinta atau ada pakwe tak pernah ada dalam diari kehidupan ini hatta walau ketika begitu gembira melayari kehidupan sebagai pelajar di rantauan...pernah jatuh cinta itu benar, ianya pernah terjadi dalam kehidupan...akan tetapi perasaan yang hadir ketika itu tidak pernah terluah pada empunya diri, lantas pendekatan mendiamkan diri sering diambil..bukan apa, kita ni bukanlah cantik meletup ala-ala pelakon sinetron Indonesia gitu (sedar diri nih..), jadi perasaan takut ditolak atau istilah kena 'reject' tue lebih menguasai dan tidak sanggup pula untuk menahan rasa malu kalau benar di'reject' oleh si empunya diri...maka, perasaan itu hanya diketahui oleh teman-teman rapat sahaja (Ummi, Baya, Aida, CikYam)..tidak terluah dan hanya mencintai dari jauh...

makanya, sampai saat ini pun tidak pernah sekali pun ada 'boyfriend'...memang ada yang ingin tolong jadi telangkai, memperkenalkan kepada calon-calon yang sesuai..tetapi saat perkara ini dinyatakan, perasaan takut sangat menguasai diri...kalau orang lain mungkin excited, tetapi diri ini lebih kepada takut & suspicious...alkisahnya sehingga kini masih sendiri & memegang title 'miss'

tapi diri ini tak kisah pun..sebab sangat yakin pada janji & ketentuan Allah SWT...andai ada jodohnya, maka pasti akan berjumpa dengan soul mate yang sehati sejiwa dan hidup bahagia selamanya..insyaallah...

cuma, ketika ini, saat ini, sewaktu ada yang ingin serius berkenalan, ntahlah..hati seperti tertutup...tiada sebarang perasaan excited atau gembira..malah, takut pula yang menguasai diri..makanya, (wondering nih..) am i a commitment freak? takutnya untuk melukai hati manusia lain dan takut juga dikatakan tidak bersyukur atas nikmat pemberian Tuhan...

-- dilema seorang anak gadis yang tersepit antara kehendak sendiri dan permintaan orang sekeliling...takut dikatakan terlalu memilih dan tidak tahu bersyukur..tetapi, suara hati ini berkata, salahkah jika kita memilih? *sigh*

when it will be my joyful day?

i am a mess...

i miss my holidays, form 5 students who already left the school and i am in great dilemma

i can't get myself, my mind and my heart straight & focus...

my heart is stubborn, arrogant and conceited...

i expect too much, i want the best yet i don't really deserve all that (even if i'm working hard to make myself deserve that)

i want great things, perfect life yet I am far from being perfect...

i am choosy, haughty and proud

i am indeed egoistics and ungrateful...

Fantasy is so cool that I refuse to wake up from the dream...

am i allowed to be forever in dream, and never come around to reality?

I just want something like JGS & PSH, or JT & XJ...can't I have it in reality?

adios...

i am missing SBPISB right now...

and more so...missing the Form 5 2010 students who already finished their high school officially last Monday (5 syakirah) --- honestly, when all of u are gone, life moves on...but still, there will be something missing in my days...and honestly, I'm going to miss 5 Hidayah a lot! and I'll be missing the moments when I passed through all the form 5 classes on my way to Bilik Guru with deafening noise from them...plus, sometimes, the cheeky greetings from the lot like Azam, Asyiq, Afiq Tapa and the list goes on (few examples given - couldn't possibly list out the whole names..)..

it will be the same when I miss the 5 Rahmah 2009 peeps like Azem, Syafiq Affandi, Ummi, Ariff, Afham...(just to name a few) and also the 5 Syakirah 2008 (those pirates - they called themselves that) with Hakim, Syapeq Z, Nad, Atin, Jijol, Awan etc...

the truth, everytime when the Form 5 students were about to leave the school, I couldn't hold back the gloomy feelings whenever I see them...somehow, in some ways, I'm gonna miss them a lot because they are a part of my wonderful life...they made my days in every aspects possible - bad 'tudung' days, mad days, busy days, hungry days and LAUGHTER and HAPPY DAYS!!!

and this year, it's the 5 Hidayah that I will miss the most (not to be biased, but I've been with them for TWO Great years to be compared with other classes)...but I will also miss 5 Rahmah and 5 Maghfirah because they taught me many things even though my times spent with them were short...and I'll definitely miss 5 Taufiq and 5 Syakirah peeps as well based on their personal attributes...

one thing for sure, they are all great dudes and gals because they are SBPISB students and they are parts and pieces of my life..

and I wish them all the best in everything they do...please do take care.

adios, sayonara, goodbye, so long, farewell...til we meet again..

when I am not so occupied...

life as you see it...

when you've got too much times in your hands

and you've got to laze around

developing yourself as a couch potato

ah..you've been blessed

with blissful life..

yet, I am not the one

who is content

to just do nothing

when there should be something

that could be beneficial

out there

something that I could really treasure

indulging myself

devoting my talent

expanding my potential

spreading the goodness

to the universe

uhuks....boringnya cuti panjang..when I was too occupied with loads of things, I grumbled...when I've got tonnes of work, I complaint...yet, when I've got too much free time...I still complaint! am I being ungrateful?

honestly, two weeks of free, leisure time is enough for me...otherwise, I'll turn to be dumb...

as a result of my current state, I have finished watching Syungkyunkwan Scandal - my latest addiction on Korean drama and already rewinding the animax Prince of Tennis (of which, I have seen for countless times --> those Seigaku regulars *Ryoma-kun, Tezuka-kun, Fuji-kun, Momo-kun, Kaidoh-kun, Oishi-kun, Inui-kun, Eiji-kun, Takashi-kun*)

and the obvious one should be this - updating my blog at 2.15 in the morning while everyone else is sleeping soundly..fuh! what a life...

still...this is the life that I love and treasure so much...Thank You Allah...I will learn to appreciate things as they are..

*Peace*