Sunday, January 31, 2010



at first, i wonder does eveyrone know what is the exact definition for this compound word? it really is a compound word? even though i have a little bit of the linguistics knowledge, truthfully...i do not know the definition of this word...

literally...i would interpret this word as "berhenti...dan kehilangan"...well, since i am a Malay, i have the tendency to translate any English words that are NOT common into my mother tongue because it is easy to do direct Malay translation rather than interpreting it as a word of Queens language..

later i asked my friend (Kak Norin) and my KP (Ketua Panitia aka Head of English Panel, Sir Musa):

i said...."hah...apa maksud stop-loss?"

"hah?..stop-loss? err..apa tue?" ---> Sir Musa's response.

"itu tajuk movie, betul kan?" that's Kak Norin's answer

yup..Kak Norin was right..indeed, it is a title of a movie...and INDEED, this movie does give a lot of information about the situation that is related to "STOP-LOSS"...and as i have watched the entire movie, now i know the concept of stop-loss...

indeed, my wild guess and direct translation of the word into the Malay language was partly correct...literally, it is related to "berhenti..dan kehilangan" because that is the situation of the people who were forced to be involved in the stop-loss " torture event"...the people who are involved in the stop-loss situation are lost indeed...they are suffering horrendous effects from many aspects of life especially the emotional development..they are having hallucination, where many of them are behaving abnormally, thinking that they are still in a war and some also had terrible nightmares...

according to the Wikipedia definition,

stop-loss policy in the US Military term is the involuntary extension of a service member's active duty under the enlistment of contract in order to retain them beyond their initial end of term of service (ETS) date.

in other words, it means the American soldiers are forced to go back to the war zone countries (e.g. Iraq & Afghanistan) after their official time as soldier in those countries are over...they came back home for a while and then, were forced to go back...truthfully, many of them disagreed with the order...they refused to go go back into the battlefield ground...

why do these people refused and there were some of them who rebelled against it? apart from the fact that living in the war zone countries is not something that normal people would enjoy, it is because they already know the truth...the bitter fact of reality is - there is NO WAR...the US government only 'created' the war because of their inferiority and insecurity...after the attack of September 11 (2001), they are afraid that their country will be attacked again...thus, they launched "war of terror" as a part of their effort to protect their people (so they said..)...

some of these soldiers volunteered to go to the battlefield in the first place, convincing themselves that they are actually defending their country and their people...but what is there to fight as there is no real war in the context of military? these places (Iraq, Afghanistan), there is only a man trying to protect his family from strangers, a mother struggling to keep her family together, and maybe there is only an innocent son trying to help his father taking care of the family from being hurt by those 'green aliens' in tanks...

now...where is their legal right to live as a normal human being if it is being jeopardised by these so-called "the peace maker?" who invaded their country, testing all new weapons on their land & killing the innocent lives of the country's future generation?

these people...these Muslims rebelled when they are being oprressed..when they cannot work to put food on their table, when their children have deal with 'blind' bullets everyday, when their family cannot sleep peacefully at nights...

as for me, these Americans are arrogant - they think so highly of themselves, they think that they are the GREATEST ONES...if they are truly THAT great and THAT strong, why would they fear of something that is not visible? Why should they be afraid of weak countries like Iran, Iraq & Afghanistan? what do these countries have? they only have the spirit of Jihad among its citizens, ready to die for their belief...they have no powerful weapons, no complicated f4 jet fighters or the B-series of nuclear bombs (e.g. B43, B61 & B83) and so my opinion, the spirit of Jihad among the Muslims is the most powerful weapons of all...because it is this spirit that will ignite the flame of fighting towards the end, dying with honour & never give up...SYAHID... it worth it? some of the unlucky US armies, they refused the order thus, they have to run for their life...running away from their loved ones, from familiar faces as a way to keep alive..they have to give up everything about their former life...they change their identity, change their appearance it fair to do all these to them?

or the bigger question it fair to have war when there is nothing to fight for? is it worth when the casualties are high and the loss are great...when most of the victims are all innocent?

the Muslims out there...please wake up....rise up to the challenge to help our sisters and brothers in need out there...

semoga suatu waktu nanti akan tertegak kembali sistem khalifah...semoga akan berakhirnya kekacuan dunia hari ini dan bersinar teranglah cahaya keimanan & Islam ke serata alam bumi ini...

i am just a weak, powerless, ordinary Muslim who really loves her religion & country but could do nothing much about it except praying for the bless of Allah SWT...may all of us be under HIS protection, berkah, rahmah & hidayah-Nya...amin...

reference: Stop-loss (2008 movie - starring Ryan Phillippe as Sergeant Brandon King with Channing Tatum as Sergeant Steve Shriver)

another good movie to watch is "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas" (2008) - watch for knowledge purpose only and judge wisely..

Sunday, January 24, 2010

...I LOVE YOU...

once upon a time, the thought of standing in front of a pool of talented yet reckless teenagers with turbulence emotions was a nightmare to me...what else, becoming their "cikgu" / teacher / sensei etc...

that was the situation years or maybe decades ago...when i was a teenager myself - a high school student with own isuues at that time..the idea of becoming a teacher was so outrageous to me no matter how my brain rationalised me..

hey..who would want to be a teacher? the last resort career perhaps...a teacher? never the famous, glamourous, posh & ideal profession to me...

that was back in the early era of millennium is completely a different story...Apart from being an adventurous species i am (as it is the nature born genes)...

TEACHING now is my passion - something that i really LOVE , ENJOY doing it all the time (if possible)..the satisfaction is tremendous, indescribable and it left me emotionally spent...

a teacher - is not merely about teaching, delivering lesson but at some times he/she has to be:

** actors (in covering up their true emotions while teaching even if they are hurt/happy/sad for the sake of the students)..

** a spy / police (when investigating & handling a discipline case)

** clerk (when all the clerical tasks need their attention)

** lawyer (when defending their acts & facts with parents/students when a problem occurs)

** sports coach (standing at the fields under the hot sun, training the students for a competition)

** motivator (in giving encouragement & motivations words for theirspiritual & emotional development)

** engineer + landscape architect (when we have to decorate the garden to beautify the school)

in conclusion...teachers are everything...nonetheless, i'm not complaining though at times the workload is horrendous and too much (to the point that i thought we were slaves-insufficient wages as compared to the hours we worked) is all because of THE SAVIOURS of my life..

every year, there will always be students that would be "the heroes & heroines of my life"...these kids (i always refer to them as kids - for its sounds adorable & friendlier) are my saviours...they are my private knights in shining armour who are rescuing the damsel in distress [that's ME!! ] (O^O) ...they save me in many situations:

whenever i feel down, they cheer me up with the melody of their laugh,
teasing me till my eyes tears
whenever i feel bored, they feed me up with their comical facial expressions,
hillarious actions, spontaneous responses and
quirky shows of behaviour
whenever i am angry, they cool me down with their playful,
mischievous spirit until the crack of smiles
appear on my face
whenever i feel ecstatic, happy, overwhelm..
they will share the joy with me..
making me feel appreciated and loved..
apparently, these saviours have paramount impact in my life..
and for that reason,
thank you..
without the presence of all of you, my life would be dull, boring..without all of you, my life is just another passing stage before the Dooms Day...but with all of you, life is a meaningful battlefield to conquer, a worthy farm to sow good seeds, and harvesting the ripe fruits in the after life...because of you, this is a blissful life..
and for this bliss, there is no regret at all in becoming a TEACHER
*** a tribute to all my BELOVED students (though i am "singa garang" who always tortures you, yells at you, pinches you...but the truth is, i love all of you...)

Monday, January 11, 2010

the obession

the obesssion continues after a moment of break...due to my duty and responsibilty, i had to stop this fettish for a hands were tight before this but since i am free now, i'll enjoy every moment of fantasy land with Jing Tian (Hu Ge) & Xue Jian (Yang Mi) from Chinese Paladin 3...

the end of 2009 marked the new beginning of my fettish towards the story, Chinese Paladin 3 (aka CP 3)...i have always had this "love" towards the cantonese dramas produced by TVB or anything from the East (Koreans, Japanese & Taiwanese included) since i was a little girl..but my favourite of all are Wuxia & Epics stories (well..i am a history freak)..i still remember the story of Legend of Condor Hero (starring Richie Ren as Yang Guo) when i was 16...or My Fair Princess 1,2,3 (MFP 1 is now being aired on NTV 7 @ 2.30pm weekdays), Gentle Crackdown , Wong Fei Hong, Journey To the West or simply The Good Old Days...

this craze has been with me for a long time...there was a time when i stopped myself from seeing these dramas because there were no good dramas those few years back (when i was in college)...however, this craze emerged again after watching the first few episodes of CP 3...i was hooked on TV practically everyday and i even downloaded it from the net (sadly enough, i've got only 12 eps. with Eng. subs)..

the great thing is, i can share my fettish with my former colleagues Kak Nad & Kak G-Ha...(wish you guys all the best in Tapah)..they are all very much in love with CP 3 as well particularly Jing Tian & Xu Chang Qing...*wink*

i wish...i could have the waiting for the DVD version of it with English subs...

well...PENANTIAN ITU SATU PENYEKSAAN...indeed, it is true

Sunday, January 10, 2010


finally the battle ends...(fuh..i'm heaving a big sigh)

tomorrow is the day for the last battle of 2009...(so happy)...that means after this, i'll be able to saviour every moment of surfing the internet without feeling guilty, or watching my favourite Chinese Paladin 3 series without worries..hehe... the day for the new Form 1 students to register in our school...watching their timid faces & still reminded me of my own "nightmare" hostel life 13 years matter however scary that feeling was, it is still the moments of joy that made me who am i today..

another moment that i really love about registration is observing the faces of proud parents...their excitement and thankful expressions are clearly drawn on their faces...something that me, myself feel proud and touched...nonetheless, there are also parents with cynical and sceptical attitude...hoping that everything in this boarding school would be FOC (free-of-charge)...*another sigh*

i understand that it is normal to have the Yin and Yang elements in life (i.e. +ve and -ve)..but, come to think of it rationally, aren't we living in the world of "modernisation" where everything that we do need payment..even if we want to pee, we still have to pay, rite? luckily the oxygen that we breathe in now is God's gift - we don't have to pay for that. (syukur..syukur yg teramat sangat...)

yeah...we've been living on government's subsidies too much until we seem to be unable to stand on our own feet...sorry, i don't mean to condemn on the Malays attitude for i am a Malay too...but, the mentality of depending too much on the government has to be wiped out from our mind...we have to be independent...we should not ask too much help from others...

yeah..maybe it is because i am still single, with no responsibility to hold and maybe it is because i have a smooth-sailing life since i was small (grateful to Allah for this situation), thus making me think like this..i am sorry...but i've always believed that life isn't always easy and for that reason, we have to be ready all the time...

for some parents - they thought that sending off their child to a fully residential school needs no money to wrong they is essential in today's life...therefore, when they register their child here, it means that they have to be well prepared - mentally & most importantly financially...their child's neccessities, the school fees, pocket money and so on...if we calculate the expenditure, the amount is equal to the daily school (where parents have to pay for the tuition classes, transportation etc)..isn't it just the same?

i'm still single...but i thought that raising a child does need a lot of sacrifices from parents - be it physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially...(and for these reasons, THANK YOU MOM & DAD for being patient in raising me up and coping with my outrageous behaviour)

and a reminder to me and all adults out there:

**** we have to be financially independent - be it you invest your money in properties & you become a millionaiire or if you are the employed worker, you have to be frugal or the other alternative is get married with rich people! (haha..just kiddin')..whatever it takes, be financially secured (of course, according to the Islamic conduct & ethics)

as what i have always believed, conquering the world of economy could enable us to conquer the world...

and insyaallah..we'll be the great Muslims & Muslimah

**recommendation - a good book to read is "Stop acting rich & start living like a real millionaire" by Dr. Thomas J. Stanley.

the wise one

an ordinary teacher teaches.. a good teacher demonstrates.. a great teacher inspires..

the world is like a book...those who don't travel read only one page..
~~St. Augustine ~~