I am tired (driving for 4 hours has become so tiring nowadays – guess that I’m getting old already..huhu)..I am sleepy...my eyes are puffy...seriously, signs of dark circles are already appearing little by little around my eyes...gosh, I am exhausted...work...work...work...unfinished works..these words have become my chants these days...there are too many things that need my attention yet it seems that I can’t finish them all...one after another...those works keep on compiling on my desk and I don’t have extra hours to work on them... I wish there is more than 24 hours in a day...after all the hard work of preparing the examination papers plus arranging the schedules for invigilation with so many amendments to deal with (with SBT & Volleyball tournament in between), now come the marking part...honestly, I love marking essays especially when it comes to reading students’ ideas...some are really awesome, some are just hilarious and there are some that are just ridiculous...all in all, it is fun!
However, nowadays, I am in no mood to mark any of it since I am too tired and also, I am worried about certain unfinished works on my desk...regardless, I still take a day off on Monday (16th May – Happy Teachers’ Day to all teachers out there! It is our day! Yuhuu..) just because I want to have REVENGE! A revenge for not being able to sleep properly since last few weeks, a revenge for not being able to be online and keeping in touch with the world for quite some time and a revenge for not being able to fully satisfy my addiction in K-dramas! It seems that I can’t fulfil my personal interest due to the demanding duty as a teacher...opps...did I ever mention that Aspuri is in really chaotic situation with the girls are being stubborn & taking advantages of our leniency given to them recently? It is because we (me & my housemate) are too tired to even monitor their activities...in some ways, yeah, I have neglected my duty as a warden...please...I am yearning for my personal life that is not related to school, books and students! Give me a break! And after so many months, this is the first time that I could go back home...and for that, I am grateful...
The only personal thing that I can do all this while is my nightly routine – jogging! This is the only time that I can fully indulge myself doing my personal thing...running around the school with my Vivaz Pro blasting energetic music from Beast, CN Blue, G-na, SS501 etc. keeps me being sane for a while...even if it means only an hour a day for my personal time...that’s the only thing that keeps me going, energizing my spirit while I can’t indulge myself in other things that I like...Sometimes, I feel like I am not appreciating myself enough...I don’t love myself enough...because I keep on putting other things as my priority rather than having fun for myself...work and students have always come as my no.1 priority, I am putting them on the top of my must-care list that I often neglect my family...I stay in the hostel weeks after weeks if other wardens need to go away for their personal business that I sacrifice my time with my family...I didn’t go back to see my mom and grandma for months...it is all because of my dearest students *sigh*... there are times when I can’t even sleep soundly at nights because the students are practicing things, thus making so much noise that I would wake up abruptly from my deep slumber dream...this situation too, leads to severe headache in the morning and causing fatigue during the day...yet, I still find the situation bearable...I am coping with it...however, when students are not being appreciative and “mengambil kesempatan”, now my patience is being tested at its’ highest limit...I am like a time-bomb, waiting to explode anytime soon...it is within a matter of time before I really drop the bomb. For now, I am still waiting...unlike the Aspura when the wardens already dropped their temper...for Aspuri...BEWARE!!...You have been warned!!
Oh yeah...this stressful state of affairs has become worse since I lost my passion and enjoyable moments interacting with the students in class...this has become a plague for me this year (2011)...honestly, I haven’t found the lost passion yet since the beginning of the year and I am struggling with it now...I need to find those fire burning desire that used to flame inside of me whenever I think of the students...it seems that the blazing fire has cooled off to be the charcoal...what’s wrong with me? I guess, it is because 2010 was the greatest, happiest and easiest year for me that now, when a harsh stone is being thrown up at me; I am stuck against the wall...2011 is surely a challenging life for me as an educator...everything doesn’t go according to my plan...every time I go inside a class, it feels like I am conducting an experiment, I am anticipating the uncertainty of how the result of the experiment will turn out...and sad to say, up until this moment, most of my experiments failed...the only mode of teaching that works really well is MAFIA games... and time is running out...I need to find the best solution ASAP if I want to work my magic again for 2011 SPM result...indeed, 2011 needs to be better than 2010! Ganbate Huda-san! Fighting!
Ok...enough with all the grumbles, whining and complaints...
It’s time to work out your magic again...
But before that...calm your mind, smile brightly, enjoy your off days...focus on your goals:
---> KOREA 2012 Trip! *big grin...big grin...big grin* (Cik Yam, can't wait to travel with u just like the old times again!)
---> the GG’s leg line dance...hahaha...NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
Huda Unnie – You shouldn’t complaint much, shouldn’t frown too much...if not, your wrinkles will show, your dark circles will be visible like Panda’s eyes, the zits will appear like boils and you are going to be OLD before time....27 will look like 33! OMG, if that happens...then it is D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R! Save yourself!... noel saranghae...=)
As a part of my plan for revamping my look, rejuvenating my spirit and reviving my passion...I am going for 2AM’s showcase! A self-reward for the stressful works! Hehehe...now, I am SMILING widely... Gosh.. I am truly addicted to K-POP! seriously severely crazy...haha
Written by Huda,
@ 10.30pm (13/05/2011)
A loyal Boice and Triple S
(in the mood of CN Blue’s - Intuition)
happy teachers' day in advance to all teachers out there!