stop-loss

stop-loss...

at first, i wonder does eveyrone know what is the exact definition for this compound word? or...err..is it really is a compound word? even though i have a little bit of the linguistics knowledge, truthfully...i do not know the definition of this word...

literally...i would interpret this word as "berhenti...dan kehilangan"...well, since i am a Malay, i have the tendency to translate any English words that are NOT common into my mother tongue because it is easy to do direct Malay translation rather than interpreting it as a word of Queens language..


later i asked my friend (Kak Norin) and my KP (Ketua Panitia aka Head of English Panel, Sir Musa):


i said...."hah...apa maksud stop-loss?"


"hah?..stop-loss? err..apa tue?" ---> Sir Musa's response.


"itu tajuk movie, betul kan?" that's Kak Norin's answer


yup..Kak Norin was right..indeed, it is a title of a movie...and INDEED, this movie does give a lot of information about the situation that is related to "STOP-LOSS"...and as i have watched the entire movie, now i know the concept of stop-loss...


indeed, my wild guess and direct translation of the word into the Malay language was partly correct...literally, it is related to "berhenti..dan kehilangan" because that is the situation of the people who were forced to be involved in the stop-loss " torture event"...the people who are involved in the stop-loss situation are lost indeed...they are suffering horrendous effects from many aspects of life especially the emotional development..they are having hallucination, where many of them are behaving abnormally, thinking that they are still in a war and some also had terrible nightmares...

according to the Wikipedia definition,

stop-loss policy in the US Military term is the involuntary extension of a service member's active duty under the enlistment of contract in order to retain them beyond their initial end of term of service (ETS) date.

in other words, it means the American soldiers are forced to go back to the war zone countries (e.g. Iraq & Afghanistan) after their official time as soldier in those countries are over...they came back home for a while and then, were forced to go back...truthfully, many of them disagreed with the order...they refused to go go back into the battlefield ground...

why do these people refused and there were some of them who rebelled against it? apart from the fact that living in the war zone countries is not something that normal people would enjoy, it is because they already know the truth...the bitter fact of reality is - there is NO WAR...the US government only 'created' the war because of their inferiority and insecurity...after the attack of September 11 (2001), they are afraid that their country will be attacked again...thus, they launched "war of terror" as a part of their effort to protect their people (so they said..)...

some of these soldiers volunteered to go to the battlefield in the first place, convincing themselves that they are actually defending their country and their people...but what is there to fight as there is no real war in the context of military?...at these places (Iraq, Afghanistan), there is only a man trying to protect his family from strangers, a mother struggling to keep her family together, and maybe there is only an innocent son trying to help his father taking care of the family from being hurt by those 'green aliens' in tanks...

now...where is their legal right to live as a normal human being if it is being jeopardised by these so-called "the peace maker?" who invaded their country, testing all new weapons on their land & killing the innocent lives of the country's future generation?

these people...these Muslims rebelled when they are being oprressed..when they cannot work to put food on their table, when their children have deal with 'blind' bullets everyday, when their family cannot sleep peacefully at nights...

as for me, these Americans are arrogant - they think so highly of themselves, they think that they are the GREATEST ONES...if they are truly THAT great and THAT strong, why would they fear of something that is not visible? Why should they be afraid of weak countries like Iran, Iraq & Afghanistan? what do these countries have? they only have the spirit of Jihad among its citizens, ready to die for their belief...they have no powerful weapons, no complicated f4 jet fighters or the B-series of nuclear bombs (e.g. B43, B61 & B83) and so on...but..in my opinion, the spirit of Jihad among the Muslims is the most powerful weapons of all...because it is this spirit that will ignite the flame of fighting towards the end, dying with honour & never give up...SYAHID...

so..stop-loss...is it worth it? some of the unlucky US armies, they refused the order thus, they have to run for their life...running away from their loved ones, from familiar faces as a way to keep alive..they have to give up everything about their former life...they change their identity, change their appearance etc...is it fair to do all these to them?

or the bigger question is...is it fair to have war when there is nothing to fight for? is it worth when the casualties are high and the loss are great...when most of the victims are all innocent?

the Muslims out there...please wake up....rise up to the challenge to help our sisters and brothers in need out there...

semoga suatu waktu nanti akan tertegak kembali sistem khalifah...semoga akan berakhirnya kekacuan dunia hari ini dan bersinar teranglah cahaya keimanan & Islam ke serata alam bumi ini...

i am just a weak, powerless, ordinary Muslim who really loves her religion & country but could do nothing much about it except praying for the bless of Allah SWT...may all of us be under HIS protection, berkah, rahmah & hidayah-Nya...amin...

reference: Stop-loss (2008 movie - starring Ryan Phillippe as Sergeant Brandon King with Channing Tatum as Sergeant Steve Shriver)

another good movie to watch is "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas" (2008) - watch for knowledge purpose only and judge wisely..

...I LOVE YOU...

once upon a time, the thought of standing in front of a pool of talented yet reckless teenagers with turbulence emotions was a nightmare to me...what else, becoming their "cikgu" / teacher / sensei etc...

that was the situation years or maybe decades ago...when i was a teenager myself - a high school student with own isuues at that time..the idea of becoming a teacher was so outrageous to me no matter how my brain rationalised me..

hey..who would want to be a teacher? the last resort career perhaps...a teacher? never the famous, glamourous, posh & ideal profession to me...

that was back in the early era of millennium

today...it is completely a different story...Apart from being an adventurous species i am (as it is the nature born genes)...

TEACHING now is my passion - something that i really LOVE , ENJOY doing it all the time (if possible)..the satisfaction is tremendous, indescribable and it left me emotionally spent...

a teacher - is not merely about teaching, delivering lesson but at some times he/she has to be:

** actors (in covering up their true emotions while teaching even if they are hurt/happy/sad for the sake of the students)..

** a spy / police (when investigating & handling a discipline case)

** clerk (when all the clerical tasks need their attention)

** lawyer (when defending their acts & facts with parents/students when a problem occurs)

** sports coach (standing at the fields under the hot sun, training the students for a competition)

** motivator (in giving encouragement & motivations words for theirspiritual & emotional development)

** engineer + landscape architect (when we have to decorate the garden to beautify the school)

in conclusion...teachers are everything...nonetheless, i'm not complaining though at times the workload is horrendous and too much (to the point that i thought we were slaves-insufficient wages as compared to the hours we worked)...it is all because of THE SAVIOURS of my life..

every year, there will always be students that would be "the heroes & heroines of my life"...these kids (i always refer to them as kids - for its sounds adorable & friendlier) are my saviours...they are my private knights in shining armour who are rescuing the damsel in distress [that's ME!! ] (O^O) ...they save me in many situations:

whenever i feel down, they cheer me up with the melody of their laugh,

teasing me till my eyes tears

whenever i feel bored, they feed me up with their comical facial expressions,

hillarious actions, spontaneous responses and

quirky shows of behaviour

whenever i am angry, they cool me down with their playful,

mischievous spirit until the crack of smiles

appear on my face

whenever i feel ecstatic, happy, overwhelm..

they will share the joy with me..

making me feel appreciated and loved..

apparently, these saviours have paramount impact in my life..

and for that reason,

thank you..

without the presence of all of you, my life would be dull, boring..without all of you, my life is just another passing stage before the Dooms Day...but with all of you, life is a meaningful battlefield to conquer, a worthy farm to sow good seeds, and harvesting the ripe fruits in the after life...because of you, this is a blissful life..

and for this bliss, there is no regret at all in becoming a TEACHER

*** a tribute to all my BELOVED students (though i am "singa garang" who always tortures you, yells at you, pinches you...but the truth is, i love all of you...)

the obession

the obesssion continues after a moment of break...due to my duty and responsibilty, i had to stop this fettish for a while...my hands were tight before this but since i am free now, i'll enjoy every moment of fantasy land with Jing Tian (Hu Ge) & Xue Jian (Yang Mi) from Chinese Paladin 3...

the end of 2009 marked the new beginning of my fettish towards the story, Chinese Paladin 3 (aka CP 3)...i have always had this "love" towards the cantonese dramas produced by TVB or anything from the East (Koreans, Japanese & Taiwanese included) since i was a little girl..but my favourite of all are Wuxia & Epics stories (well..i am a history freak)..i still remember the story of Legend of Condor Hero (starring Richie Ren as Yang Guo) when i was 16...or My Fair Princess 1,2,3 (MFP 1 is now being aired on NTV 7 @ 2.30pm weekdays), Gentle Crackdown , Wong Fei Hong, Journey To the West or simply The Good Old Days...

this craze has been with me for a long time...there was a time when i stopped myself from seeing these dramas because there were no good dramas those few years back (when i was in college)...however, this craze emerged again after watching the first few episodes of CP 3...i was hooked on TV practically everyday and i even downloaded it from the net (sadly enough, i've got only 12 eps. with Eng. subs)..

the great thing is, i can share my fettish with my former colleagues Kak Nad & Kak G-Ha...(wish you guys all the best in Tapah)..they are all very much in love with CP 3 as well particularly Jing Tian & Xu Chang Qing...*wink*

i wish...i could have the series...am waiting for the DVD version of it with English subs...

well...PENANTIAN ITU SATU PENYEKSAAN...indeed, it is true

salam..



finally the battle ends...(fuh..i'm heaving a big sigh)



tomorrow is the day for the last battle of 2009...(so happy)...that means after this, i'll be able to saviour every moment of surfing the internet without feeling guilty, or watching my favourite Chinese Paladin 3 series without worries..hehe...



today..is the day for the new Form 1 students to register in our school...watching their timid faces & still innocent..it reminded me of my own "nightmare" hostel life 13 years ago..no matter however scary that feeling was, it is still the moments of joy that made me who am i today..



another moment that i really love about registration is observing the faces of proud parents...their excitement and thankful expressions are clearly drawn on their faces...something that me, myself feel proud and touched...nonetheless, there are also parents with cynical and sceptical attitude...hoping that everything in this boarding school would be FOC (free-of-charge)...*another sigh*



i understand that it is normal to have the Yin and Yang elements in life (i.e. +ve and -ve)..but, come to think of it rationally, aren't we living in the world of "modernisation" where everything that we do need payment..even if we want to pee, we still have to pay, rite? luckily the oxygen that we breathe in now is God's gift - we don't have to pay for that. (syukur..syukur yg teramat sangat...)



yeah...we've been living on government's subsidies too much until we seem to be unable to stand on our own feet...sorry, i don't mean to condemn on the Malays attitude for i am a Malay too...but, the mentality of depending too much on the government has to be wiped out from our mind...we have to be independent...we should not ask too much help from others...



yeah..maybe it is because i am still single, with no responsibility to hold and maybe it is because i have a smooth-sailing life since i was small (grateful to Allah for this situation), thus making me think like this..i am sorry...but i've always believed that life isn't always easy and for that reason, we have to be ready all the time...



for some parents - they thought that sending off their child to a fully residential school needs no money to spend..how wrong they are...money is essential in today's life...therefore, when they register their child here, it means that they have to be well prepared - mentally & most importantly financially...their child's neccessities, the school fees, pocket money and so on...if we calculate the expenditure, the amount is equal to the daily school (where parents have to pay for the tuition classes, transportation etc)..isn't it just the same?



i'm still single...but i thought that raising a child does need a lot of sacrifices from parents - be it physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially...(and for these reasons, THANK YOU MOM & DAD for being patient in raising me up and coping with my outrageous behaviour)



and a reminder to me and all adults out there:



**** we have to be financially independent - be it you invest your money in properties & you become a millionaiire or if you are the employed worker, you have to be frugal or the other alternative is get married with rich people! (haha..just kiddin')..whatever it takes, be financially secured (of course, according to the Islamic conduct & ethics)



as what i have always believed, conquering the world of economy could enable us to conquer the world...



and insyaallah..we'll be the great Muslims & Muslimah



**recommendation - a good book to read is "Stop acting rich & start living like a real millionaire" by Dr. Thomas J. Stanley.

byebye 2009...hola 2010

salam...hello...hai...

perjuangan masih panjang tapi masih mencuri masa untuk mengetahui perkembangan semasa dengan melayari internet....

i wish..the 13th January 2010 will come soon! then i'll be "merdeka" on that day...nay, only temporary independence or i'd rather say guilty pleasure for after this, 2010 has so many things to look on and so many agendas stored for us....

i missed the first two days of the school meetings (mesyuarat pengurusan sekolah, mesyuarat HEM, mesyuarat akademik etc....fuh..as usual, there are hundreds of meetings for teachers before the school session begins....that's our routine...something that oddly to say..I LIKE IT...) ...the only meeting that i attended was English Panel meeting this morning

i like being in a meeting even though it takes hours just to come up with a solution for a problem...i like it because it gives me opportunities to be in light, not in the dark...or..easy to say, i am "minah kepoh" because i'd like to know everything that happens around me...err..am i a gossip girl? absolutely, positively, definitely true...i want to know everything that happens to my work place, my beloved students and my colleagues...in some sense, yeah...i am a weirdo...

back to 2009 - so many things happened...so many good and bad memories were created (and will always be cherished), the glory, the failures...that's the spice of life..fisrt of all, congrats to the PMR 2009 candidates who scored great results because all of you deserved it! after so many torture, nagging, motivation words etc. given by the teachers, you guys managed to endure it beautifully...and for the teachers, double congrats because all of you have done the great job!

welcome 2010 - tons of work await the teachers especially the INTESABERIANS because we still have unfinished agendas (e.g. NADWAH) and academic performance to maintain...as what we have been told "we have to work triple harder than the previous years" because it seems like everyone is talking and taking close watch over SBPISB...and i wonder, why is that? is it because we are THAT GREAT...or maybe because we are TOO BAD?...I hope it is because we are the great Intesaberians...

i've just read what ust. Amir had published in his blog that is even though we have so many things to do...accept it with open arms...yeah, i admit that there were rough times when i did complaint a lot about the workload, the students and the admins...because i felt dissatisfied with what they had asked me to do...well, i'm just a normal human who couldn't really control my emotions...however, i hope that with the growing number of age, (gosh...i'm old already) ...i'll mature gracefully...yeah..way to go Huda! chaiyok..chaiyok! (copied from my students who love to say these words)

despite the hectic schedule that will cross my path...i'm still positive and motivated...especially when Ust. Ahmadi came to our English Panel meeting this morning...He told us stories about Gunturian (a school in Indonesia)...a very inspiring story indeed...it is about the school that provides ample opportunities to their students to be able to speak fluently in English & Arabic..they are the Islamic leaders-in-making who will be the great speakers..insyaallah...

now, the Intesaber 2010 vision is "memperkasakan Bahasa Inggeris & Bahasa Arab" or if translated into English, it would be the emnpowerment of English & Arabic languages...i wish.. that next year, the students will be able to do the paradigm shift in every aspect of their lives, not only academic performance but the disipline/spiritual part as well...to be naughty is normal but to a certain extent only and never ever be RUDE...i hope the school will be the helpful environment to students to practice their ability in English and Arabic...

but remember:

this does not mean we neglect our own mother tongue...we are still proud with our unique Malay language...but, we are trying to prepare the new Malay generations who are competent in many languages and thus, indirectly helping them to acquire vast knowledge and eventually becoming the great Muslim & Muslimah of all...Insyaallah...amin..

to all my beloved students...welcome back to another beautiful year of school life...

and to all teachers out there...we are the lucky ones to be chosen in this noble profession because our job (if we do it whole-heartedly and sincerely), will be the seed that we that sow to the life after the judgement day...Allah bless us...amin..

welcome 2010...and byebye 2009

satu pengalaman...

lega...

that's the only word that can describe my feelings right now....

lega...for many reasons...


dan sangat menyedihkan bila melihat ramai anak melayu ketinggalan dalam arus pembangunan negara kerana kurangnya ilmu pengetahuan untuk menguasai dunia hari ini..

sedih...kerana mereka kebanyakannya anak melayu...tercicir dalam menguasi BI - satu bahasa yang penting dalam era globalisasi ini untuk terus bersaing dengan anak2 kaum lain yang berlumba-lumba menguasai ekonomi dunia..

not being materialistics, but

i always believe that by having the stability in economy we could conquer the world - then we would be able to spread the wonderful world of Islam, the miraculuos words of Al-Quran and the beautiful lifestyle of a Muslim...

because only then, people would see us as the role model, the greatest leaders that could lead the world to peace, to the goodness..

that is what i've always told my students - language is power. you could influence people with your opinion and you could inspire others with your words...

and for me - i'm not a person with vast knowledge of Hadiths, tafsir or whatsoever..for i'm just an ordinary Muslimah but i hope that through my language proficiency, i could spread the teaching of Islam to others...perhaps..(as what me and my friends experienced once while we were in NZ - debating about Jesus (nabi Musa) with a devoted Christian Maori)

sigh...i wish semua anak2 Melayu akan sedar akan pentingnya penguasaan ilmu pengetahuan dan kita tidak lagi leka that dengan kehidupan yang mudah pada hari ini (Malaysia is definitely a comfort zone for the Malays)...sedarlah anak2 bangsa Muslim & Melayu - hidup ini satu perjuangan yang berterusan tanpa ada titik noktah sehingga ke penghujung nyawa..

come...let's go, fight & win..

satria ESQ 165:
go..go..go..
fight..fight.fight..
win..win..win..


sigh...in a few days, another battle begins...

not so over the - "New Moon"

NEW MOON

i have watched the 2nd installment of the Twilight saga, the most anticipated movie of the year...


well, as a big fan of Stephanie Meyer and of the saga as well, reading the whole series provides the maximum satisfaction...honestly, the storyline is catchy, different and unique...and believe me when i say that i couldn't put the books down amidst of my busy schedule and hectic lifestyle...and it very well meant that i was behaving like a zombie for days - the result of having lack of goodnight sleep...

what an enthralling series...

nonetheless, sorry to the die-hard-fan of Rob Pattinson (Edward) and Kristen Stewart (Bella), this 2nd movie is a BIG disappointment to me...i don't know about other people's opinion, but the movie fails to excite me as compared to the 1st movie...and to my dismay, it never caught my attention at all...


yeah..i have to admit that the 2nd book is not that interesting as the 1st and 4th (my fave of the series)...but truly, the 2nd movie is a total letdown..it did not get to me, my attention span was able to last for the 1st quarter of the movie...after that, i totally lost my interest at all even when they portray the parts of the books that i really love (i.e. the part when Edward & Bella watch Romeo & Juliet / when Edward is trying to protect Bella from the wrath of Jane during the meeting with the Volturi/ when Bella couldn't believe that Edward finally is in her room again, watching her sleep as usual)


i was hoping (more like praying) that the scenes where they shot in Italy would be detailed as described in the book...yeah, i know it would be impossible to depict the scenes exactly like the novel but at least i anticipated that it would be better than what they have shown...sigh...


truly, i am one of the fanatic fan of Twilight and i really love the books and of course, the 1st movie as well...i even watched it several times (in cinema) and countless times (from my pirated DVD)...i truly love it, crazy about it, can't never get enough of it...


nevertheless, the 2nd instalment is a total doom to me...

but..as i said, different people have different opinion...

"as one's man's meat is another man's poison... "

but, i love Jacob Black played by Taylor Lautner (definitely the hunky wolf O^O)
positively a deserving rival for Edward *wink*