the dilemma of a Malay girl..

"ish...hang ni gemuk la...debab!"

"hah...tembamnya budak ni.."
those are a few examples of typical sentences often associated with me...i have to admit, at times, these "cruel" sentences kill me - figuratively speaking...it kills me in term of self-confidence, personality & characteristics.

however, i am lucky for i don't succumb into the situation..instead, i retort because i don't believe that a woman is beautiful if she is a fashionita or a stylish, up-to-date person...(look at Victoria Beckham or Kate Moss- i don't see them as beautiful even though they spend millions of dollar for the sake of fashion)

instead, i believe a woman is beautiful when she is smart, intelligent, able to take care of herself...a women does not neccessarily need to be a soft, demure, gentle person to be beautiful...demure, gentle, soft - those are the traits that come in package (call it mutated genes)..because not everyone has that...some people say that we could train ourselves to achieve the desired results but hey..you are lying to yourself if you force yourself to be someone who is NOT YOU!

it is enough to be kind-hearted, honest & possess warm personality...it would attract people to us just like a magnet...having those characteristics are enough to me us become adorable...(for as far as i am concerned)...no need to change yourslef to be OTHER people if you are not happy about it...it will only bring you misery & suffer..

in today's world..it seems that being a beauty is essential in order to get married...as if beauty is the only element that people see in a person to ensure that particular person is the perfect one as your soul mate? hey..i thought marriage is more than that? marriage is a pure bond between a husband and wife where they walk this world together, sharing the life through thick and thin and stay true to themselves and be blessed by Allah..

so..is being beautiful is enough for us to hitch a husband? is that the purpose of finding a beauty to be our husband/wife? so that we will feel proud showing off our spouse to others?

so..those who are fat, chubby, less beautiful are unlucky? (hell yeah..is it true that these people are unlucky?) well..define the word unlucky first...

someone said to me:

"Huda..kawan ****** dulu tembam mcm Huda la...lepas tue, dia jadi kurus..la ni ramai orang berkenan kat dia.."

---> hello...it seems that those who are thin are more desirable than the fat ones? somebody has to enlighten me about this with hard facts if she/he ever gonna win the debate...

yeah..being a 26 year old woman with no string attached to anybody currently makes people ask FAQ ...

"kenapa takde calon lagi? Huda ni memilih sangat kot.."
---> great..now, i am accused of being choosy...but wait a minute...aren't we supposed to be choosy about our future spouse? i believe that we have to be compatible with each other in many aspects (sekufu) before we can consider to take serious steps in our relationship...i seek someone who can click with me..bear with my upside down emotions, share my humor, appreciate me for who i am (even though I am not that good looking),arguing the life in his witty & cunning ways... and able to tolerate my insanity at times...and i'll do the same for his sake...

in another situation...

"Huda..umur macam sekarang ni..kena pandai 'pancing' tau.."

---> gosh..now, finding my soul mate is being compared with my fishing skill..hell yeah..i am never good at fishing (literally speaking)..and i hate fishing..is it that simple? i still can't comprehend those who think like this..

ok..ok..i understand the use of metaphor "pancing" here..it means that you've got to have skills to woo a guy/girl...and sorry, i don't have the skills..as far as I am concerned, I am a conservative Malay girl who would never dare pick up the first line..

why is it that people care so much about when a girl will get married?
with whom she get married with?
why isn't she married even if she is already pass the age?

it is all fate...there are reasons for everything that happened in this world... God knows better..

so..stop asking the FAQs...stop bugging me with the same sentences for millions of times..stop saying that you actually care about me when the truth is that you are being busy body..

i am happy the way i am even if it means i am alone..

i believe that when the time comes...it will be...until then..shut up...