melancholic...

salam....

erm..I was thinking to continue my writing about the trip to London but then, changed my mind...

suddenly, after reading that entry, it sounds arrogant, vain, too proud of the materials possession even though at first, the intention was totally different...I was thinking of penning down something that I like - travelling and the experience that come with it...however, maybe the way that I put it was vain...

I am feeling blues nowadays...always feeling that I lack of something in this life...then something hit me! It is not money, wealth, companionship etc...but it seems that I am lost...

Mungkin terasa betapa jauhnya diri ini daripada Allah...terasa terlalu lama sudah meminggirkan Dia...melupai-Nya dalam kesibukan dunia, lupa mensyukuri nikmat kurniaan-Nya...

Astaghfirullahalazim...apa nak jadi ni?

It's true indeed that I was super busy since the second semester of the school session started weeks ago...

I was busy catching up with the world...the painstaking tasks that never end (marking, camping, school activities and the last straw is the crucial and tiring preparation for the SBT)...


SBT - took up most of my time...I haven't slept properly for days... (finished the files-finally, last night at 4.30am and only got 2 hours sleep). It just feels like my student days where sleeping for a few hours at night was a normal thing...yet, it has some differences...among them are, as a student, I could take LONGGGG nap in the afternoon after class...but as a working woman, I couldn't do so...time is no longer a treasure that I own...my time is shared with others especially my lovely students where they take up most of my time - classes, extra classes, Oral and so on.. (but, it's ok...I love spending time with them)...

Indeed, this hectic lifestyle is fun (especially when you are in good company of great colleagues like the bunch of happening, energetic teachers of SBPISB – really grateful to have them in my life)...

But, these endless tasks are pushing me away from HIM...terlalu leka dengan keindahan dunia dan kesibukan yang tiada batasan, menjauhkan aku daripada-Nya...

However, come to think thoroughly and wisely again, those are not the reasons to blame for my lack of Iman and Ibadah (good deeds). I, myself is the only person to blame for everything that happens. Even if I was busy, I shouldn’t neglect my responsibility as a Muslim...Even if I have lack of sleep, I shouldn’t poison my soul...and even if I am ecstatic with life, I shouldn’t pollute myself with too much fun till my heart turns black... so, whatever the reason for these morose feelings to develop, it is ME who is to blame!

Wake up Huda...life is too short...the life in ‘akhirat’ is everything, more than anything else in this world...wake up Huda...find your soul...wake up Huda, discover yourself again...wake up Huda, Allah is the most generous, He will always forgive those who repent after making mistakes...it is never too late to change to be the better Muslimah! =)

A servant - still struggling to find herself in the eye of Islam


Check out this song from Maher Zain – ‘Always be there’ (the song that I am currently listening to..and very inspiring)






Allahuakbar (11x)

If u ask me about love
And want to know... about it
My answer would be... it’s everything about Allah
The purest love... to our soul...
The creator of u and me
The heaven in the whole universe
And the one that makes us whole and free
...the guardian of his True believers

chorus :
So...when the time gets hard
And there’s nowhere to turn
As he promises you...He will always be there
To bless us with his love and his mercy cause....
As he promises you...He will always be there
He’s always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what’s in our little hearts
So when you lose your ways, to Allah you should turn
As he promises you...He will always be there

To bring us out from the darkness
Into the light...subhanallah...

He would know everything
We should never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow his guidance all the way
Through our short time we have in this life
Soon it's all will be over and will be
And this heaven we'd all be fine

So...when the time gets hard
And there’s nowhere to turn
As he promises you...he will always be there
To bless us with his love and his mercy cause....
As he promises you...He will always be there
He’s always watching us, guiding us
And he knows what’s in our little hearts
So when u lose your ways, to Allah you should turn
As he promises you...He will always be there

Allahuakbar (11x)

*repeat chorus