TrappeDinBubbleS

Cortisol abundance

2011-09-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

when life gets busy, not even a K-drama could help to release the cortisol (hormone stress)...i need to do the workout..that's the best way...it helps me a lot during times like this...but then..too many things to attend to (imagine...eveyday is filled with Jamuan..continuition from the Eid Open House! - alhamdulillah..murah rezeki)...gish..i don't even have time to do it..damn..i miss my routine so much...i miss the smelly sweat and the feeling of pushing myself to complete the tiring routines even though it is very hard...

piles of work are still manageable..but life is so disorganised if I can't do the workout.. *sigh*

life..be good to me...*jebal*

cruel to be kind

2011-07-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

I am about to break someone's heart..feeling guilty in the process...

being cruel in order to be kind...for the good sake of everyone...

K-World Fetish Part 2

2011-06-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

K-POP FETISH: Part B

Kim Hyun Joong

9 years ago, it was the dramas that diverted the whole world’s attention to Korea’s entertainment industry...then came Rain and Boa, followed by idol groups like TVXQ and SS501...and today, the K-POP waves have spread all over the world with their energetic dances, catchy and captivating music, adorable fashion style, amusing variety shows and entertaining entertainment programmes...today, the global phenomenon of Super Junior, B2ST, 2PM, 2AM, Girl’s Generation, KARA, U KISS, MBLAQ, CN BLUE, FT Island, 2NE1, 4 minute (and the list goes on..too many to list down) seems to be unbeatable...

And because of this huge and wide phenomenon of the Hallyu Waves, my addiction towards K-POP world continues one after another...generally, I love most of the songs by the Koreans artistes, be it Ballads, Rock or just pop...for me, those songs are just favourable, easy for the ears even though the lyrics that I can understand are only of a few common words such as “ Sarang”, “Gaseum” “Appa” “Ara” etc..

Jejaka Idaman? hehe

I love SS501, but after their last album in 2009, the members are doing separate projects individually, so, I thought that my addiction will stop there and then...nah, how wrong I was for then, CN Blue debuted with I’m a Loner...hence, I’m hooked with the web of K-POP again and again..

SS501

K-POP world is so huge...and here I would love to divide them into several categories (macam nak bagi awards plak..kekeke)...these are all based on my favouritism...(sorry to those who disagree *wink*)

• FAVE BANDS
--- > It’s CN Blue for their unique talents and taste in music...I love most of their songs...they composed, wrote and produced their own songs! Even the “Banmal” song was composed by Yong Hwa with Seo Hyun in their WGM show..how cool is that? And honestly, the song is just so nice...=)..their music alone is able to grab hold of my attention without the need to do extra like dancing in their performance...It’s just so cool to watch them playing their instrument confidently and with ease...

The talented boys of CN Blue

• FAVE IDOLS
--- > haha... this one goes without saying...they are Kim Hyun Joong (SS501) and Kim Heechul (Suju)...it seems that I like the descendant of “Kim” quite a lot...haha...as for Hyun Joong, it is his 4D unique personality – unpredictable, mysterious, blunt, witty and intelligence...the image of him with the combination of humorous and mysterious elements appeals to my taste in ‘namja’..haha...and for Heechul, he is quick and super funny! And of course, I won’t deny another important factor of liking these two is their physical appearance...Both are just so beautiful =) *Wink* cantik mengalahkan orang perempuan..adoyai..

• FAVE IDOL GROUP
--- > SS501! Well, the reason why I like these 5 boys so much is because they are just so funny together...the Tom & Jerry fight between Park Jung Min & Baby Hyung Jun brings laughter to the atmosphere while the nice Kyu Jong could be mischievous at times...the Prince, Young Saeng is the by nature the quiet one but still able to create loveable moments and with his members, Hyun Joong is his real self...You can’t never see his 100% unique 4D personality at other shows except when he is surrounded by the people that he is comfortable with...and among them are his members in SS501! =)

• FAVE SONGS
--- >there are too many to list down every one of it but the ones that keep on playing over and over again on my Vivaz Pro are:

--- > CN Blue – I’m a Loner, Intuition & L.O.V.E GIRL
--- > G.NA – Black & White and I’ll back off so You can Live
--- > SS501 – Love Ya
--- > Beast – Shock
--- > FT Island – Love Love Love
--- > Kim Hyun Joong – Thank You

Basically, my taste is more prominent towards the energetic songs that could pump up my body to dance along the music as listed above...an exception for Hyun Joong’s Thank You...this song just reminds me of the variety show We Got Married that he did with Hwang Bo...I am one of the JoongBo Believers...I think they will be great together although it was awkward in the beginning...

• FAVE MVs – Really love G.NA’s “Black & White”...the chemistry between both G.Na and Jin Woon (2AM) is so sweet...I also love the mischievous things that the girls of 4 Minute do to Jung Shin (CN Blue) in the MV “Heart to Heart”...and another one that I enjoy is Suju’s “Full of Happiness” especially the part for free hugs...hahaha...just imagine if that really happens, wow, I guess the fans would all go crazy!

The sweet chemistry between G.NA & Jin Woon in Black & White

• FAVE OSTs – No. 1’s choice is of course all the AN Jell’s songs from “You’re Beautiful”! the quadruplets are so amazing! This will be followed by Howl “Have I Told” from the drama Playful Kiss

• FAVE DANCES – for this one, Nuruddin won’t like it but I love 2PM’s ‘tukki’ (Rabbit)+shuffle dance in “I’ll Be back” MV (hehe)...the Bad Boy image in SS501 “Love Ya” is also my favourite along with Girl’s Generation famous leg line dance in “OH”

• FAVE VOICES – Yong Hwa’s (CN Blue) husky voice really turns me on! *wink* he is definitely a singer who really can sing! Plus, FT Island’s main vocalist, Lee Honggi...actually, Honggi’s voice is really unique and rare...it can’t just be found anywhere...it reminds me of my best mate, Baya’s favourite group Radja *terkenang zaman muda-mudi*...and don’t forget the powerful voices from 4 Minute & 2NE1...these 2 idol girl groups are different than the others because they focus on their voice and music rather than just dancing!

• FAVE VARIETY SHOWS – it’s OH MY SCHOOL! Love every episode of this show but the most well-liked one is the Christmas Special with Heechul in it! The Chocoball Group members are just so hilarious...=)...I also like We Got Married (Ssanghu Couple & Goguma Couple), 2 days 1 Night (oh, Lee Seunggi is really cute in it) and SS501 Idol World (old show)...

• FAVE DRAMAS – the all time favourite is “All About Eve” with Jang Dong Gun and Chea Rim as the lead cast...the rest are “Playful Kiss”, “You’re Beautiful” , “My Girl” and “Sungkyunkwan Scandal”...mostly, the main attraction is the storyline, and another factor is of course the gorgeous heroines and charming heroes! (Hehe..I guess, it’s human’s nature and also human’s fault to always like to see the beauty of everything including “saram”)

See? There are too many things to talk about K-POP world...Do you believe me if I say that I watch almost everything in KBS World including their Documentary (e.g. VJ on the Scene & Screening Humanity) just because I love almost everything about it! I just don’t watch the news – why? Because there is no subtitles and I don’t understand it...but, I believe that if I could speak Hangul, surely I’ll watch that as well....haha...

B2ST

Well...don’t misjudge me thinking that I am not patriotic towards my own beloved Malaysia! It is just that in the world of entertainment, their products are triple times better than us! I think that Malaysians artistes need to learn more from the Koreans...they are more humble, not that arrogant like some of our local artiste or Diva-like attitude of Bollywood & Hollywood actors...they work really hard to produce good TV shows and good performances... The effort that they put on makes us feel closer to their celebrity...whereas in Malaysia, we feel the distant feeling as if we can’t never reach out to them...

The truth - K-POP world is not only about human, it’s like a product, a business - that’s why their products are more likeable and selling like hot cakes in the market! And for their good quality product, they give us tremendous satisfaction and addiction! That’s why they are able to spread like a giant wave sweeping through Asia and other continents of the world...

Malaysians – learn something from them!

--- The End... ---

K-World fetish

2011-06-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

K-POP FETISH: part A

If we read an entertainment magazines recently, there are a lot of K-POP news and articles being published...be it the local Malay entertainment mags such as HAI, Utopia, or the English ones like Galaxie and of course a magazine that feeds the addiction of the K-POP’s lovers in Malaysia, the ‘Epop’ magazine. I also read this kind of magazine just to satisfy my obsession towards K-POP artistes even though the language used is horrible and funny! I bet all the BM teachers will cry their heart out and faint if they read this mags (Hahaha)...erm, the point that I’m trying to write here is that how I can bear with the bad use of Malay Language written in the mags with its’ funny and awkward phrases and LOTS of spelling errors...I, the person who is very particular with language use, grammar and structures can BEAR all those eye sores just because of the contents presented in it are more appealing to me than those errors...imagine, that is the level of my fetish towards the K-POP world...unbelievable and unstoppable; those are the only words that can describe the phenomenon of K-POP wave that had affected me, my housemate and some of my students (ngee..I have company!)...the Hallyu wave is just like a plague in today’s Asia entertainment industry and it certainly is like a virus that is very difficult to cure in me..

winter sonata - the drama that started it all..

It all started with the first and foremost K-Drama in 2002 entitled “Winter Sonata”, produced by KBS. Bae Yong Jun (as Kang Jung Sang) and Choi Ji Woo (as Yoo Jin), were the main leads...they were so gorgeous that it dropped my jaw (literally) watching them acting the lovely scenes in the drama...plus, their acting skill was so convincing that it felt real to the audience...I cried so many times throughout the drama...and the bonus is the OST of it are so touching...I was only 18 at that time...and I remembered me roaming the shops at Kota Raya and Petaling Street just to buy the VCD box set and the soundtrack... and it was so costly at that time, priced at RM 99.90 per box set and another RM 19.90 for the soundtrack...half of my monthly allowance was gone just like that...

all about eve - the all time favourite

MY Girl - the one I used to be hooked in front of my lappy

dalja & taebong - the one that rekindled everything...

After “Winter Sonata”, there were a few other interesting dramas that hooked me up in front of the idiot box almost everyday...”All About Eve” (this is my all time favourite!), “Hotelier”, “Autumn In My Heart” “Stairway to Heaven” etc...then, the addiction stopped for a while after I went abroad until “My Girl”, “Full House” and “My Lovely Samsoon” came in...it continued for a year but after I started my career in SBPISB, I was too busy with my new world that I lost the passion for a while...even during the fever of “Boys Over Flower” that took over the whole Asia in 2009, I wasn’t really aware about it...until my colleagues Kak Mas & Kak Norah suggested that I watch “Dalja’s Spring” in the middle of 2010 followed by “Sungkyunkwan Scandal” and “Fugitive; Plan B” with hunky Rain and in it...these two dramas were aired in October 2010. Even though I don’t really like the action-spy story like the Fugitive; Plan B, but I figured out that K-Dramas have evolved a lot in their storylines...It has become more international, more sophisticated...it does not really focus on love anymore... Lots of new elements have been induced such as humour and sophistication...however...there is no more portrayal of innocent and pure love... some of them are even more bold with obscene and elaborate kissing scenes...

definitely, the historical fave =)

All in all, the K-Dramas are still enjoyable to watch...I still cry and I still feel the feeling of being stab right through my heart when it comes to sad scenes...and I believe that the addiction will continue so long as they produce good dramas...

--- To be continued --

gasumi apa mamolla 2011

2011-05-14T23:34:00.000-07:00

I am tired (driving for 4 hours has become so tiring nowadays – guess that I’m getting old already..huhu)..I am sleepy...my eyes are puffy...seriously, signs of dark circles are already appearing little by little around my eyes...gosh, I am exhausted...work...work...work...unfinished works..these words have become my chants these days...there are too many things that need my attention yet it seems that I can’t finish them all...one after another...those works keep on compiling on my desk and I don’t have extra hours to work on them... I wish there is more than 24 hours in a day...after all the hard work of preparing the examination papers plus arranging the schedules for invigilation with so many amendments to deal with (with SBT & Volleyball tournament in between), now come the marking part...honestly, I love marking essays especially when it comes to reading students’ ideas...some are really awesome, some are just hilarious and there are some that are just ridiculous...all in all, it is fun!

However, nowadays, I am in no mood to mark any of it since I am too tired and also, I am worried about certain unfinished works on my desk...regardless, I still take a day off on Monday (16th May – Happy Teachers’ Day to all teachers out there! It is our day! Yuhuu..) just because I want to have REVENGE! A revenge for not being able to sleep properly since last few weeks, a revenge for not being able to be online and keeping in touch with the world for quite some time and a revenge for not being able to fully satisfy my addiction in K-dramas! It seems that I can’t fulfil my personal interest due to the demanding duty as a teacher...opps...did I ever mention that Aspuri is in really chaotic situation with the girls are being stubborn & taking advantages of our leniency given to them recently? It is because we (me & my housemate) are too tired to even monitor their activities...in some ways, yeah, I have neglected my duty as a warden...please...I am yearning for my personal life that is not related to school, books and students! Give me a break! And after so many months, this is the first time that I could go back home...and for that, I am grateful...

The only personal thing that I can do all this while is my nightly routine – jogging! This is the only time that I can fully indulge myself doing my personal thing...running around the school with my Vivaz Pro blasting energetic music from Beast, CN Blue, G-na, SS501 etc. keeps me being sane for a while...even if it means only an hour a day for my personal time...that’s the only thing that keeps me going, energizing my spirit while I can’t indulge myself in other things that I like...Sometimes, I feel like I am not appreciating myself enough...I don’t love myself enough...because I keep on putting other things as my priority rather than having fun for myself...work and students have always come as my no.1 priority, I am putting them on the top of my must-care list that I often neglect my family...I stay in the hostel weeks after weeks if other wardens need to go away for their personal business that I sacrifice my time with my family...I didn’t go back to see my mom and grandma for months...it is all because of my dearest students *sigh*... there are times when I can’t even sleep soundly at nights because the students are practicing things, thus making so much noise that I would wake up abruptly from my deep slumber dream...this situation too, leads to severe headache in the morning and causing fatigue during the day...yet, I still find the situation bearable...I am coping with it...however, when students are not being appreciative and “mengambil kesempatan”, now my patience is being tested at its’ highest limit...I am like a time-bomb, waiting to explode anytime soon...it is within a matter of time before I really drop the bomb. For now, I am still waiting...unlike the Aspura when the wardens already dropped their temper...for Aspuri...BEWARE!!...You have been warned!!

Oh yeah...this stressful state of affairs has become worse since I lost my passion and enjoyable moments interacting with the students in class...this has become a plague for me this year (2011)...honestly, I haven’t found the lost passion yet since the beginning of the year and I am struggling with it now...I need to find those fire burning desire that used to flame inside of me whenever I think of the students...it seems that the blazing fire has cooled off to be the charcoal...what’s wrong with me? I guess, it is because 2010 was the greatest, happiest and easiest year for me that now, when a harsh stone is being thrown up at me; I am stuck against the wall...2011 is surely a challenging life for me as an educator...everything doesn’t go according to my plan...every time I go inside a class, it feels like I am conducting an experiment, I am anticipating the uncertainty of how the result of the experiment will turn out...and sad to say, up until this moment, most of my experiments failed...the only mode of teaching that works really well is MAFIA games... and time is running out...I need to find the best solution ASAP if I want to work my magic again for 2011 SPM result...indeed, 2011 needs to be better than 2010! Ganbate Huda-san! Fighting!

Ok...enough with all the grumbles, whining and complaints...

It’s time to work out your magic again...

But before that...calm your mind, smile brightly, enjoy your off days...focus on your goals:
---> KOREA 2012 Trip! *big grin...big grin...big grin* (Cik Yam, can't wait to travel with u just like the old times again!)

---> the GG’s leg line dance...hahaha...NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Huda Unnie – You shouldn’t complaint much, shouldn’t frown too much...if not, your wrinkles will show, your dark circles will be visible like Panda’s eyes, the zits will appear like boils and you are going to be OLD before time....27 will look like 33! OMG, if that happens...then it is D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R! Save yourself!... noel saranghae...=)

As a part of my plan for revamping my look, rejuvenating my spirit and reviving my passion...I am going for 2AM’s showcase! A self-reward for the stressful works! Hehehe...now, I am SMILING widely... Gosh.. I am truly addicted to K-POP! seriously severely crazy...haha

Written by Huda,
@ 10.30pm (13/05/2011)
A loyal Boice and Triple S
(in the mood of CN Blue’s - Intuition)

happy teachers' day in advance to all teachers out there!

mirror..mirror..hanging on the wall...

2011-04-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

I have...

been having weird dreams recently...is it due to lack of rest (yeah...been so tired, never have proper rest since last school break)...

been feeling something strong lately...is 2011 going to make my dreams come true?

got to know something just now...confirming my anticipating news...

sharing the news with my collegue...and feeling happy for no solid reason...

reminiscing old memories...remembering an old flame...springing up hope...

gosh...bilakah penantian ini bakal berakhir??

Intesaber

2011-03-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

though the condition is not really well with cracked buildings here and there, feeling as if I am risking my life everytime I come here..You still give me the joyous feelings even though the location is far away from my favourite city in the world, the glorious Kuala Lumpur and even more far away from the lovely hometown of Penang, my presence here is still cherished by many.. although You lack of many things, You also Give many things.. You show me... You give me.. the friends that add genuine joy in life are super fun & understanding in terms of collaboration, team work and also in sharing feelings..(gossipping? opps...haha..) and for that, I am glad.. (dedicated to all teachers in Intesaber) the students who sometimes give the pride and happiness..who always made my days in many events are inspiring and encouraging..supplying me withe the endless energy to keep on running towards the end line..and for that, I am so thankful.. (dedicated to all people who think of Intesaberians as their home & family) there are also students who hate me so much that they refuse to even smile or galnce at my directions...I know that they are hurt whenever I am being harsh with them...and for that, I am sorry for there are times that I couldn't even control my emotions..these people too, teach me things that I never experience before.. there are people who teach me that working hard is part and parcel of life..in the midst of hardship, we should strive to make things work the way we want...never compromise to the harsh world that could make us feel bad (dedicated to Pai and all Pekerja Pembersihan that really work hard to esnure that Intesaber will always look beautiful..) and the people who always give us tasty, great and delicious food..awesome is the only word that could describe it..loving each dish since my first day here.. (dedicated to all pekerja DM yang best) and to those who are related to Intesaber..believe me, You are blessed! =)

the overwhelming happiness

2011-03-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

SPM result for the year 2010 is already out yesterday...

Seeing the familiar figures of the ex-form 5 students who were wandering around the school compound with the look of eagerness, excitement & nervous written all over their faces, I felt the feeling of overflowing happiness and contentment...for some reasons, I also felt nervous..it is odd, but that's the truth..(maybe my feelings are clouded by my own affection towards the 2010 batch, especially the 5 Hidayah peeps! =)

When I was in the class teaching grammar to 5 Maghfirah students, I was restless...30 minutes lesson seemed to be dragging..it seemed to take longer than it used to be..I wanted everything to end so fast so that I could be in the DIK with those ex-students, to know their results...

The moment that I had been waiting for, came at last..I met Akhiar and Paan by chance at the canteen and we had a little chat about their life at the moment..and I could never forget Akhiar's story about being fired from his job as a tuition teacher AND arguing with the principal himself for about an hour defending yousrelf! haha..Akhiar, you sure do have the nerve and courage to put up with your rights!..bravo..err..!remind me never to mess with you..haha..*wink*

Joy - that's the first emotion that I felt after brwosing through the result of 5 Hidayah for English..out of 32 students, only 1 scored B+..the rest is great history ! 31 scored A-, A and A+! What a joyful day! and the good feeling continues as we (the English teachers) discovered this result:

A+ = 26 students

A = 66 students

A- = 31 students

B+ = 11 students

B = 3 students

and the ranking forEnglish subject? no. 14/ 58! The first time ever we chart into top 15! We break our leg! We were ranked 30/ 58 for SPM 2009 while in 2008, we were the LAST in SBP level!...Can you imagine my happiness? and, for the first time in the record track, we've got no C ! what a relief and what a double, triple joy! ..

I love this feeling! I even shouted and jumped happily, dancing myself around the Bilik Guru, looking at the result! People could notice that I was smiling so wide all day long till my jaw hurt because of this overwhelming happiness...even when I jogged with Kak Mas that night, I couldn't stop this overflowing feeling of joy, that I even can't stop running and jumping happily all the way...and the weather was nice, with gentle breeze as if the surrounding is also celebrating my feeling as well..*smiling..smiling..smiling*

Indeed..these feelings are the reason why I love being a teacher! As a teacher, a reward or presents are just a bonus, but the success of the students are the real Rewards of all..the best gift ever!

untuk anak-anak didik sayang, YOU MUST KNOW THAT a happiness to a teacher is not the Gifts you give us (even though we will feel happy receiving those persents)...a happiness is your success and your good attitude that you show us...

I, personally will feel just so happy and overwhelm when I receive a simple text message from you asking me things (even sometimes the things that you ask are just the petty matters, but I love it - honestly!) or even just to wish me Happy Teachers' Day or Happy Birthday! It is the act of not forgetting me as your teacher by keeping in touch that matters, not the presents that you give me (although Thank You Zalikha for the chocolate - my fave flavour! and to Syazana Afiqah as well for the yummy Kerepek Kapal Terbang! Thanks a LOT!)

Your happiness is OUR happiness..=)

this is indeed...THE BEST GIFT OF the year 2010!

the thrill of life

2011-01-17T21:38:00.000-08:00

The trip to Phuket last November was memorable and fun even it was not the well-planned trip...Me and my friends (Kak Sally, Kak Norin & Yani) gambled everything since we did not pre-book the tours before landing ourselves at Phuket International Airport.

~~ Kai Island ~~

~~ We are in the famous Thailand's Tuk Tuk~~

It started badly since I caught a nasty cold, high fever and extreme sore throat on the 1st day. I couldn't enjoy the food very well, I was too caught up with fatigue and my head was about to explode...but I dragged myself along.. I was living on the mercy of extra dose of Panadol and Paracetamol..

~~ on the boat to Maya Bay ~~

But hey, something that started off badly didn't always end badly as well...For one, my eyes were blinded by the sight of so many beautiful and blinking gems at the largest gem factory ever in Asia! I couldn't resist the temptation of owning one of the rings displayed there..thus, I bought myself a lovely Black Sapphire Stars with Zirconian stones..the amazing thing is, it costs me only THB 1300! (equal to RM130)

~~ Karon View Point ~~

Cashew Nuts Factory

After splashing money at the gem factory, I was about to experience another event that makes a difference in my life! The Bungy Jumping! Ever since I was in NZ, I was always so excited at the thought of trying those adrenaline rush activities..I had done the jet boating, zorbing and the swing but never had the opportunity to jump from a high cliff (or in this case - crane) to experience one of the most thrilled (and dangerous) activities in the world! well..the adrenaline rush wasn't that good since I was shaking and trembling during the whole process of tying up my feet and risking my life on a piece of thick rope...whoa! what an experience...the funny thing is, I saw Yani did it first and I went for 2nd, and after watching it..I was tremendousky nervous that I even left a will (sort of) to Kak Salina, to tell my mom that if I died, she would have to claim some amount of money from my insurance company! Haha...so much for a bungy jump!

selepas aktiviti ala-ala bunuh diri bungy!

that's the smile of satisfaction with our certificates to prove to the world that we actually did it! hehe..

I did it! Yeay!

different types of bungy jump that u can do here..

well...everything that is risky has always had the after effects...so did we..it turns out that bungy jump is not really good for the body because of the impact that we experience while jumping and bouncing off the ropes...Yani had gum bleeding and something went wrong with her eyes capiliry and I had body ache all over..plus, it made my fever shot up high! All day long after the bungy, there was very little energy left for me to endure another half day activties...while shopping at Cashew Nut Factory, I had to sit down and wait for my friends...I couldn't enjoy the different flavours of cashew nut ( what a waste!), and I had bought only two packets of it..(duit dah habis + takde tenaga dah nak berjalan)

the 2nd day, we went to Phi Phi Island cruise tour (snorkelling, swimming & shopping!) for the whole day..Honestly, Malaysia's treasures of sea creatures and coral reef are so much more beautiful than Phuket..Redang Island is 100% better than Maya Bay/ Kai Island...even the water taste different! The Andaman Phuket's sea is triple saltier and more concerntrated than our Malacca Strait or South China Sea...I even got virus infection in my throat after coming back from Phuket..and I had to use crystal to cure the infection since it was really bad..I lost my voice completely for a week..and now I know how it felt to be a mute person..had to use body language all the time..hehe..

the 3rd day was even better - we went to James Bond Island...it was beautiful..the island was named James Bond because it had been the location of the 2 Bond movies...by the way, Maya Bay had also been a location for the movie entitled "The Beach" starring Leonardo De Caprio..we were the only Muslims on the boat among the tourists!..The good memory of this day was we met Uncle Boo and Irene, the old couple from Sweden..we even promoted Malaysia to them! they were so nice and they always wondered how could we wear full clothes while swimming and canoeing since most of them were wearing swimming suit/ bikini..well..that's the good thing of travelling, right? Dakwah secara tidak langsung...hehe...

The trip came to an end when we had to head our way to the airport to catch our flight back home..we arrived at LCCT at 11.45pm...and the journey was really memorable despite the early challenges..bye bye Phuket..

commitment freak?

2011-01-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

takutnya bila fikir soal jodoh...

benar, itu yang terpahat dalam fikiran saat orang bertanyakan perihal teman hidup...mungkin sebab itulah istilah pernah bercinta atau ada pakwe tak pernah ada dalam diari kehidupan ini hatta walau ketika begitu gembira melayari kehidupan sebagai pelajar di rantauan...pernah jatuh cinta itu benar, ianya pernah terjadi dalam kehidupan...akan tetapi perasaan yang hadir ketika itu tidak pernah terluah pada empunya diri, lantas pendekatan mendiamkan diri sering diambil..bukan apa, kita ni bukanlah cantik meletup ala-ala pelakon sinetron Indonesia gitu (sedar diri nih..), jadi perasaan takut ditolak atau istilah kena 'reject' tue lebih menguasai dan tidak sanggup pula untuk menahan rasa malu kalau benar di'reject' oleh si empunya diri...maka, perasaan itu hanya diketahui oleh teman-teman rapat sahaja (Ummi, Baya, Aida, CikYam)..tidak terluah dan hanya mencintai dari jauh...

makanya, sampai saat ini pun tidak pernah sekali pun ada 'boyfriend'...memang ada yang ingin tolong jadi telangkai, memperkenalkan kepada calon-calon yang sesuai..tetapi saat perkara ini dinyatakan, perasaan takut sangat menguasai diri...kalau orang lain mungkin excited, tetapi diri ini lebih kepada takut & suspicious...alkisahnya sehingga kini masih sendiri & memegang title 'miss'

tapi diri ini tak kisah pun..sebab sangat yakin pada janji & ketentuan Allah SWT...andai ada jodohnya, maka pasti akan berjumpa dengan soul mate yang sehati sejiwa dan hidup bahagia selamanya..insyaallah...

cuma, ketika ini, saat ini, sewaktu ada yang ingin serius berkenalan, ntahlah..hati seperti tertutup...tiada sebarang perasaan excited atau gembira..malah, takut pula yang menguasai diri..makanya, (wondering nih..) am i a commitment freak? takutnya untuk melukai hati manusia lain dan takut juga dikatakan tidak bersyukur atas nikmat pemberian Tuhan...

-- dilema seorang anak gadis yang tersepit antara kehendak sendiri dan permintaan orang sekeliling...takut dikatakan terlalu memilih dan tidak tahu bersyukur..tetapi, suara hati ini berkata, salahkah jika kita memilih? *sigh*

when it will be my joyful day?

2011-01-03T17:07:00.000-08:00

i am a mess...

i miss my holidays, form 5 students who already left the school and i am in great dilemma

i can't get myself, my mind and my heart straight & focus...

my heart is stubborn, arrogant and conceited...

i expect too much, i want the best yet i don't really deserve all that (even if i'm working hard to make myself deserve that)

i want great things, perfect life yet I am far from being perfect...

i am choosy, haughty and proud

i am indeed egoistics and ungrateful...

Fantasy is so cool that I refuse to wake up from the dream...

am i allowed to be forever in dream, and never come around to reality?

I just want something like JGS & PSH, or JT & XJ...can't I have it in reality?

adios...

2010-12-22T06:34:00.000-08:00

i am missing SBPISB right now...

and more so...missing the Form 5 2010 students who already finished their high school officially last Monday (5 syakirah) --- honestly, when all of u are gone, life moves on...but still, there will be something missing in my days...and honestly, I'm going to miss 5 Hidayah a lot! and I'll be missing the moments when I passed through all the form 5 classes on my way to Bilik Guru with deafening noise from them...plus, sometimes, the cheeky greetings from the lot like Azam, Asyiq, Afiq Tapa and the list goes on (few examples given - couldn't possibly list out the whole names..)..

it will be the same when I miss the 5 Rahmah 2009 peeps like Azem, Syafiq Affandi, Ummi, Ariff, Afham...(just to name a few) and also the 5 Syakirah 2008 (those pirates - they called themselves that) with Hakim, Syapeq Z, Nad, Atin, Jijol, Awan etc...

the truth, everytime when the Form 5 students were about to leave the school, I couldn't hold back the gloomy feelings whenever I see them...somehow, in some ways, I'm gonna miss them a lot because they are a part of my wonderful life...they made my days in every aspects possible - bad 'tudung' days, mad days, busy days, hungry days and LAUGHTER and HAPPY DAYS!!!

and this year, it's the 5 Hidayah that I will miss the most (not to be biased, but I've been with them for TWO Great years to be compared with other classes)...but I will also miss 5 Rahmah and 5 Maghfirah because they taught me many things even though my times spent with them were short...and I'll definitely miss 5 Taufiq and 5 Syakirah peeps as well based on their personal attributes...

one thing for sure, they are all great dudes and gals because they are SBPISB students and they are parts and pieces of my life..

and I wish them all the best in everything they do...please do take care.

adios, sayonara, goodbye, so long, farewell...til we meet again..

when I am not so occupied...

2010-12-02T10:02:00.000-08:00

life as you see it...

when you've got too much times in your hands

and you've got to laze around

developing yourself as a couch potato

ah..you've been blessed

with blissful life..

yet, I am not the one

who is content

to just do nothing

when there should be something

that could be beneficial

out there

something that I could really treasure

indulging myself

devoting my talent

expanding my potential

spreading the goodness

to the universe

uhuks....boringnya cuti panjang..when I was too occupied with loads of things, I grumbled...when I've got tonnes of work, I complaint...yet, when I've got too much free time...I still complaint! am I being ungrateful?

honestly, two weeks of free, leisure time is enough for me...otherwise, I'll turn to be dumb...

as a result of my current state, I have finished watching Syungkyunkwan Scandal - my latest addiction on Korean drama and already rewinding the animax Prince of Tennis (of which, I have seen for countless times --> those Seigaku regulars *Ryoma-kun, Tezuka-kun, Fuji-kun, Momo-kun, Kaidoh-kun, Oishi-kun, Inui-kun, Eiji-kun, Takashi-kun*)

and the obvious one should be this - updating my blog at 2.15 in the morning while everyone else is sleeping soundly..fuh! what a life...

still...this is the life that I love and treasure so much...Thank You Allah...I will learn to appreciate things as they are..

*Peace*

are you truly Malaysians?

2010-12-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

I wrote this entry long time ago (before 31 August 2010) and I only have today to post it..a litle bit late for the issue but I still want others to understand how important for us to feel good about our country, Malaysia

If you were born today, which country would provide you the very best opportunity to live a healthy, safe, reasonably prosperous and upwardly mobile life?

(Quoted from – Newsweek, August 23 & 30 2010 issue.)

Well...based on the question above, what is your choice? United Kingdom? USA? Japan? Malaysia? My choice...would always be Malaysiaku yang tercinta...no matter what happens, no matter how bad our situation is, Malaysia is always the best country for me to live in...Patriotic huh? Yup...can't deny the fact that I am truly Malaysian...hehe...

Actually, where do we rank in this International Rankings for the category “The BEST countries in the world”? (This survey was conducted by Newsweek Magazine)

We are no...37! Not bad eh?

I asked this question to my students – sadly enough, many of them don’t have high opinion of our beloved Malaysia...many guessed that among the 200++ countries in this world, we were ranked at 100++...now, I am wondering, aren’t they proud of this beautiful and harmonious country of Malaysia?

I am for sure, very proud and very happy to say out loud that I am MALAYSIAN! And I really LOVE this country...we are small (in sizes), yet we are unique...we have many cultures and races...we are considered rich in so many things! I am lucky to be Malaysian, because I get good pay as a graduate teacher (Alhamdulillah...very thankful for that), I can afford to pay for my own car, food, and some allowances for my mother...and some for sharing with others (belanja la adik beradik & kawan-kawan)

Malaysia – is the country that is so easy for the Muslims to live and practice their belief...Mosques and Musollas are everywhere even in a supermarket! Go to MidValley (my favourite), I can pray comfortably at Jusco Musolla...all in all, I’d say that we can shop and have fun altogether and yet, we can afford NOT TO NEGLECT our duties and responsibilities as a Muslim (in performing ‘solat’)...as for Halal food, even though nowadays, many issues of Halal food outlets are being discussed, we still have lots of choices as compared to other countries...as for me, now, I am being more careful and choosy..I opt for restaurants that have HALAL signature from Jakim/MAIS/MAIPP etc....and there are plenty of them that we can check in the directory...

As a Malay, I am lucky for I can eat all types of food particularly the Chinese and Indian food anytime I wish because these food are available everywhere 24/7. I don’t have to travel to China or India to eat Bukhara Briyani or the scrumptious dim sum... (the Halal one, of course)...
Hell...as for education, we have better freedom and better opportunities to change our social status as long as we really WORK HARD to achieve success!

comparing the living expenses, hell yeah...Malaysia is way cheaper than our neighbouring country, Singapore! even Phuket is also expensive..a town house costs you RM1400 in Phuket...well, in KL, if we pay that much, we'll get proper house/apartment with decent community..

I am indeed, LUCKY!!!!

And I believe that it is not only easy for the Muslims, but it is also easy for other races that are practising other religions as well...because our country never stops the citizens to practice their belief...

Truthfully, I am sad when many of my students seem to underestimate our beloved Malaysia...it seems that they are not proud to be Malaysians! How could they? And for me, they are not patriotic enough! How sad is the situation? They are proud of the UK, Japan, Korea etc.but not Malaysia...when they give me this type of response; there are only two questions that I could ask them:

1- Have you been to the other countries? (UK, Japan, Korea etc.)
2- What are the contributions of these countries to you and your family?

You know what? 99% of these students responded NO/NEVER to both questions! How pathetic! Never ever been there and yet you are proud of these countries, not your own homeland!!

You might wonder why do I bother about why we should love Malaysia and so on?

The answer is because I am freaking patriotic of my lovely Malaysia!

And I am talking about this issue because I hope that Malaysians should realize how lucky they are, to be a part of the small community of Malaysia!

I am not just giving you empty talk as everything that I have said here are based on my experience living abroad during my study and based on my observation while I was travelling to different continents of the world (and insyallah...I will keep on travelling to enable me to see this “Bumi Allah” and gather more beneficial knowledge that I could use and share with “anak-anak bangsa”)

Singapore maybe more advanced and systematic than us in many aspects, but do they have their own designed, national car? We have PROTON and PERODUA! And it is difficult to get Halal food and proper place to perform solat...as a Muslim; this is definitely NOT my place!

Well...LONG LIVE MALAYSIA...keranamu, kami bangsa berjaya...(hayati lirik lagu Keranamu Malaysia)

As to my students, well, they got free lectures from me because they don’t love Malaysia enough to salute our country and be proud of our achievement!...hehe...

random talking...

2010-11-17T23:37:00.000-08:00

salam..

it has been so long since i was writing in this so called "digital diary" or as Sopi @ Saufiah, a friend of mine called as "Tinta Digital"...hehe...memories..memories..memories...

all the SBPs got a week off earlier than the other schools in Malaysia...the moment I am writing this entry, I am in my grandma's home in Penang, using my cousin's, Faiz, laptop browsing the net, sitting on the hard floors in front of the switched on TV (which nobody is watching the programme being aired, such a waste! - I am a green person!!), trying my best to construct grammatically correct sentences with good flares of language (not successfully done for the moment with so many distractions and disruptions)..my little cousins are running around the house, having the best times of their life while the slightly older cousins are playing football inside the house since it's still hot outside with the temperature that could cause you skin cancer (imagine that! - chaotic situation), and I am stuck here...with nothing is being achieved...I am ducking away from the ball that goes to the wrong direction (at me, obviously)..saving myself (and the laptop) from being hit by the car (the type of car that kids put their feet on the paddle and it moves like you are actually driving it - fuh!), and fighting the deafening noise to enable my brain to function properly..

and guess what? I could write nothinh beneficial so far since I am busy screaming and scolding them from time to time...(huh..sounds familiar? yeah...once a teacher, will always be a teacher everywhere...you develop a kind of bad habit which is scolding+screaming and in the end, you torture yourself by having sore throat)

fuh...it's only one and quarter paragraph...and it took me almost an hour to do it...at my normal pace, a paragraph will take me only about a few minutes to complete..but now..nothing has been achieved so far and the truth is..I actually already forgot about the original issues that I wanna write here...there were originally a few things that I want to write here (definitely not this cheesy and uninteresting rambling of the house's situation right now..)..

the conclusion - I can't concerntrate at all...I keep on deleting sentences that I wrote...I did too many spelling mistakes...I keep on pushing the wrong buttons on this lappy (why is it this Dell Latitude series computer that has the words "Hak Kerajaan Malaysia" on it, so difficult to handle and has sensitive keypad? - my uncle is definitely using the Malaysian Government proerty as his own - wll, I guess, most of are doing the same thing..)..everything is so troublesome...every single thing that I try to do goes wrong...

gosh...I really can't think, I can't focus, I can't write...

sorry for the long silence..and yet, all I do now is writing this nonsense...

but..before I really give up everything about writing for the day..I'd like to wish all the best to all the FORM 5 2010 students...please do your best in your upcoming SPM...take care and see you soon! I love you all...

LOVE..LoV3..LuRve..

2010-08-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

Lord (ALLAH), make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy

- Francis of Assisi -

MOM, DAD and ME! ~~happy family...lalala~~

~~ so true...could never forget a person who has done something bad to me..~~

(sekadar tidak melupai untuk dijadikan pengajaran tetapi sudah memaafkan kesalahannya)

Loving someone/something doesn't mean that you've got to have them, right? (^-^)

Love my students so much (even if I was stern with them - marah tanda sayang tuh..hehe)
Do they love me that much? haha (mode: sentiasa perasan)..

Greatest love is Allah...

it's for you girls - Aunty Aida, Ummi Yakuza, Baya-chan, Cek Yam Ramli

walking down the memory lane...

2010-08-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

spring is blossoming! ~ Wellington Botanical Garden ~

salam...

As I was browsing through my home page, suddenly, my eyes caught on something ...it was a name of a my ‘big crush’ in Welly (long time ago) in my friend list in FB...I should say that the name was a stranger’s name because, honestly, I’ve never been really acquainted with him personally...but yeah, being an adolescent with turbulent hormones at that time, this one unique name did flicker something inside me...haha...but, upon seeing the name, my hand was itching to click on it...and yeah, I did click on it...I couldn’t resist the urge to know his whereabouts, what he’s doing now, has he come back home etc...one thing for sure, he hasn’t returned yet...

I clicked on the video that his friend tagged him with...and seeing his old personality, which is so comfortable with guitar playing reminded me of my good old days in Welly when we had the annual Malaysian Nights organised by WMSO...in the video, he was playing guitar (as usual) while his friend sang...it could be entertaining (seriously) but then, a realization was drawn upon me...it is:

I am no longer the 21/22 year old girl who loved music so much and fun things in a Party (in this case the PARTY means pot luck gatherings at Malaysians’ houses that we used to do A LOT back in Welly). I’m growing old now...apparently, age is catching up with me...I could no longer stand the noise music played by Hitz.fm/ Fly.fm /Hot.fm...nowadays, I still listen to music but I kinda switch my station from Hitz to Red.fm...from listening to the loud music by Linkin Park, Evanescence or Creed, now I listen to Maher Zain’s songs or Taylor Swift or listen to my all time favourite of old boy bands like Westlife...

this is what I mean by PARTY!! Eating Time!!!

Eid Mubarak celebration @ Malaysia HICOM

Gosh...I have changed, right? But I hope that my change is for good...(Insyaallah..)...I can always be the crazy, indifferent, happy-go-lucky, risk taker person I am and enjoy life to the max, but...I could never tolerate loud music anymore...and I realized that since I started my career as a teacher, I try to be the good role model to my students...and I will make sure that I will “tegur” them if they commit a mistake (is it ‘tegur’?? or more like scolding? Yelling? Gosh...I hope my students will understand my motives when I ‘tegur’ them because it seems that my tone sometimes were out of control...)

Vics' TESOL students cohort 1

And back to the vid, I could say that I could never enjoy something like that anymore...and I’m amazed that these people could still have fun with something like that...but then, I guess living abroad with no close relatives, you only have friends and other fellow Malaysians to rely on each other...Life could be tough (I know the feeling so well)...and having fun through that way brings you closer to each other and you feel like you have some sort of similarity that can relate you to home...that’s why they keep on doing the pot luck gatherings and break fasting together even though some of them are already my age or older, whilst the new comers to Welly are much younger than them...but one thing that I hope is, they will never forget Allah SWT wherever they are...God bless them...semoga sentiasa dirahmati, diberkati dan dilindungi Allah SWT...amin...

Note: I notice that he has grown wild beards...it changes his innocent, boyish look with long hair that used to be his image years ago...and indeed, he looks like a grown up man now (sesuai la dengan umur walaupun the traces of boyish look still apparent on his face *smile*)...I wish that despite his physical changes, his innocence, quiet and reserved personality will stay with him...that’s the things that I love most about him *wink*...

my beloved Victoria University of Wellington, NZ (Kelburn Campus)

~~the place where memories were created, experiences were gained, knowledge were acquired... the place that forever will be special in the heart of a girl who embraces her luck, finding true friends and struggling to achieve her dreams...the place that will always be cherished, remembered, well-appreciated by Huda Othman~~

London - Part 2

2010-08-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

a unique signboard in Walthamstow

LONDON - PART 2

Finally, I managed to get some sleep...it wasn’t a good night sleep for I dreamt of unpleasant things on my 1st night here...hehehe...

At 5.45am...my alarm went off, causing me to stir from my sleep...(hebat ooo...pi kerja hari-hari pon takde bangun awal2 cam ni..hehe..) as usual...I still felt sleepy so, I snoozed my phone for a few times...after about half an hour later, somebody knocked on my door...it was pak Uteh waking me up so that I would not miss my Subuh prayer..it was true then, at 6.15am, the sky was already turning to grey with dimmed lights started to stretch on the horizon..

I quickly went to the bathroom, grrr...the cold water running down my face the moment I washed my sleepy face again reminded me of Everton Hall...gosh...I forgot how terrible this situation could be...taking ablution or a shower was the most miserable thing for me since my days in Welly...the cold water could be vindictive enough to my body...at these times, even the hot water couldn’t help much especially when the cold water & hot water tap are separated...why can’t they just combined those two into one? It makes life a hell lot easier and less depressed...

At 7a.m...I was ready...but my mind was not functioning well...the cold was killing...and the grumbling stomach was driving me nuts...I was like the starving giant; trapped in the North Pole...breakfast would not be ready until 8am...before I went down to the living room, I glimpsed through my room’s windows and saw the colonial buildings (the type of buildings that I admire) with brownish old bricks – the typical English-style house design..what a view! It took my breath away..Subhanallah...

Later on, so as not to waste time, Mak Uteh & Pak Uteh suggested that we explored the Walthamstow suburb for a while before it was time for breakfast...I couldn’t agree more..by the way (BTW), from Trinity House to the town was about 3 mins walking distance...

So, we started our journey that morning – walking slowly until we saw a lane covered with red bricks only for the use of pedestrians. ..on the left and right sides of the road, there are lots of buildings – shops, market, barbers, sundry shops, small bookstores, restaurants etc... well, walking down the cobblestone streets reminds me of Manners St. in Welly...feels like walking down the memory lane...imagine that a small suburb outskirt of London, could offer so much beauty for the eyes to feast...allahuakbar (God is the Almighty)...I really loved what I saw...

Well...as a tourist, we must act as tourist! ---> that’s my principle when it comes to travelling!

Based on the above principle, yes, we did act like tourists!! We took photos practically everywhere! You name it – the map, the bus station, the shops and even the signboard (this is a MUST – as a proof that we had been there! hehe)...we definitely had the time of our own, never ever bothered with those piercing eyes, staring at us as if we were clowns – those were the locals, apparently.

in front of lines of shops @ Walthamstow suburb

At 8am, we walked back to our B&B...my stomach again started new rhythm...this one, it resembled the sound of a train ~~choo choo train..lalala~~ I was totally, definitely starving!!! Walking back to the House, my teeth were shattering – the great combination of hunger and cold weather! (note: the temperature was about 4`C at that time with gentle breeze)...grrrr...

see? I told u...taking a photo at a signboard is a MUST! =)

with Mak Uteh - somewhere near our B & B

The moment I stepped into the House, the nice smell of lavender welcomed me and of course, the warmth radiated from the centralised heater also felt like an energy booster for me.. not wanting to wait no more, I dashed straight into the dining room and voila! – The bread was ready... *smile widely*

I ate 4 slices of bread – it tasted so wonderful...until that moment, I realized how much I miss the bread from Welly (we used to eat a budget bread called “Pam’s” back then)...honestly, the bread from these countries taste much better and tastier than Malaysia bread (not to be ungrateful but seriously...even Gardenia couldn’t compete)...It tastes softer, smells nicer and milkier! And the butter as well – so soft and delicious, even thinking about it right now drools my saliva...

Well...the stomach is full, the body is warm and whoa! – I’m all set for the day’s journey! =)

in front of a supermarket @ Walthamstow

English-in-Camp SBP 2010

2010-08-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

salam ramadhan..

last week starting from 6th-8th August 2010, I attended EIC SBP 2010..

KISAS - the host for the year...last 2 years, INTESABER was the host for the programme and it was a memorable event...why is that? it's because we are the different one!!! teachers and students slept in tent..most of the activities were done outdoor...however, the teacher broke into the hostels at nights, refusing to sleep inside the tent, under the shining stars..typical of English teachers eh? hehe...

however, this year programme is back to normal, we slept in the hostel..and most of the activities were done indoors...in the classroom..but the good thing was the facees are the ex-KISAS and other SBP students..so they know how this programme runs...and it is also good because the participants could get extrinsic motivation from them since most of them are currently studying overseas or doing their A-Level/ foundation /IB before flying...

group discussion

the EIC participants were all excited...they got to know new friends..and some even got new admirers..haha..typical teenagers, that's normal...=)

as for me...at first, I was totally reluctant to join the programme...why? I was busy with school activities and these had taken up my energy and I was deprived of sleep for days already...and true to form, I caught cold and running nose during my stay in KISAS!!! what a life...

however, Allah has always known what's good for His servant...once I got into the dorm, I met Kak Nurul (SERATAS) and combined with Kak Ennie (KUSESS), voila!! we created havocs and experienced fun things together...hehe..our trio was completely known and became apparent to others as we were the friendly, cheeky and laughable ones..(ewah..puji diri sendiri nih...hahaha)

the programme went on smoothly as planned...and it turned out to be hillarious when we got to know new friends that can click with us..one of the unforgettable experiences is when we went back 15 mins earlier from the "Discovery Trail" activity @ Taman Bandar Diraja Klang...since we were hungry, sweating, and my skin already felt like sizzzling hot meat, we decided not to wait for the participants to end their Pirates thingy...hence, we walked back to KISAS using the same route that we came earlier on...unfortunately, the stray dog chased after us!!! what a mess, you'd imagine...we screamed at the top of our heart and went frenzy! I just ran everywhere that my feet could take me, without even caring for a moment about the passing cars along the road...and all those cars had to stop suddenly because of US!!!! luckily, none of us got injured during that time...if not, I would definitely sue the Klang Municipal Council...hehe...for 26 years of my life, this is the first experience of mine, being chased by a stray dog! phewww...

discovery trail @ Taman Bandar Diraja Klang

in the afternoon, I slept for 3 hours! hahaha...cover balik semua penat berlari kena kejar dengan anjing tue...

at night, another exciting activity was visit to i-City, Shah Alam...it could be more interesting if only the boring public speaking were cut short and we would have extra time exploring the lights and take photos...but overall...it was something new to me..

visit to i-City

on Sunday..we departed back to school after Zuhur prayer...what a relief to finally go back to my comfort zone in SBPI Sabak Bernam..=)

and the best things of all that happened in EIC are:

1- students enjoyed the programme

2- Baihaqi was famous! Loud applause was given to him when he walked on stage to get the certificates!hehe..he was famous for his easy going nature and warm personality..good job, Bai =)

3- Ezlyni grabbed one of the three trophies for the Best Log Book award!

hehe..gembira sebab INTESABER is not the 'cikai' school...we made ourselves distinguished and outstanding among the pool of great schools there..=) Siapa kata kita tak boleh lawan KISAS, MCKK, SSP etc? hehehe...Yakin boleh!

Hail to the Girls...

2010-07-29T23:24:00.000-07:00

Just a little something to share...something that I think is true and honest...

~~ which is our choice? the BEST or the ROTTEN ones? fikir-fikirkanlah...~~

"GIRLS ARE LIKE APPLES.

the best ones are at the top of the trees.

the boys don't want to reach for the good ones

because they're AFRAID of falling and

getting HURT. Instead, they just get the

Rotten apples that are on the ground

that aren't as good, but easy so the apples

at the top think there's something wrong

with them, when in reality, they're

AMAZING they just have to wait for the

right boy to come along, the one who's

brave enough to climb all the way to the top"

~~ find your true love in companionship of a man who will guide you through days and nights, honest and true...and thank Allah for the gift..for HE is the purest love of all.. ~~

melancholic...

2010-07-21T20:32:00.000-07:00

salam....

erm..I was thinking to continue my writing about the trip to London but then, changed my mind...

suddenly, after reading that entry, it sounds arrogant, vain, too proud of the materials possession even though at first, the intention was totally different...I was thinking of penning down something that I like - travelling and the experience that come with it...however, maybe the way that I put it was vain...

I am feeling blues nowadays...always feeling that I lack of something in this life...then something hit me! It is not money, wealth, companionship etc...but it seems that I am lost...

Mungkin terasa betapa jauhnya diri ini daripada Allah...terasa terlalu lama sudah meminggirkan Dia...melupai-Nya dalam kesibukan dunia, lupa mensyukuri nikmat kurniaan-Nya...

Astaghfirullahalazim...apa nak jadi ni?

It's true indeed that I was super busy since the second semester of the school session started weeks ago...

I was busy catching up with the world...the painstaking tasks that never end (marking, camping, school activities and the last straw is the crucial and tiring preparation for the SBT)...

SBT - took up most of my time...I haven't slept properly for days... (finished the files-finally, last night at 4.30am and only got 2 hours sleep). It just feels like my student days where sleeping for a few hours at night was a normal thing...yet, it has some differences...among them are, as a student, I could take LONGGGG nap in the afternoon after class...but as a working woman, I couldn't do so...time is no longer a treasure that I own...my time is shared with others especially my lovely students where they take up most of my time - classes, extra classes, Oral and so on.. (but, it's ok...I love spending time with them)...

Indeed, this hectic lifestyle is fun (especially when you are in good company of great colleagues like the bunch of happening, energetic teachers of SBPISB – really grateful to have them in my life)...

But, these endless tasks are pushing me away from HIM...terlalu leka dengan keindahan dunia dan kesibukan yang tiada batasan, menjauhkan aku daripada-Nya...

However, come to think thoroughly and wisely again, those are not the reasons to blame for my lack of Iman and Ibadah (good deeds). I, myself is the only person to blame for everything that happens. Even if I was busy, I shouldn’t neglect my responsibility as a Muslim...Even if I have lack of sleep, I shouldn’t poison my soul...and even if I am ecstatic with life, I shouldn’t pollute myself with too much fun till my heart turns black... so, whatever the reason for these morose feelings to develop, it is ME who is to blame!

Wake up Huda...life is too short...the life in ‘akhirat’ is everything, more than anything else in this world...wake up Huda...find your soul...wake up Huda, discover yourself again...wake up Huda, Allah is the most generous, He will always forgive those who repent after making mistakes...it is never too late to change to be the better Muslimah! =)

A servant - still struggling to find herself in the eye of Islam

Check out this song from Maher Zain – ‘Always be there’ (the song that I am currently listening to..and very inspiring)

Allahuakbar (11x)

If u ask me about love
And want to know... about it
My answer would be... it’s everything about Allah
The purest love... to our soul...
The creator of u and me
The heaven in the whole universe
And the one that makes us whole and free
...the guardian of his True believers

chorus :
So...when the time gets hard
And there’s nowhere to turn
As he promises you...He will always be there
To bless us with his love and his mercy cause....
As he promises you...He will always be there
He’s always watching us, guiding us
And He knows what’s in our little hearts
So when you lose your ways, to Allah you should turn
As he promises you...He will always be there

To bring us out from the darkness
Into the light...subhanallah...

He would know everything
We should never feel afraid of anything
As long as we follow his guidance all the way
Through our short time we have in this life
Soon it's all will be over and will be
And this heaven we'd all be fine

So...when the time gets hard
And there’s nowhere to turn
As he promises you...he will always be there
To bless us with his love and his mercy cause....
As he promises you...He will always be there
He’s always watching us, guiding us
And he knows what’s in our little hearts
So when u lose your ways, to Allah you should turn
As he promises you...He will always be there

Allahuakbar (11x)

*repeat chorus

LONDON - part 1

2010-07-09T06:32:00.000-07:00

**note - I have been trying to wrirte down about the trip for ages but couldn't find time to do so...here's the story of the journey...**

L.O.N.D.O.N. - a trip of a lifetime...

(9th March 2010 - 11th March 2010)

London time : 12.50am (10/03/2010)

Part 1

Finally!! I’m in LONDON!! Hello London! Wait till I explore every inch of the place!

I still can’t believe it – me, in London!!! Yup...that’s right...it is spelled L.O.N.D.O.N

One of the busiest cities in the world, and the famous one, too! =)

London – the city with its famous double-decker red buses, the red telephones booth, the guards with furs & red suit (wonder why it has always been red!), the black ancient taxis or simply the famous London Eye (yeah...it is similar to our very own Eye on Malaysia)...

All this while, it was only a dream for me to come here – well, actually, I’ve never thought that I’d be here...well, with our small currency (RM) as compared to Pound Sterling (£), and with my career as an ordinary teacher, I had never thought that I could be here – having vacation overseas, paying my own expenses with my hard-earned money.

It’s not that I’ve never been overseas before but the feeling now is quite different...before this, I studied in Wellington CBD, NZ on scholarship basis...and I made sure that I maximised the use of the money to travel around the country and also the neighbouring country, OZ...hehe...but as a student at that time, the money spent was budgeted tightly and somehow, I never really give it a thought...Once me and my coolest roommates of Flat 41 Everton had the hunch, we’d just pack and travel (backpacking style)...even sometimes, when the money was low - only few NZ dollars left...*smiling fondly over the memories*

But now, as a career woman, my mind works differently...every single cent earned is valuable, and I really have to be wise in controlling my finance so that I could shop lavishly and not become broke afterwards...hehe...and Thank You Allah for the ‘rezeki’ and opportunities to be here, to do something that I love apart from teaching – travelling! =)

~~~~ Now, I am all alone in my room (in the Trinity House B & B @ Blackhorse Road, Walthamstow, east London). The room is comfy. Mak Uteh & Pak Uteh are in another room downstairs (I’m on the top floor) while Pakcik Bad & Pakcik Asri are one floor below me...

It’s so quiet now for it is already past midnight...everybody is asleep and so does this small suburb...I can’t sleep even though my loyal watch shows 1 a.m. already...why? of course it is due to my imbalance hormones! I am over excited and the other reason is because I have slept for more than 8 hours in the flight from LCCT – Stansted Airport. Now, I am wide awake, feeling fresh!

My room has a closet attached to the wall, a TV (don’t think that it can be used – tried to switch it on just now but nothing happened), a make-up dresser and a heater! (it’s not that warm – I can still feel the chill)

It’s cold, it’s quiet and I AM HUNGRY! The last time I ate was in the airplane, 3 hours before landing time...gosh...*am imagining how tasty the Chicken Biryani was...yummy* The estimated temperature at the moment is 4`C...grrrr...*reminds me again of the good old days in Windy Welly*

Can’t wait to explore London & visit all its attractions in the morning!

Oh yeah...before that I have to print my booking room email from AirAsia 1st – the Indian lady (maybe the landlord) doesn’t accept my handwriting info that I gave her...hey! I think she doesn’t like us – the Asians because we made quite a noise when we first arrived (I am being prejudiced here)...she looked rather annoyed when we checked-in just now...or maybe it is because we were disturbing her sweet dreams when we rang the bell at 11.30pm!

Well...what to do? We had to! Our plane landed safely at 9.50pm @ Stansted Airport and it took hours to deal with the Custom & UK Border Agency, and being in this strange place for the first time, we took quite a long time to decide how to go to Walthamstow...

Hell yeah...Hello London! Here comes lunatic Huda to discover this place...

Indeed...Life is beautiful ~~

with Pak Uteh in front of our B & B - The Trinity House, Balckhorse Road, Walthamstow

the view from my room early in the morning

arrival - @ Stansted Airport

waiting for the luggages - Stansted Airport

????

2010-07-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

salam...

after such a long time (feels like forever...)finally, i've got time and the internet connection to at least pen down my thought here...

betol la kata hadis:

"......lapang sebelum sibuk..." (quoted only part of it..)

this week and last week were the hectic days for me...
tonnes of works, I felt breathless..tired+sleepy+moody+stress

hahaha..those are all negative feelings...

salah sendiri jugak buat kerja last minute...

marking papers should be finished before school hols - tapi..berjoli sakan punya pasal time cuti tue...tegendala kerja..

monday morning, the first day was the black monday...(no longer monday blues..)
program anak angkat...marking...buat modules...pastue weekend camping @ manung (among the best experience...laughing all the way throughout the programme...) konon2 nak marking time budak buat activity, last2 tak tahan godaan, terjun main air sampai kecut tangan+kaki semua..hehe..

even though life was a mess, disorganised..but...i love everything that had happened...
walaupun geram markah budak2 macam hampesh sahaja..tapi tetap tak sampai hati nak marah lebih2 especially 5H..(gosh...5R 2009 was soooo not lucky last year...hehe)

till then..tada..

the dilemma of a Malay girl..

2010-05-25T08:44:00.000-07:00

"ish...hang ni gemuk la...debab!"

"hah...tembamnya budak ni.."

those are a few examples of typical sentences often associated with me...i have to admit, at times, these "cruel" sentences kill me - figuratively speaking...it kills me in term of self-confidence, personality & characteristics.

however, i am lucky for i don't succumb into the situation..instead, i retort because i don't believe that a woman is beautiful if she is a fashionita or a stylish, up-to-date person...(look at Victoria Beckham or Kate Moss- i don't see them as beautiful even though they spend millions of dollar for the sake of fashion)

instead, i believe a woman is beautiful when she is smart, intelligent, able to take care of herself...a women does not neccessarily need to be a soft, demure, gentle person to be beautiful...demure, gentle, soft - those are the traits that come in package (call it mutated genes)..because not everyone has that...some people say that we could train ourselves to achieve the desired results but hey..you are lying to yourself if you force yourself to be someone who is NOT YOU!

it is enough to be kind-hearted, honest & possess warm personality...it would attract people to us just like a magnet...having those characteristics are enough to me us become adorable...(for as far as i am concerned)...no need to change yourslef to be OTHER people if you are not happy about it...it will only bring you misery & suffer..

in today's world..it seems that being a beauty is essential in order to get married...as if beauty is the only element that people see in a person to ensure that particular person is the perfect one as your soul mate? hey..i thought marriage is more than that? marriage is a pure bond between a husband and wife where they walk this world together, sharing the life through thick and thin and stay true to themselves and be blessed by Allah..

so..is being beautiful is enough for us to hitch a husband? is that the purpose of finding a beauty to be our husband/wife? so that we will feel proud showing off our spouse to others?

so..those who are fat, chubby, less beautiful are unlucky? (hell yeah..is it true that these people are unlucky?) well..define the word unlucky first...

someone said to me:

"Huda..kawan ****** dulu tembam mcm Huda la...lepas tue, dia jadi kurus..la ni ramai orang berkenan kat dia.."

---> hello...it seems that those who are thin are more desirable than the fat ones? somebody has to enlighten me about this with hard facts if she/he ever gonna win the debate...

yeah..being a 26 year old woman with no string attached to anybody currently makes people ask FAQ ...

"kenapa takde calon lagi? Huda ni memilih sangat kot.."

---> great..now, i am accused of being choosy...but wait a minute...aren't we supposed to be choosy about our future spouse? i believe that we have to be compatible with each other in many aspects (sekufu) before we can consider to take serious steps in our relationship...i seek someone who can click with me..bear with my upside down emotions, share my humor, appreciate me for who i am (even though I am not that good looking),arguing the life in his witty & cunning ways... and able to tolerate my insanity at times...and i'll do the same for his sake...

in another situation...

"Huda..umur macam sekarang ni..kena pandai 'pancing' tau.."

---> gosh..now, finding my soul mate is being compared with my fishing skill..hell yeah..i am never good in fishing (literally speaking)..and i hate fishing..is it that simple? i still can't comprehend those who think like this..

ok..ok..i undesrtand the use of methaphor "pancing" here..it means that you've got to have skills to woo a guy/girl...and sorry, i don't have the skills..as far as I am concerned, I am a conservative Malay girl who would never dare pick up the first line..
why is it that people care so much about when a girl will get married?
with whom she get married with?
why isn't she married even if she is already pass the age?

it is all fate...there are reasons for everything tha happened in this world... God knows better..

so..stop asking the FAQs...stop bugging me with the same sentences for millions of times..stop saying that you actually care about me when the truth is that you are being busy body..

i am happy the way i am even if it means i am alone..

i believe that when the time comes...it will be...until then..shut up...

HELICUS - helium circus...

2010-05-09T16:57:00.000-07:00

the CLOWN of the day - Hafizul Asyraf

salam...

i have been trying to talk about this special event, SBPISB sports day that had been held on the 25th April 2010...however, the Internet server (again) hinders me from doing this..actually, it is because to upload the pictures take a long time...it is testing my patient for many times *sigh*

every year, I have never missed any Sports Day event...and I LOVE so many things about it...from the strating of events (i.e. Sukantara, the planning of the themes for 'Hiasan Khemah'/'Kawad Kaki' etc..)..these things are meticulous, tiring, yet it is fun...we can see students will be anywhere from the 'Bengkel KH' to Music Room til the dorms...papers are everywhere, students are walking faster than usual (in order to meet the deadline) and the teachers...voila...we'll be running here and there managing other duties...

here in this event as well...we can see students' cerativity...sometimes, the end result will be something so unique and so unthinkable (well..at least for me..)...there will be circus (Helium), the aborigines village (xenon), egypt (kripton) and Hawaian beach (aloha Radon!)...it wow us, seeing these students working so hard to win! a healthy competition indeed..

this year, I was involved with 'Hiasan Khemah' since there was no more Cheerleading...I admit that I left the students to work on their own at first because I was not in school for many days (Volleyball MSSD was on at the same time)...I didn't see the beginning process...at last, a few days before the event started, then I did have time to have a look at what was going on in Helium...

and...watching each and everyone of them (especially the form 5) worked so hard touched my heart...without even a single teacher's supervision, they were totally independent...they never complained, they were being humble...alas, their work were marvellous..even though there were a few flaws and imperfection but to me, that was good enough... (e.g. the clown head was too big & couldn't stand because it was heavy)...it is OK to make mistakes because they are still in the process of learning to become great engineers & architects in the future (insyaallah..)... how could you expect the 17 years old students to build perfect miniatures with little budget and incomplete tools? but..Bravo and well-done to Ayin & Zuhairi for their good work...the Helium circus was great!

personally, I think that these kids are incredible...and I am proud with them...and proud to be a part of Helium members..

the end result for marching competition - Helium got no. 2.

in the middle of the process - everyone was tense, but there was somebody who was able to neutralize the situation by cracking spontaneous jokes (to Hafizuddin - thanks for the quirky act...sempat lagi mencapap di saat2 kritikal..hehe)

I like this situation - the committment & the cooperation among the Helium members are evident when they tried to put up the clown face..

special dedication to: Ahli-ahli rumah Helium yang telah bersusah payah menjalankan tanggungjawab & berusaha menghasilkan yang terbaik..

(F5 - Afiqah, Amirah, Fatin, Aimi, Farah, Ainaa, Fadilah, Izzaty, Anim, Hazarina, Zuhairi, Ayin, Bob, Zulafifi, Azizudin, Izzat, Ikram, Fitri Aiman, Hafizul, Riyadh,Hanif, Nuruddin dll...maaf kalau teacher tak ingat semua...but I really appreciate your effort & your hard work...)

to the rest of Helium members - remember to always work hard and do your best...and success will be yours...even if you lost, it doesn't mean that it is the end of the world..it doesn't mean that you fail..and NEVER GIVE UP no matter what happens...itu semua hanya ujian utk kita semua..

and to all INTESABER students (the Xenons, Radons, Kriptons)..well done for the great job that you have done...because of all your hard work, the event was beautiful, memorable and Happening! =)

loving and enjoying every second of the moment...=)

life oh life...

2010-05-03T21:52:00.000-07:00

errmmm...

what would you do if tongue slipping happens or people misinterpret your meaning?

yeah...i have to admit that reading people's thought and actually listening to their tone has great differences...

reading - we can make our own conclusion...people might misinterpret your intention...you might just want to joke on something but some people interpret it as something serious..or worse, our written thought or comments may hurt other people...

in this situation? what would you do?

alas...sometimes, it is the only way that we could express ourselves...

me, myself..for once...i love to say what i want to say...and writing it down gives so much satisfaction..and that's why this blog exists...

but i have to admit...i also have my own private convensional diary where the only person who has the access to its content is ME..(erm..do i sound selfish & arrogant?...erm...*thinking hard*) this one magical book has all my deepest, darkest or perhaps, dirtiest secrets ever...nay..I'm lying..(am I?)

as an individual with close realtionship with family, everything or anything that my uncles or aunties or cousins or even the slightest thing that granny says will leave quite a big impact to me...or maybe in some cases, it will leave a deep cut in my heart...and time will heal (this is the principle that i strongly believe)..yeah..as time flies, the cut will heal...but the scar is there...

every comments that families made about me is vital to me...it is important to my image, my persona and yes...it is important for me to appear *KIND* or *NICE* in front of my family...even though it means that I am PLASTIC...so that they would not think that I am a *B***** one...(yeah..how hypocrite I am..)

the truth...

I am SO SCARED that my actions or words will hurt any of my aunties or uncles or cousins...I will try to be nice...I try to be warm...because families to me is the must-have elements to be happy in life...and all my uncles and aunties are just like my mother and father...hurting them means that I am hurting my parents...but deep inside me..I AM AFRAID...so, I scrutinsed myself a lot (at times, it feels like I am torturing myself...) it is excruciatingly tired..

so what? just be nice and kind then...avoid hurting their feelings...(probably, that's what people would advise me)...hell yeah..talking is easy...I am for one, a person with bad mouth (Mulut laser - kata orang Melayu)...so..do you see what I mean? I will always hurt people with my comments (verbal or wtitten).. because for me, I would love to be honest..

but sometimes, my comment was meant to be a joke...
but people think of it in different direction..
hell yeah...life is tiring...

what would you do if this kind of thing happens?

*bila nak berubah? Bila nak jadi muslimah yg baik nih?*

the forgotten love

2010-04-27T01:45:00.001-07:00

Today is Tuesday – 27th April 2010...

This morning...it was so calm, serene and cold...the moment I woke up, it started to rain...later on, when I was ready to get back to work, it was already raining cats and dogs...

The sound of the falling rain...the cold...and the smell of my Johnson’s Baby Wash...These combined elements...it brought back the memory of L.O.V.E...The one memory that I had fought so hard to forget... somehow, this forgotten memory reminisce itself into my brain...dragging me into the blues mood...as a result, I turned to be forlorn for the whole day...

It all happened when I just got back to Malaysia...fresh from the overseas experience; love is not something I was looking forward to... I was eager to meet my former friends more than anything else...but who was I to avoid the fate that was stored for me...coming back to the college means that we were the oldest (super duper hyper) seniors [yeah...minus the KPLI students of course]...

Prior to this, I had experience that the Malay guys are typical...they are always looking for beautiful, fair, slender girls...they expect the girls to be obedient, loyal, demure, the perfect “Wanita Melayu Terakhir”... in my eyes, these people expect a lot from a girl but they forget that they also have faults...they are not perfect either...egoistic, vanity and autocratic...that’s the typical Malay guys..

“Jangan diharap suami semulia Rasulullah jika diri tidak sehebat Khadijah, jangan diharap suami sekacak Yusuf jika kasih tidak setulus Zulaikha.......”
(Quoted from: Ustazah Mariah...yang hujung-hujung tu tak ingat la...hehe)

The above phrase is exactly what I am trying to explain....even though it applies to girls, but otherwise, the same goes to guys...

But OK...we are allowed to dream, right? But dreams alone are not enough...we need to change to be better if we really WANT the best spouse, right? I don’t know about others...but that’s what I believe...

And...for that reason, I had never been in a serious relationship with a guy and had never been in love as well...a crush is normal for me because this thing does not last long...the longest would be for a few months, but more often, it is only for a few weeks...but falling in LOVE is never my thing...I had never felt that...neither do I look forward to it...

How arrogant I was...

Volleyball court/ gym – the meeting place...

It was a must-do thing for me to go for volleyball practice every evening (to the point in which I’d rather not go to MV just to have fun in the court)...

For the first few days, I really had fun with my old friends...going to the court means having a good laugh...it is true – laughter is the best medicine...I let out my true colour...laughing hysterically because of a silly mistake was normal...soon after, the other juniors from other cohorts joined us...the small group expanded into a large happy family...

One fine day - I saw him on my way to the court...his prominent feature were his high-cheek bones and protruding eyes... I was stunned...he caught me off guard just by flashing his sheepish smile......then, days after days he started to join us at the court...even though he was more into badminton but I guess our laughter was so contagious that he couldn’t resist the temptation to be a part of us...

Every time he was around, my knees were trembling, hands were shaking...and there was a butterfly in my tummy...my heart beat faster as if I was going to get a heart attack... it was true then, I was attracted to him first because of physical appearance...but as time passed by, I got chances to know him better... the more I know about him, the more I became infatuated by him...by his humour (never thought that he could crack jokes), by his warm personality and of course, his eyes...

At that time, I could only wish that he would notice me for who I am...I wish that he would not be the typical Malay guy...but I also realised that I was never good enough for him...he was too perfect – it was almost impossible for me to reach out for him...thus, I could only admire him from far...For the first time, I was really in love...this is the love that I could never have the guts to show or express...

How crazy I was? Imagine it to the point where I would always stand by my room’s windows just to get a peek at him when he walked his way to the ‘musolla’...or I would deliberately went to the toilet (down in the dungeon) below the library just to catch a glimpse of him...or the favourite place was when I waited for my dinner at Scud cafe, I would cast anxious glance towards the entrance wishing that he would drop by...in some way, I had become a stalker!

Hell...yeah...all my BFFs knew that I was so smitten by him...except that they were so good in keeping their lips tight in order to preserve my pride from being called “Perigi mencari timba”...and for that, thank you SO MUCH...you guys are awesome!

Apparently, I guess he knew my feelings towards him although I never breathed a word about it...I believe that his instinct was good...

I knew no matter how smitten I was, I would never have the future with him...apart from the feeling of inadequacy, he was getting ready for his study abroad...he will leave the country for quite some time pursuing his future while I’d be ready for my teaching career (oh yeah..btw, he was 2 years junior my age)...and most importantly, he would never see me as “special” - the same way I saw him...

He left the country. The last time I saw him was at the KLIA. Sending him off was not easy but I knew that I had to do that or I’ll regret it for the whole life. The last photos that we took together at the airport showed other signs – from his smile, I knew that I will lose him forever. Yeah...my future will never be with him...it hurts so much, I wish I could turn back time and had the guts to tell him how much I adore him...how much I wanted to be ‘the one’ for him...but as a typical, conservative Malay girl I am, I would never have the courage to do so...

After his leaving, my heart was numb and cold– he had taken away the big chunk of it and I never get back the missing piece...of course, there are pressures from family who want to see me getting married but somehow, it is difficult for me to open up my heart to others...there were a few guys after him, and I tried to warm up my feelings, harbouring my emotions but...my heart was so stubborn, it refuses to re-grow the missing parts of it...it feels as if I was up against a wall. I am stuck.

I live in denial...even though I say repeatedly to myself that I am over him (it is already a few years), I will try to avoid reading anything related to him... Even now, I still have the goose bumps whenever I see him online (in FB) but I never have the nerve to pick up the first line...thus, I could only yearn for him in silent...oddly enough, watching his name appears on my screen makes me nervous and happy...at least, I know that he is very much alive and doing well...and I wish him all the happiness in the world...May he will always be under the love and protection of Allah...

Today...I am a happy woman with satisfying career and wonderful students to fill up the empty spaces left by him...with my busy schedule, I often forget that not long time ago, this one person crossed my path and left quite a big impact in my life...once, I was weak because of him...but now, I understand that he actually taught me to be patient in life...Love is not only about two people having the same feeling but the is diverse....

“Kadang-kadang kita mengeluh mengapa bumi ditimpa hujan...menagapa matahari enggan menampakkan diri...tetapi kita tidak tahu, rupa-rupanya Allah ingin beri kita keindahan Pelangi...”

I have found the new love of my life – my lovely students...and of course, my beloved family (^0^)

T.A.M.A.H.O.M.E. – he is the forgotten love

True fact – can you believe that one of my students has the same name exactly as his? It is not a common name but yeah...coincidences do happen in life...

penantian...

2010-04-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

PENANTIAN SATU PENYEKSAAN

salam...

I have just finished talking with my BFF - Aunty Aida...

It has been quite a while since we had this long conversation over the phone and talking to her , transports me back to the days in windy Wellington...where we will talk about lots of things (mostly gossipping....hehe)

And I almost forget how understanding she is...I am lucky though to have crossed my path with her...being a part of her life (thank God, Uncle Ikmal is so understanding & wacky as well, we could have the same opinion...and...at times, we also fight for Aunty Aida’s attention...*big grin*)

And it is even more sweeter that until today, we are still the best friends ever..

(EVERTON HALL, flat 4 - the fantastic four of Flat 4... Ummi Yakuza, Baya-chan, Huda Hoods and Aunty Aida...haha...that's our nickname that describes our special friendship...hehe...syok sendiri)

well...

As some other people have done the same thing...she complained that I rarely update my blog...

*sigh*...the truth...it's not that I do not want to update it...but the piles of work that need my attention have really taken up most of my times...plus, the other painstaking tasks leave me breathless, exhausted me and pushing me beyond my limit...as a result, Iwould prefer to use the extra time that I have to recharge my energy by having a really good sleep..*smile*

And another reason why sometimes I feel fed up to update the blog is because of the internet connection...the Celcom broadband is way too slow...it puts my patience on the edge of breaking point...even now, when I’m trying to update my Kaspersky Anti-Virus, there is still very little progress with the indicator still shows ...updating 10% since 52 minutes ago - *fuh...heaving a heavy sigh*

Living in the end of Selangor territory (in an area called Sungai Lang, Sabak Bernam just next to the Malacca Straits)...there is no such thing called 3G...so, for the rest of the process...I’ll just leave it to your own imagination...

Benarlah kata pepatah – penantian satu penyeksaan...

note: even though I am far away from modern cities (2 hours drive from KL / Klang)...with no Secret Recipe, no Macdonalds, no bowling centre, no 3G access, no favourite San Francisco Coffee cafe and bla, bla,bla..(the list goes on..)

BUT...life in here in so peaceful, beautiful & wonderful...falling in love with the place everyday...

masih kah ade yang sanggup........

2010-04-12T07:05:00.000-07:00

masih kah ade yang sanggup????

**** i got this email quite a long time ago from a friend of mine..and i thought that it's good..so, let's share...may we get something beneficial from it...

Kisah berlaku waktu satu rombongan guru pelatih membuat rombongan ke tempat bersejarah. Bila sampai ke tempat yang dituju para guru pelatih mendapati tempat tersebut merupakan satu yang tidak pernah dikunjung oleh sesiapa...lengang, sepi!

Maka guru pelatih bermula turun untuk melihat kesan sejarah yang ada di tempat tersebut. Pada permulaan, mereka berkumpul bersama melihat kesan sejarah yang ada. Lebih kurang sejam selepas itu mereka berpecah menuju ke tempat sejarah yang mereka sukai.

Nak jadi cerita, seorang guru pelatih perempuan yang begitu tekun mencatit dan mengarang maklumat yang ada pada kesan sejarah tersebut, tanpa disedar,dah tertinggal.

Yang trainer pulak ingat semua cikgu-cikgu dah ada dalam bas, so mereka bertolak untuk balik.

Cikgu pelatih yang tertinggal tu mula gabra...menjerit sekuat hati, cemas giler panggil kawan-kawan dia dan pelatih yang lain. Tapi hampa.

So dia tekad berjalan nak keluar dari tempat berkenaan menuju ke kampung berdekatan. Sejam berjalan tetapi masih tidak menjumpai sesiapa. Startlah letih dan menangis panggil mak ayah.

Pusing pusing nampak satu pondok kecik berdekatan dengan tempat tu. so dia pegi ketuk pintu. Keluar seorang pemuda anggaran umur linkungan lewat 20an dan bertanya: siapa kamu? Jawablah cikgu tadi yang dia tertinggal bas rombongan, dan tak tahu nak pulang.

Berkatalah lelaki tadi bahawa tempat yang ingin ditujunya berletak di selatan dan tempat mereka berada di utara, dan tempat tu memang tak didiami sesiapa. Maka menangislah cikgu tadi bagai orang hilang akal...

Disebabkan kesian, lelaki tu menyuruh cikgu tadi bermalam dipondok dia je sementara tunggu subuh untuk di hantar pulang.

Cikgu tu disuruh tidur atas katil lelaki tersebut manakala lelaki itu tidur atas lantai berhamparkan kain je dan ambil sehelai kain lain digantung sebagai pengadang tempat tidur antara dia dan cikgu tu.

Lelaki tadi duduk dipenjuru pondok dan membaca buku. Yang cikgu tu tutup seluruh badan dia ngan kain gebar menahan menangis dek takut dan tak henti matanya mengawasi lelaki misteri tu.

Tiba-tiba lelaki tu tutup buku dan pergi kat lilin yang menyala dan membakar jarinya satu persatu...

Cikgu tadi apalagi, bertambah kecut perut takut kerana berfikir bahawa lelaki tersebut mengamalkan ilmu songsang.. mengeletar giler maut... Maka kedua-duanya tidak tidur sehingga pagi...

Bila menjelang pagi lelaki tersebut menghantar cikgu tadi ketempat asalnya.

Bila dah sampai rumah, cikgu tadi pun menceritakan apa yang terjadi kat mak bapak dia. Bapak cikgu tu dengan seribu satu persoalan mengesyaki sesuatu berlaku, sebab tengok anak dia nampak sakit, pucat lesi dan takut amatlah sangat.

Si bapa pun pergi ke tempat yang dimaksudkan anaknya tu. Menyamar sebagai pemburu yang tersesat dan bertanya tempat tuju. Dalam hati si bapa tadi hairan tengok jari jari tangan lelaki tadi berbalut dan bertanya kenapa...

So, lelaki tu pun cerita bahawa dua malam lepas datang seorang perempuan cantik elok paras rupa untuk tumpang bermalam dipondok beliau. Dan sudah tentu pada ketika itu syaitan iblis sudah berada bersama mereka. Disebabkan takut terjadinya perkara yang tidak diingini berlaku, beliau membakar jarinya satu persatu supaya dapat menghindarkan diri dari berfikir memperkosa perempuan tersebut.

Mendengar penerangan lelaki tersebut si bapa mempelawa lelaki berbalut jari itu datang kerumahnya dan berhajat mengahwinkan anaknya kepada lelaki tersebut.., tanpa pengetahuan lelaki tu yang bahawasanya perempuan yang akan dikahwininya adalah perempuan yang menumpang tidur di katil nya 2 malam yang sudah.....

MOTIF CERITA

Beruntunglah lelaki tersebut kerana menghindarkan diri dari melakukan benda haram satu malam, dan dia berjaya mendapat sesuatu yang indah dan halal seumur hidup... ..

---> adakah lagi lelaki seperti ini (*wink*)

the fighter...

2010-04-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

salam..

Yesterday, in the midst of hustle bustle of the staff room a.k.a "Bilik Guru", (the normal recess chaotic with many students and teachers going in & out) suddenly there were so many noises sprung up..

what were they?

oh yeah..the commotion were the sounds of music from many laptops belonging to different people:

Zali's laptop was playing the "Rock Kapak" songs - among the songs was my favourite "jiwang karat" song entitled (if I am not mistaken) "tangga- tangga menuju bahagia" by Alleycats...hahaha...see? how "jiwang" am I...[kuikuikui]

Kak Mariah's Real Player on the other hand was playing another series of my favourite songs as well - the Nasyid...

listening to these Nasyid tune...all of sudden, the memory with my roommates in IPBA - (with Che Yam, Aunty Aida & Mama Kinah being the coolest and wackiest mates ever) came into my mind...it was playing the images as if I was watching a big screen in the cinema..

the song...the melody...the beautiful lyrics...and the crush I used to have on Tamahome at that time...(haha..there goes my secret - openly revealed & publicly exposed to everyone)

W.A.N.I.T.A (Insan Istimewa) - the title of the song by DeHearty...here is the lyrics that always gives me the tingling sensation whenever the song is on air...

Kau digelar sebagai penyeri dunia
Hadirmu melengkap hubungan manusia
Bukan sahaja dirindui yang biasa

Malah Adam turut sunyi tanpa Hawa

Akalmu senipis bilahan rambut
Tebalkanlah ia dengan limpahan ilmu
Jua hatimu bak kaca yang rapuh
Kuatkanlah ia dengan iman yang teguh

*Tercipta engkau dari rusuk lelaki
Bukan dari kaki untuk dialasi
Bukan dari kepala untuk dijunjung
Tapi dekat di bahu untuk dilindung
Dekat jua di hati untuk dikasihi
Engkaulah wanita hiasan duniawi

**Mana mungkin lahirnya bayangan yang lurus elok
Jika datangnya dari kayu yang bengkok
Begitulah peribadi yang dibentuk

Engkaulah "wanita istimewa"

Didiklah wanita dengan keimanan
Bukannya harta ataupun pujian
Kelak tidak derita mengharap pada yang binasa
Engkaulah wanita istimewa

Sedarilah insan istimewa
Bahawa kelembutan bukan kelemahan
Bukan jua penghinaan dari Tuhan
Bahkan sebagai hiasan kecantikan

how meaningful the lyrics is? It feels like WE (the women) are being appreciated, well loved and taken care for...

somehow, probing the thoughts into this song enlighten me with the universally acknowledge truth that women are physically weak (as compared to men) but...the perseverance, the courage and the determination is as strong as "the man of steel"...it connotes the idea that giving up hope is the last option available in life...

how true is that? To name a few, take the proof from Fatimah Az-Zahra, Sumaiyah, Aisyah RA and the other legendary models of Muslimah...

however...even if the concept is resolute and indomitable, we cannot deny that women also have faults...strong indeed but fragile at the same time...advises and guidance from the men are undeniably indispensable in the process of developing a personality that could be honoured, respected and venerated..

yes..in today's challenging world, we are challenged and pushed beyond our ability to sustain ourselves from being swept away by modernisation...thus, many of us failed the test put on us...

the result - read the headlines of current issues printed on the newspaper...close proximity is common...cohabitation is becoming a norm...in the name of modernisation and the struggle to adjourn ourselves into the 'in' world, we trade in our values along the way...we do not want people to call us conservative hence we put our honourable teachings in jeopardize...

is it that bad?

but remember...we are the WEAK ones even though we are also the strong ones..we have the tendency to be easily lured by temptation and LUST...we are the FORGETFUL ones as well...we forget most of the times...

so please...remind us of our mistakes...educate us for our lack of 'akal'...and lead us to mould our 'iman'..

but please...don't judge us for our imprudence...don't punish us for our idiocy...instead, guide us to the love of Allah..

women...wake up...come to our sense...change ourselves to be the deserving servant of the Almighty and redeem the rewards afterward...

Insyaallah..may all of us will be blessed...ameen...

falling in love all over again..

2010-04-04T02:16:00.000-07:00

how could I...

how could I resist being in love with this profession? (proud to be a TEACHER)..

how could I ever live my life without their wacky & lovely presence?

how could I ever deny the fact that without them, my life is just an ordinary one?

how could I ever say that these people meant nothing to me?

how could I ever survive if they were not around with me?

how could I live???

here are some of the evidences that these young adults are really good in persuading me, making me laugh again after a week of cold treatment for them?

they are the rainbows of my life after the rain...

~~these pictures are the evidences that these people know how to touch the hearts of others through their actions...

~~ the gifts, the chocolates, the teddy bear etc....those are not important...but the words written here means A LOT to me ~~

~~ ini ialah 'bribe' dari anak-anak didik 5 Hidayah 2010 - 'bribe' sebab nak pujuk teacher lepas kena 'jerkah' tak siap homework..ngee =) ~~

teringat the similar situation that happened with 5 Rahmah 2009 - they were scolded severely for not completing the tasks given to them...in the end, I received a 'LOVE LETTER' from them...ngee...

*sigh* - teacher Huda memang suka 'mengamuk' kalau tak siap kerja dia..hehe...

buat anak-anak didik sayang - mereka yang pernah memanggil gelaran keramat 'cikgu' / 'teacher' untuk diri ini....TEACHER SAYANG KAMU...walaupun teacher garang, walaupun teacher marah, walaupun teacher tak nak senyum atau bagi 'cold treatment' pada kamu lepas kamu buat salah...tapi, itu sebagai cara untuk menegur dan mendidik...teacher tak pernah simpan dendam, tidak pernah menghakimi diri kamu...apa yang teacher harapkan ialah semoga anak-anak semua jadi insan kamil yang cemerlang, gemilang & terbilang dunia dan akhirat...ameen...

(gosh..my BM is worse..those sentences might be the imitation of Ustaz Ahmadi's words...but that's how I really feel about all of you..)

** falling in love all over again...

SEKSA nya jadi CIKGU...

2010-04-01T01:53:00.000-07:00

salam...

it has been a while since the last time i wrote in this blog...

actually, i wanted to write so many things but due to time constrain, i was tied up to many never ending works...gosh...time flies..and it seems that nothing has been achieved so far..

--> the HEM files are still incomplete..
--> the English panel files are still unmoved since last january..
-->the students' homework are piling up on my desk...untouched for weeks already..

the result = my life...is a complete mess

what happens? too many programmes to handle at the moment

recently, the HOT news that is fast spreading like fire is the issue of TEACHERS:

**** teachers are being burdened by loads of work (no surprise here, since I've already experienced and talked about this so many times before) - refer to Berita Harian edisi 01/04/2010..front page lagi..

**** but there are also news that condemn the teachers...telling that our complain is irrational & irrelevant because all the extra work that we've been doing now
(i.e. co-curricular & clerical tasks) is a part of our duty...

**** some say that our pay is the 3rd highest after doctor & engineer (it states that the basic salary is RM2500- RM2700 - which is so NOT TRUE) ---> for this article, refer to this link:

http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2010&dt=0329&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Pendidikan&pg=pe_01.htm

(title : mencemburui gaji guru - honestly, what is there to be jealous about?)

but here is the truth:

I DON'T MIND if the extra work is TEACHING (even if I was given 28 periods - solidly used for P & P..it's still bearable even though it is TIRESOME - because I love spending times with my students)

I DON'T MIND if I have to do the extra classes for the low-achievers (because I believe that I could help them, hoping that with my little help, it will ensure that their future is brighter than ever)

I DON'T MIND working extra hours on certain days (at times, from dawn until midnight especially during the annual events such as English-in-Camp/ Hostel Open Day/ Sports Day / Hari Anugerah Kecemerlangan etc.)...It is still fine even though it means that my feet are swelling from standing & walking for the long day...or when the dark, circle ring will be visible around my eyes - the consequence of lack of sleep for days..and many more...

to do all these...I DO NOT MIND AT ALL...

but...

I DO MIND if I have to spend most of my times doing the clerical work such as completing the files for the Nazir to check (who, rather ALWAYS complain than giving positive feedback or guidelines)...doing these clerical work is time-consuming with meticulous details, sometimes, the irrelevant information etc...I prefer to use this time to do ABM (alat bantu mengajar a.k.a teaching aids) or cracking my head on finding ways how to make sure that my students would understand the grammar lesson/literature component or how to make my students stay awake the whole periods and so on...

THE TRUTH - bukan senang menjadi seorang guru yang berhemah, berkebolehan, berbakat & disegani pelajar mahupun rakan sekerja yang lain..

and for me..I am just an ordinary teacher with nothing special except that:

+++ I have passion in carrying out my duty & responsibility
+++ I love my job so much until I don't think that I can do any other thing except teaching
+++ I have wonderful students who light up my days (and who also 'sakitkan my hati' at times - but still ok)
+++ I am with great company (the teachers of SBPISB who are also my good friends)
+++ Not to be forgotten - my BFFs (aunty aida, baya-chan, ummi yakuza and other IPBArians & fellow Victorians)
+++ the most important of all - MY lovely mom & beloved family members - the Ali's family)

and for all these..I am grateful with this blissful life
and...because of these...

I CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF TEACHERS

GURU = K.A.M.I = JUTAWAN AKHIRAT (insyaallah...)

note:
---> just finished EiC PMR 2010...

the line up work ---> Kawad kaki peringkat sekolah (tomorow), district level (next wed), Sukantara (19- 24 april), volleyball district tournament (22-24 April), sports day (25 April)..then..ready for the Mid Year examination..

with the list like this...adakah kami (para guru) masih boleh dilabelkan mempunyai banyak ruang masa untuk bersenang-lenang sedangkan untuk makan juga perlu mencuri masa?

AND do you wonder how come i still have time to write this entry? the reality -- i am juggling three different works at this time - i am currently printing about 450++ certificates for tomorrow's marching competition (with school's old printer - believe me, the speed will make the tortoise laugh) while watching the teams doing their practice and writing this journal in between..

gosh...never thought that i could be a multi-tasker & superwoman...

around the globe

2010-03-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

T.R.A.V.E.L.L.I.N.G...

is my passion (apart from teaching, of course)...it's the zeal of my life...for the adventurous species I am, travelling is a must do thing for me...different people hold different view...as for myself, I believe that travelling WILL broaden my mind, enhance my experience & enrich my life..

seeing the wild world, experiencing the distinguish cultures, smelling the different air, tasting the exotic cuisines, meeting the throngs of people from all walks of life --- this is all a euphoric sensation to me...it feels like a drug; my own, distinguished, customised drug...obviously I am addicted to it...

I wish...I could travel to these famous, most-talked places one day... (insyaallah - God willing, He will grant me my wish)

the dreams....

Mekah (with my beloved mother)

Switzerland

London & whole UK

Rome & Portofino, Italy

Frankfurt & Stuttgart, Germany

Beijing, Guilin & Guangzhou, China

Melbourne & Australian Outback

Niagara Fall, Canada

Korea

Japan

Danau Toba, Indonesia

Besancon, France

Scotland

Macu Piccu, Mexico

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Egypt

Turkey

Colorado, US

Millford Sound, NZ

again....Wellington, NZ (missin' everything about it already - the air, the place, the people, the lifestyle)...and Queenstown (the bungy & The Remarkables)...

chutzpah

2010-03-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

NKI ke-30 : interesting, fascinating, colourful, fruitful, headache, fever, too many silly protocols, heartache, suck

that's the wrap up of the grandest event of the year

*** sorry for this bitter point of view of mine - mentally disruptive & emotionally explosive at the moment

hell is on my way...

2010-03-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

inferiority complex, low self-esteem, feeling of inadequancy - these are like infectious diseases, or pandaemic virus that are always tailing me all this time..it would spell the disease into one word - F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

the result of frequent encounters with this affected syndrome leads to isolation, ignorance and indifference [sigh - imagine how bad the effects are to me? it is like a tumor in my body - dangerous and it's like a silent killer]

people - so unique and different we are...and i always wonder why do they have no other interest other than poking their noses and meddling with somebody else's matter? definitely, that's the spice of life, i guess..

comparing people - there are pros & cons of it..

personally, i would think that comparing one person with other individual is good BUT...differenciating people for their not-so-good attributes could be irritating, annoying, a pain in a neck & in some cases - SUICIDE...

even most of the times, comparing means a way of complimenting others, however, if we put on too much emphasis on a person's negative traits it could KILL that person's personality - figuratively speaking...killing in the sense of demolishing a person's virtues, damaging an image and crumpling self-confidence of oneself..

why oh why...manusia itu suka melihat keburukan yang sedikit ataupun kesilapan yang jarang dilakukan berbanding dengan kebaikan yang banyak yang dilakukan oleh seseorang individu itu...why focus on a single, decayed tree when you can see the goodness of whole forest

why oh why...physical beauty is the prominent comparison of all..especially for girls..why do people rate someone's beauty? why does it matter so much? who the hell are we to have the rights to do that? (after all...we are just human...manusia biasa, hamba Allah)...beauty - it is the God's gift, the art of Allah's creation that is perfect, and could never be achieved by humans...

SO WHAT if I'm not beautiful?...I'd say that I'm charming enough to fascinate people, drawing them close to me...

SO WHAT if I'm not thin?...I have never dreamt opf becoming a stage, catwalk model, showing off their fake, perfect skin...

SO WHAT if I'm not a typical, gentle, demure, soft-spoken Malay girl? ...I'm still an independent bug with virtues & principles...

SO WHAT if I'm not the glamour engineer, driving posh cars?...I'm still a citizen who contributes something beneficial to the society...

SO...WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME BECAUSE OF MY UNAVOIDABLE SITUATIONs? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO PUT THE BLAME ON ME?

whatever it is, pleaseeeeeeeee...DO NOT COMPARE people for their bad quality, instead look up to the brighter side - their traits that will produce something valuable for the nation; be it BIG or SMALL...

REMEMBER- DON'T BE A KILLER!

note: sorry for the bad language used in this entry..i'm under the negative emotion with raging turbulence hormones that is affecting my whole system now..

feeling of caca-marba

2010-02-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

salam...(the new beginning to be a good muslim..hopefully..=)

Selamat Menyambut Maulidur Rasul to all..(selawat ke atas baginda)

1,2,3...testing...
huwaaa..(crying sign..err..figuratively speaking)..

while others are enjoying their long weekend with beloved family (3 days weekend...huuu..), i have to stay at the hostel, taking care of the students who refuse to go home for the weekend..i'm on duty this week (it is "balik pilihan" & there are only 12 girls left)

i would be lying to the grave if i say that i didn't grumble when i heard that there would be only 12 girls left in the hostel for the weekend...i protetsted the number (it is very small amount..) i felt that my time here would be wasted and not worth it...

as usual..i GRUMBLED, COMPLAINT and became MAD...to the point that i thought that i would scold these students for making me stay...(luckily, i didn't..actually, i don't have the heart to do so, seeing their pitiful faces, looking so innocent & so pathetics..)

then..today, three of them requested to go for outing at Sg. Besar..their resons - to buy things for 3K asrama...to beautify their dorms for the competition that will take place next Saturday (06/03/2010) for there will be hostel's open day a.k.a festival (HARI TERBUKA ASRAMA)...what is funny was they handed a letter to me to have this request (they put it under the door at my house..hehe.. takut sangat kat warden dia agaknya)..

again...it tested my patience...i was so lazy today..i only thought about watching TV and finishing the task of marking paper Ujian Selaras 1...alas, after thinking thoroughly, at last, i gave in..poor them..they must be desperate to buy all those things..and i took them for shopping at Sg. Besar...what had TOUCHED me was, they bought me "Air Jambu Special" as a way to thank me..(according to Ilham)..HOW THOUGHTFUL...in the end, i ended up treating them for food - we ate at Restoran Sri Kassim (they had roti tisu & i had plain roti canai)...

somehow, i realise that to be a MILLIONAIRE is NOT easy...i had to sacrifice a lot of things...things that I love most - [i.e. going back to my hometown to be with my family]...and it would be a BIG LIE if I say that it was OK to stay here while other people are having great time with their family while i am here - with 12 girls as my companion...

TERKILAN - that was what i felt at first because i am missing my mom and my tok at 'kampung' already...truthfully, I MISS THEM A LOT..i planned to visit them this weekend before making a trip abroad next week..but, Allah has another plan stored for me..but now, i am 'redha' for this..it is my duty & responsibility after all..and it is because I want to be the patient person who would be a MILLIONAIRE someday..insyaallah..

***********************************************************************************

enough of that, now i want to talk about my recent activity:

i have been reading a few blogs that i found really capture my interest - i love the way the authors are writing their entries...they have vast knowledge of many things, they sound sincere & they appear genuine...and their writing is intriguing...and somehow, they touch me with their words...they make me feel challenged (not in the sense to be the great writer like them) but i feel challenged in the sense of trying to improve myself to be a better person...

how do i describe what i feel? well..it is indescribable..it only can be felt, but not to be expressed...err...do i sound crazy? whatever..

need something refreshing? you might want to check out these blogs:

Haruman Mawar - http://niqobgirl.blogspot.com
Sejernih Air Yang Mengalir - http://kejernihanku.blogspot.com

may we all get something from READING from them...

as i have always believed - READING WILL...

"enlighten us from the dark, enhance our knowledge, enrich our experience, widen our perspective of the world & life in general..."

and last but not least, it will HELP A LOT in SPM exam...phew! (to my beloved students - please bear this in your mind as i have often reminded you the same thing for thousand times already)

till then..jaa...have a nice weekend, everyone..=)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**** promo - Hari Terbuka Asrama Intesaber 2010 will be held on 06/03/2010 (Saturday - from morning till midnight) :

there will be:

~~ delicious food..tasty food...and lots of yummy food...(gerai jualan rumah-rumah)

~~games --> indoor games & also a friendly match of basketball: [Intersaber vs Phantom] - this will happen in the evening

~~ movies watching (latest, greatest movies available)

~~ the most anticipating event of the day - Konsert Nasyid dari Kumpulan Nowseeheart (after Isya')

** every student and ex-students are invited to this biennial event..come and feel the joy, laugh & warmth that we (warga Intesaber) offer..

** jom datang ramai-ramai bagi memeriahkan lagi acara ini..semoga ianya diberkati oleh Allah SWT...amin..

------> the millionaire <------

2010-02-23T05:30:00.000-08:00

aloha...

hailoh...when you see the way i greet people here..it doesn't reflect myself as a Muslim...subhanallah...

well..as a radical & extremely "ganas" person who posseses great stubborness & holds belief that people should voice out their opinion, then i'm one of a kind of people who always be the blacksheep of the family...still, i refuse to change (the palpable characteristics of stubborn indeed)...

i should change...i have to change...i must change...the question is...WHEN?...

another argument within myself - WHY should i change? I love myself too much to change for a better person...an arrogant, proud, haughty, egoistics Huda...[sigh]

ok..i should change...

salam to all...

i've just read a very good entry writing from my beloved cousin's blog [Haruman Mawar ---> promo sis..even though you don't need one, sis..your blog is so higly read & well-perceived by others already...hehe]

10 years she has been tested by Allah SWT to endure painful moments in her life (be it physical, emotional & spiritual)...thank God, she stays strong no matter what happens...she is one of the most patient person i've ever seen...she is neither the one who gives up hope despite her illness nor the one to succumb under great emotional pressures from others...she is indeed the STRONG one..

lots of things that can be learnt from her - especially her patience...

patience a.k.a SABAR- as according to my lovely companion --> the thick, red Macmillan dictionary, this word depicts the ability of someone to accept situations that you don't like for a long time without becoming angry or upset...

subhanallah....begitulah hebatnya peribadi mereka yang diberikan kelebihan sifat SABAR

tidak ada anugerah yang lebih baik selain peroleh sifat sabar

[HR Bukhari & Muslim - quoated from *Haruman Mawar*]

pastinya kehidupan kita akan menjadi seindah alam ini andai SABAR a.k.a PATIENCE itu menjadi tunjang kekuatan dalam melayari bahtera kehidupan

honestly ... i don't have that much patience...i COMPLAINT a lot about my workload, my lovely STUDENTS, sometimes i complaint about other people too...not being grateful for what i have, right?...

i don't have patience with my students - at times, when i'm not in the mood, i could get angry at them easily...some other times, they will have to endure my tantrums...and in difficult times, my sarcastism will be able to kill them [figuratively speaking]

but..these kids are indeed wonderful..they might hate me at times & annoy with my attitude but hey..they keep up with me..trying to cope my ups & downs..and for that i'm indebted to them...thank you kiddos...

as what i have always believed that my profession is a noble job -

"GURU JUTAWAN AKHIRAT"...lots can be done to be the worthy Muslim & retrieve the rewards in the life hereafter..

i could be a millionaire - if only i become more patient with people, with life, with my own unstable emotions...

i want to be a millionaire - be kind to others...treat people nicely and LOVE my mother & family tenderly...LOVE my saviours sincerely...then, i'm definitely on my way to become a millionaire

i will be a millionaire - if only i fulfil the requirement

and to be a millionaire - i have to change for the betterment of ME and people all around me...

CHANGE is needed to become a PATIENT person...

~~still a Muslim who really loves her family & religion & country so much ~~

stop-loss

2010-01-31T18:02:00.000-08:00

stop-loss...

at first, i wonder does eveyrone know what is the exact definition for this compound word? or...err..is it really is a compound word? even though i have a little bit of the linguistics knowledge, truthfully...i do not know the definition of this word...

literally...i would interpret this word as "berhenti...dan kehilangan"...well, since i am a Malay, i have the tendency to translate any English words that are NOT common into my mother tongue because it is easy to do direct Malay translation rather than interpreting it as a word of Queens language..

later i asked my friend (Kak Norin) and my KP (Ketua Panitia aka Head of English Panel, Sir Musa):

i said...."hah...apa maksud stop-loss?"

"hah?..stop-loss? err..apa tue?" ---> Sir Musa's response.

"itu tajuk movie, betul kan?" that's Kak Norin's answer

yup..Kak Norin was right..indeed, it is a title of a movie...and INDEED, this movie does give a lot of information about the situation that is related to "STOP-LOSS"...and as i have watched the entire movie, now i know the concept of stop-loss...

indeed, my wild guess and direct translation of the word into the Malay language was partly correct...literally, it is related to "berhenti..dan kehilangan" because that is the situation of the people who were forced to be involved in the stop-loss " torture event"...the people who are involved in the stop-loss situation are lost indeed...they are suffering horrendous effects from many aspects of life especially the emotional development..they are having hallucination, where many of them are behaving abnormally, thinking that they are still in a war and some also had terrible nightmares...

according to the Wikipedia definition,

stop-loss policy in the US Military term is the involuntary extension of a service member's active duty under the enlistment of contract in order to retain them beyond their initial end of term of service (ETS) date.

in other words, it means the American soldiers are forced to go back to the war zone countries (e.g. Iraq & Afghanistan) after their official time as soldier in those countries are over...they came back home for a while and then, were forced to go back...truthfully, many of them disagreed with the order...they refused to go go back into the battlefield ground...

why do these people refused and there were some of them who rebelled against it? apart from the fact that living in the war zone countries is not something that normal people would enjoy, it is because they already know the truth...the bitter fact of reality is - there is NO WAR...the US government only 'created' the war because of their inferiority and insecurity...after the attack of September 11 (2001), they are afraid that their country will be attacked again...thus, they launched "war of terror" as a part of their effort to protect their people (so they said..)...

some of these soldiers volunteered to go to the battlefield in the first place, convincing themselves that they are actually defending their country and their people...but what is there to fight as there is no real war in the context of military?...at these places (Iraq, Afghanistan), there is only a man trying to protect his family from strangers, a mother struggling to keep her family together, and maybe there is only an innocent son trying to help his father taking care of the family from being hurt by those 'green aliens' in tanks...

now...where is their legal right to live as a normal human being if it is being jeopardised by these so-called "the peace maker?" who invaded their country, testing all new weapons on their land & killing the innocent lives of the country's future generation?

these people...these Muslims rebelled when they are being oprressed..when they cannot work to put food on their table, when their children have deal with 'blind' bullets everyday, when their family cannot sleep peacefully at nights...

as for me, these Americans are arrogant - they think so highly of themselves, they think that they are the GREATEST ONES...if they are truly THAT great and THAT strong, why would they fear of something that is not visible? Why should they be afraid of weak countries like Iran, Iraq & Afghanistan? what do these countries have? they only have the spirit of Jihad among its citizens, ready to die for their belief...they have no powerful weapons, no complicated f4 jet fighters or the B-series of nuclear bombs (e.g. B43, B61 & B83) and so on...but..in my opinion, the spirit of Jihad among the Muslims is the most powerful weapons of all...because it is this spirit that will ignite the flame of fighting towards the end, dying with honour & never give up...SYAHID...

so..stop-loss...is it worth it? some of the unlucky US armies, they refused the order thus, they have to run for their life...running away from their loved ones, from familiar faces as a way to keep alive..they have to give up everything about their former life...they change their identity, change their appearance etc...is it fair to do all these to them?

or the bigger question is...is it fair to have war when there is nothing to fight for? is it worth when the casualties are high and the loss are great...when most of the victims are all innocent?

the Muslims out there...please wake up....rise up to the challenge to help our sisters and brothers in need out there...

semoga suatu waktu nanti akan tertegak kembali sistem khalifah...semoga akan berakhirnya kekacuan dunia hari ini dan bersinar teranglah cahaya keimanan & Islam ke serata alam bumi ini...

i am just a weak, powerless, ordinary Muslim who really loves her religion & country but could do nothing much about it except praying for the bless of Allah SWT...may all of us be under HIS protection, berkah, rahmah & hidayah-Nya...amin...

reference: Stop-loss (2008 movie - starring Ryan Phillippe as Sergeant Brandon King with Channing Tatum as Sergeant Steve Shriver)

another good movie to watch is "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas" (2008) - watch for knowledge purpose only and judge wisely..

...I LOVE YOU...

2010-01-24T18:30:00.000-08:00

once upon a time, the thought of standing in front of a pool of talented yet reckless teenagers with turbulence emotions was a nightmare to me...what else, becoming their "cikgu" / teacher / sensei etc...

that was the situation years or maybe decades ago...when i was a teenager myself - a high school student with own isuues at that time..the idea of becoming a teacher was so outrageous to me no matter how my brain rationalised me..

hey..who would want to be a teacher? the last resort career perhaps...a teacher? never the famous, glamourous, posh & ideal profession to me...

that was back in the early era of millennium

today...it is completely a different story...Apart from being an adventurous species i am (as it is the nature born genes)...

TEACHING now is my passion - something that i really LOVE , ENJOY doing it all the time (if possible)..the satisfaction is tremendous, indescribable and it left me emotionally spent...

a teacher - is not merely about teaching, delivering lesson but at some times he/she has to be:

** actors (in covering up their true emotions while teaching even if they are hurt/happy/sad for the sake of the students)..

** a spy / police (when investigating & handling a discipline case)

** clerk (when all the clerical tasks need their attention)

** lawyer (when defending their acts & facts with parents/students when a problem occurs)

** sports coach (standing at the fields under the hot sun, training the students for a competition)

** motivator (in giving encouragement & motivations words for theirspiritual & emotional development)

** engineer + landscape architect (when we have to decorate the garden to beautify the school)

in conclusion...teachers are everything...nonetheless, i'm not complaining though at times the workload is horrendous and too much (to the point that i thought we were slaves-insufficient wages as compared to the hours we worked)...it is all because of THE SAVIOURS of my life..

every year, there will always be students that would be "the heroes & heroines of my life"...these kids (i always refer to them as kids - for its sounds adorable & friendlier) are my saviours...they are my private knights in shining armour who are rescuing the damsel in distress [that's ME!! ] (O^O) ...they save me in many situations:

whenever i feel down, they cheer me up with the melody of their laugh,

teasing me till my eyes tears

whenever i feel bored, they feed me up with their comical facial expressions,

hillarious actions, spontaneous responses and

quirky shows of behaviour

whenever i am angry, they cool me down with their playful,

mischievous spirit until the crack of smiles

appear on my face

whenever i feel ecstatic, happy, overwhelm..

they will share the joy with me..

making me feel appreciated and loved..

apparently, these saviours have paramount impact in my life..

and for that reason,

thank you..

without the presence of all of you, my life would be dull, boring..without all of you, my life is just another passing stage before the Dooms Day...but with all of you, life is a meaningful battlefield to conquer, a worthy farm to sow good seeds, and harvesting the ripe fruits in the after life...because of you, this is a blissful life..

and for this bliss, there is no regret at all in becoming a TEACHER

*** a tribute to all my BELOVED students (though i am "singa garang" who always tortures you, yells at you, pinches you...but the truth is, i love all of you...)

the obession

2010-01-11T00:14:00.000-08:00

the obesssion continues after a moment of break...due to my duty and responsibilty, i had to stop this fettish for a while...my hands were tight before this but since i am free now, i'll enjoy every moment of fantasy land with Jing Tian (Hu Ge) & Xue Jian (Yang Mi) from Chinese Paladin 3...

the end of 2009 marked the new beginning of my fettish towards the story, Chinese Paladin 3 (aka CP 3)...i have always had this "love" towards the cantonese dramas produced by TVB or anything from the East (Koreans, Japanese & Taiwanese included) since i was a little girl..but my favourite of all are Wuxia & Epics stories (well..i am a history freak)..i still remember the story of Legend of Condor Hero (starring Richie Ren as Yang Guo) when i was 16...or My Fair Princess 1,2,3 (MFP 1 is now being aired on NTV 7 @ 2.30pm weekdays), Gentle Crackdown , Wong Fei Hong, Journey To the West or simply The Good Old Days...

this craze has been with me for a long time...there was a time when i stopped myself from seeing these dramas because there were no good dramas those few years back (when i was in college)...however, this craze emerged again after watching the first few episodes of CP 3...i was hooked on TV practically everyday and i even downloaded it from the net (sadly enough, i've got only 12 eps. with Eng. subs)..

the great thing is, i can share my fettish with my former colleagues Kak Nad & Kak G-Ha...(wish you guys all the best in Tapah)..they are all very much in love with CP 3 as well particularly Jing Tian & Xu Chang Qing...*wink*

i wish...i could have the series...am waiting for the DVD version of it with English subs...

well...PENANTIAN ITU SATU PENYEKSAAN...indeed, it is true

2010-01-10T20:29:00.001-08:00

salam..

finally the battle ends...(fuh..i'm heaving a big sigh)

tomorrow is the day for the last battle of 2009...(so happy)...that means after this, i'll be able to saviour every moment of surfing the internet without feeling guilty, or watching my favourite Chinese Paladin 3 series without worries..hehe...

today..is the day for the new Form 1 students to register in our school...watching their timid faces & still innocent..it reminded me of my own "nightmare" hostel life 13 years ago..no matter however scary that feeling was, it is still the moments of joy that made me who am i today..

another moment that i really love about registration is observing the faces of proud parents...their excitement and thankful expressions are clearly drawn on their faces...something that me, myself feel proud and touched...nonetheless, there are also parents with cynical and sceptical attitude...hoping that everything in this boarding school would be FOC (free-of-charge)...*another sigh*

i understand that it is normal to have the Yin and Yang elements in life (i.e. +ve and -ve)..but, come to think of it rationally, aren't we living in the world of "modernisation" where everything that we do need payment..even if we want to pee, we still have to pay, rite? luckily the oxygen that we breathe in now is God's gift - we don't have to pay for that. (syukur..syukur yg teramat sangat...)

yeah...we've been living on government's subsidies too much until we seem to be unable to stand on our own feet...sorry, i don't mean to condemn on the Malays attitude for i am a Malay too...but, the mentality of depending too much on the government has to be wiped out from our mind...we have to be independent...we should not ask too much help from others...

yeah..maybe it is because i am still single, with no responsibility to hold and maybe it is because i have a smooth-sailing life since i was small (grateful to Allah for this situation), thus making me think like this..i am sorry...but i've always believed that life isn't always easy and for that reason, we have to be ready all the time...

for some parents - they thought that sending off their child to a fully residential school needs no money to spend..how wrong they are...money is essential in today's life...therefore, when they register their child here, it means that they have to be well prepared - mentally & most importantly financially...their child's neccessities, the school fees, pocket money and so on...if we calculate the expenditure, the amount is equal to the daily school (where parents have to pay for the tuition classes, transportation etc)..isn't it just the same?

i'm still single...but i thought that raising a child does need a lot of sacrifices from parents - be it physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially...(and for these reasons, THANK YOU MOM & DAD for being patient in raising me up and coping with my outrageous behaviour)

and a reminder to me and all adults out there:

**** we have to be financially independent - be it you invest your money in properties & you become a millionaiire or if you are the employed worker, you have to be frugal or the other alternative is get married with rich people! (haha..just kiddin')..whatever it takes, be financially secured (of course, according to the Islamic conduct & ethics)

as what i have always believed, conquering the world of economy could enable us to conquer the world...

and insyaallah..we'll be the great Muslims & Muslimah

**recommendation - a good book to read is "Stop acting rich & start living like a real millionaire" by Dr. Thomas J. Stanley.

byebye 2009...hola 2010

2009-12-30T00:51:00.000-08:00

salam...hello...hai...

perjuangan masih panjang tapi masih mencuri masa untuk mengetahui perkembangan semasa dengan melayari internet....

i wish..the 13th January 2010 will come soon! then i'll be "merdeka" on that day...nay, only temporary independence or i'd rather say guilty pleasure for after this, 2010 has so many things to look on and so many agendas stored for us....

i missed the first two days of the school meetings (mesyuarat pengurusan sekolah, mesyuarat HEM, mesyuarat akademik etc....fuh..as usual, there are hundreds of meetings for teachers before the school session begins....that's our routine...something that oddly to say..I LIKE IT...) ...the only meeting that i attended was English Panel meeting this morning

i like being in a meeting even though it takes hours just to come up with a solution for a problem...i like it because it gives me opportunities to be in light, not in the dark...or..easy to say, i am "minah kepoh" because i'd like to know everything that happens around me...err..am i a gossip girl? absolutely, positively, definitely true...i want to know everything that happens to my work place, my beloved students and my colleagues...in some sense, yeah...i am a weirdo...

back to 2009 - so many things happened...so many good and bad memories were created (and will always be cherished), the glory, the failures...that's the spice of life..fisrt of all, congrats to the PMR 2009 candidates who scored great results because all of you deserved it! after so many torture, nagging, motivation words etc. given by the teachers, you guys managed to endure it beautifully...and for the teachers, double congrats because all of you have done the great job!

welcome 2010 - tons of work await the teachers especially the INTESABERIANS because we still have unfinished agendas (e.g. NADWAH) and academic performance to maintain...as what we have been told "we have to work triple harder than the previous years" because it seems like everyone is talking and taking close watch over SBPISB...and i wonder, why is that? is it because we are THAT GREAT...or maybe because we are TOO BAD?...I hope it is because we are the great Intesaberians...

i've just read what ust. Amir had published in his blog that is even though we have so many things to do...accept it with open arms...yeah, i admit that there were rough times when i did complaint a lot about the workload, the students and the admins...because i felt dissatisfied with what they had asked me to do...well, i'm just a normal human who couldn't really control my emotions...however, i hope that with the growing number of age, (gosh...i'm old already) ...i'll mature gracefully...yeah..way to go Huda! chaiyok..chaiyok! (copied from my students who love to say these words)

despite the hectic schedule that will cross my path...i'm still positive and motivated...especially when Ust. Ahmadi came to our English Panel meeting this morning...He told us stories about Gunturian (a school in Indonesia)...a very inspiring story indeed...it is about the school that provides ample opportunities to their students to be able to speak fluently in English & Arabic..they are the Islamic leaders-in-making who will be the great speakers..insyaallah...

now, the Intesaber 2010 vision is "memperkasakan Bahasa Inggeris & Bahasa Arab" or if translated into English, it would be the emnpowerment of English & Arabic languages...i wish.. that next year, the students will be able to do the paradigm shift in every aspect of their lives, not only academic performance but the disipline/spiritual part as well...to be naughty is normal but to a certain extent only and never ever be RUDE...i hope the school will be the helpful environment to students to practice their ability in English and Arabic...

but remember:

this does not mean we neglect our own mother tongue...we are still proud with our unique Malay language...but, we are trying to prepare the new Malay generations who are competent in many languages and thus, indirectly helping them to acquire vast knowledge and eventually becoming the great Muslim & Muslimah of all...Insyaallah...amin..

to all my beloved students...welcome back to another beautiful year of school life...

and to all teachers out there...we are the lucky ones to be chosen in this noble profession because our job (if we do it whole-heartedly and sincerely), will be the seed that we that sow to the life after the judgement day...Allah bless us...amin..

welcome 2010...and byebye 2009

satu pengalaman...

2009-12-23T06:23:00.000-08:00

lega...

that's the only word that can describe my feelings right now....

lega...for many reasons...

dan sangat menyedihkan bila melihat ramai anak melayu ketinggalan dalam arus pembangunan negara kerana kurangnya ilmu pengetahuan untuk menguasai dunia hari ini..

sedih...kerana mereka kebanyakannya anak melayu...tercicir dalam menguasi BI - satu bahasa yang penting dalam era globalisasi ini untuk terus bersaing dengan anak2 kaum lain yang berlumba-lumba menguasai ekonomi dunia..

not being materialistics, but

i always believe that by having the stability in economy we could conquer the world - then we would be able to spread the wonderful world of Islam, the miraculuos words of Al-Quran and the beautiful lifestyle of a Muslim...

because only then, people would see us as the role model, the greatest leaders that could lead the world to peace, to the goodness..

that is what i've always told my students - language is power. you could influence people with your opinion and you could inspire others with your words...

and for me - i'm not a person with vast knowledge of Hadiths, tafsir or whatsoever..for i'm just an ordinary Muslimah but i hope that through my language proficiency, i could spread the teaching of Islam to others...perhaps..(as what me and my friends experienced once while we were in NZ - debating about Jesus (nabi Musa) with a devoted Christian Maori)

sigh...i wish semua anak2 Melayu akan sedar akan pentingnya penguasaan ilmu pengetahuan dan kita tidak lagi leka that dengan kehidupan yang mudah pada hari ini (Malaysia is definitely a comfort zone for the Malays)...sedarlah anak2 bangsa Muslim & Melayu - hidup ini satu perjuangan yang berterusan tanpa ada titik noktah sehingga ke penghujung nyawa..

come...let's go, fight & win..

satria ESQ 165:
go..go..go..
fight..fight.fight..
win..win..win..

sigh...in a few days, another battle begins...

not so over the - "New Moon"

2009-12-01T07:20:00.000-08:00

NEW MOON

i have watched the 2nd installment of the Twilight saga, the most anticipated movie of the year...

well, as a big fan of Stephanie Meyer and of the saga as well, reading the whole series provides the maximum satisfaction...honestly, the storyline is catchy, different and unique...and believe me when i say that i couldn't put the books down amidst of my busy schedule and hectic lifestyle...and it very well meant that i was behaving like a zombie for days - the result of having lack of goodnight sleep...

what an enthralling series...

nonetheless, sorry to the die-hard-fan of Rob Pattinson (Edward) and Kristen Stewart (Bella), this 2nd movie is a BIG disappointment to me...i don't know about other people's opinion, but the movie fails to excite me as compared to the 1st movie...and to my dismay, it never caught my attention at all...

yeah..i have to admit that the 2nd book is not that interesting as the 1st and 4th (my fave of the series)...but truly, the 2nd movie is a total letdown..it did not get to me, my attention span was able to last for the 1st quarter of the movie...after that, i totally lost my interest at all even when they portray the parts of the books that i really love (i.e. the part when Edward & Bella watch Romeo & Juliet / when Edward is trying to protect Bella from the wrath of Jane during the meeting with the Volturi/ when Bella couldn't believe that Edward finally is in her room again, watching her sleep as usual)

i was hoping (more like praying) that the scenes where they shot in Italy would be detailed as described in the book...yeah, i know it would be impossible to depict the scenes exactly like the novel but at least i anticipated that it would be better than what they have shown...sigh...

truly, i am one of the fanatic fan of Twilight and i really love the books and of course, the 1st movie as well...i even watched it several times (in cinema) and countless times (from my pirated DVD)...i truly love it, crazy about it, can't never get enough of it...

nevertheless, the 2nd instalment is a total doom to me...

but..as i said, different people have different opinion...

"as one's man's meat is another man's poison... "

but, i love Jacob Black played by Taylor Lautner (definitely the hunky wolf O^O)
positively a deserving rival for Edward *wink*

the perfect gifts

2009-11-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

the joy of my life - my life, my soul, my everything

i am a person with close-knit connection with my family (with many cousins - big & small, old & young)...though i don't have siblings, yet these people (the cousins) are very important to me...their laugh, spontaneous responses, innocent looks, "i'm-not-guilty" expressions even though, yes, they are indeed guilty - are the joy of my life...

mereka mutiara hati yang menghiburkan di kala kekusutan menjelma, mendamaikan hati di celah-celah kesibukan hidup, membahagiakan perasaan tatkala keresahan melanda, menyejukkan jiwa tatkala dugaan menjengah...

i am blessed

with fortune, love and affection

i am lucky

to be alive, surrounded by families

i am truly indebted to Allah

for all the happiness, joy and sorrow

that create wonders in my life

Thank you Allah

for these perfect gifts"

the crimson love - with grandma @ tok

the one vital thing that could never be replaced by anything

wishing our lives to be blessed forever with love - along, me, My mom, Ummi, kakcik

without any of you, life would be incomplete

the happy faces - Ayuni, Aidid & Qashrina

thier laughter brings happiness to the world

look at the cheeky, domineering Alyssa Qashrina (wearing white) and the gentle, demure Ayuni Illya (wearing blue-black dress)

the protege of 350, jln. bawah, penaga:

the fantastic four of BIG cousins - Kakcik, Along, Angah, Huda (during Along's engagement day)

the unbeatable heroes

their acts crack your head =) - nevertheless, they are still the adorable kids who add colours to my world

read..read..read

2009-11-22T02:01:00.000-08:00

i often heard media says that Malaysians are lazy to read or Malaysians rarely read books as compared to other nations in the world..i always thought that how wrong they were..Malaysians do read - they read blogs, newspaper, comics and so on...as for me, reading is fun! how could they portray Malaysians as lazy!!!

nonetheless, when i started my teaching career last year, i found one distressing fact:

---> my students could not even write an engaging essay, an interesting story or even the correct facts..and please bear in mind, these are intelligent students (they study in selected residential schools in the country)

how sad is the situation?

those who are in my class know better when i always:

--- nag at them - for their grammar

--- scold them - when they couldn't finish the essay right on time..or even if they did, their essays were haywired; disorganised, boring, lame, unengaging and so on.(you name it - all those bad adjectives)

at one time, i blamed myself for being a lousy teacher. i was too busy with extra cocurricular activities. so,i couldn't teach them properly. i negelected them.i wasn't good at delivering my lesson. i didn't know how to integrate fun in my lesson, that was why my students performed badly.and the list of the excuses was so long. i was depressed.

thinking myself as a failure was unbearable - thus, i retorted.

i did a research and analysis. (more like observation and asking questions) why there are students who could really write well (you bet, their essays are flawless in term of grammar errors plus the language flare are so proficient. they beat me at times. but most importantly, their ideas are so engaging, so creative)

i found out the de facto - it is because they are avid readers.they read A LOT. and for those who don't really perform well - they DON'T read even a single book/novel in a year

what they really care is their science subjects - physics, chemistry, biology, add maths.

yup...most of them scored 9A's/10A's in SPM yet their English was B.this is the reason why English subject percentage dropped. we dubbed it as the great downfall.

what did i do?

i collected books on my own.
set up my own library. the advantage of my library is the borrowing period is longer and there is no fine if they return late.

------ > now, the culture of the school hasn't changed much in a year but constant nagging and reminders that i put on my students (poor them..sigh), shows little change in their attitude. at least, they started borrowing books from me to start cultivating the reading habit among themselves. English is still a nightmare.

however, some of them are discouraged to read merely words in the books. they get boring easily.

now, i am trying to manoeuvre my goals into slightly different direction.

i encourage them to read graphic novels.it's funny, it's less serious.

i am still experimenting though..

we'll see the result next year (SPM 2009)

now, i agree with the fact that says Malaysians (not all) are lazy to read

the darling bud..

2009-11-21T07:28:00.000-08:00

salam perkenalan...hi everyone...

it is my first trial at this bloging thingy though people are crazy about it nowadays...so technically, i am still a baby, a darling bud of flowers...my BFF, aunty aida has always persuaded me to try this new form of diary writing..she has been gugu gaga about it for ages! but it never gets into me, until recently...when my colleague, noonateha is always on her screen, updating her fettish towards Boys Over Flower actors and actresses (Junpyo & Jandi)..when Ustaz Amir and Ustaz Zaki conducted a session (during LADAP) called "Bengkel Membina Blog" and promoted their popular blog to the students and teachers..until it seems that everyone now has owned a blog except me...now..it really fires me up to have one, too, though i honestly do not know until when this passion will last...

for one that i know, i am a private person..i don't share my toughts...my thought is my personal, totally mine...and for these reasons, i am always a selfish,stingy person...and for these excuses as well, blogging for me is totally a "no-no", "will-never-happen-forever" situation, a waste of time and bla, bla, bla...

until Ustaz Amir said,

"Blogging ini adalah cara untuk kita berkongsi ilmu, menyampaikan pesan, menyebarkan dakwah...semoga apa yang kita lakukan ini akan diredhai Allah SWT"

these words inpire me to be a blogger -- to spread my knowledge, to share my experiences, to exchange opinions with others..

semoga apa yang dicoretkan di sini sentiasa mendapat keredhaan Allah SWT...Amin..

till then...